am I wrong?
iLoveMyPitbull1225
Posts: 1,690 Member
in Chit-Chat
I found out last night that my best friend that ive known since 5 years old contacted and saw my ex-boyfriend behind my back. He and I had split up a few weeks ago and its been really rough for both of us. I have been crying to my friend for weeks (like anyone would to their best friend) about how badly I want him back, wishing I could talk to him, asking her for advice. I even hung out with a friend of his a few days after we broke up and talked to him about it because I was so upset. He was nice and it was completely platonic.
Back to my friend , apparently she had some brake work done on her car that night that she contacted him. She "didnt know who else to call" when they started to fail and she was right near his house. This is a load of BS. she should have and could have called so many other people but she chose my ex knowing full well the situation between us. He met up with her and helped her solve the problem. He told her he was suprised to hear from her because I had requested that they dont talk. I made this request long after his friend and I had a beer together. (If our relationship was over, I did not want my best friend and my ex talking about it behind my back. Is that unreasonable? she has allegiance to me, not him.) Anyway, she then says "oh really, well thats odd because she hung out with your friend the other day at the local bar" This information is no secret, but it made my ex upset because he didnt know about it. Then, she swore my ex to secrecy not to tell me that she told him that I saw his friend. what the f***? why would she do this? what is her motive? its not a secret, I dont care if he knows I hung out with the friend, because I have nothing to hide. its not a big deal, and if He and I were on speaking terms, I would have told him. but we werent.
In my opinion, it was not her place to
A. tell him about the friend thing
B. even contact him in the first place.
Am I nuts? Shes trying to make me feel like a bad person for being upset with her. The most hurtful thing to me is that i have been crying about him and wishing I could talk to him and freaking out and all along she had seen him BEHIND MY BACK and didnt tell me!!! To me this is seriously wrong and breech of trust. she said " I didnt tell you because i knew youd be pissed at me". YA THINK!?! OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE!!!! WTF?!?!?!!?!? so knowing I would be upset, you decided to do it anyway and just let me find out some other way?!
Not to mention when I called her this afternoon, I asked her if there was anything she wanted to tell me. She said no, why. I said are you sure? she says yes. I told her my ex told me they saw each other. "oh yeah it was for like 10 mins blah blah". Anything else? I ask. No. Did you guys talk about him and I? No. "Thats not what he told me. He said that you told him blah blah, and then made him promise not to tell me. why would you do that?"
I GAVE HER LIKE 6 CHANCES to tell me the truth. she still lied and tried to give me half truth.
SERIOUSLY, am I wrong here? I want someones opinion besides my mom's. Its a really complicated situation I know but im driving myself crazy. I feel like I not only lost my boyfriend recently and now I lost my best friend who I thought I could trust.
Back to my friend , apparently she had some brake work done on her car that night that she contacted him. She "didnt know who else to call" when they started to fail and she was right near his house. This is a load of BS. she should have and could have called so many other people but she chose my ex knowing full well the situation between us. He met up with her and helped her solve the problem. He told her he was suprised to hear from her because I had requested that they dont talk. I made this request long after his friend and I had a beer together. (If our relationship was over, I did not want my best friend and my ex talking about it behind my back. Is that unreasonable? she has allegiance to me, not him.) Anyway, she then says "oh really, well thats odd because she hung out with your friend the other day at the local bar" This information is no secret, but it made my ex upset because he didnt know about it. Then, she swore my ex to secrecy not to tell me that she told him that I saw his friend. what the f***? why would she do this? what is her motive? its not a secret, I dont care if he knows I hung out with the friend, because I have nothing to hide. its not a big deal, and if He and I were on speaking terms, I would have told him. but we werent.
In my opinion, it was not her place to
A. tell him about the friend thing
B. even contact him in the first place.
Am I nuts? Shes trying to make me feel like a bad person for being upset with her. The most hurtful thing to me is that i have been crying about him and wishing I could talk to him and freaking out and all along she had seen him BEHIND MY BACK and didnt tell me!!! To me this is seriously wrong and breech of trust. she said " I didnt tell you because i knew youd be pissed at me". YA THINK!?! OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE!!!! WTF?!?!?!!?!? so knowing I would be upset, you decided to do it anyway and just let me find out some other way?!
Not to mention when I called her this afternoon, I asked her if there was anything she wanted to tell me. She said no, why. I said are you sure? she says yes. I told her my ex told me they saw each other. "oh yeah it was for like 10 mins blah blah". Anything else? I ask. No. Did you guys talk about him and I? No. "Thats not what he told me. He said that you told him blah blah, and then made him promise not to tell me. why would you do that?"
I GAVE HER LIKE 6 CHANCES to tell me the truth. she still lied and tried to give me half truth.
SERIOUSLY, am I wrong here? I want someones opinion besides my mom's. Its a really complicated situation I know but im driving myself crazy. I feel like I not only lost my boyfriend recently and now I lost my best friend who I thought I could trust.
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Replies
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Drama!!
She probably likes him, once you let em go you find out how it goes...
Most guys have a general rule about time and ex's.. if its after a certain amount of time and the friend doesn't care whatever.. obviously you care and should talk to your friend that it upset you..
Bro's before ya know,...0 -
I did, she yelled at me citing that I am always jealous of her when it comes to men and "that it was no big f***ing deal".0
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just my opinion.....
If she's lying to you about it, I would be upset, especially if she's reaching out to him, however, he's your ex. yes its fresh and a new break up, but you broke it off for a reason right? and you did see his friend for perspective, maybe he saw this as an opportunity to do the same?
Talk to your friend, calmly and collected and explain to her that it bothered you and why, and ask why she did it. Your friendship won't move forward without communicating.0 -
You shouldn't have seen his friend if you don't want him seeing your friends. That's being hypocritical.
She shouldn't have hidden info and lied about it.
It's all petty and I would move on.0 -
no. she contacted him for her brakes. not so he could talk to her about me. This is the text she sent me after this conversation:
"The reason I dont tell you s*** like that is cuz you always pick guys over me. no offense but its been that way forever. When **** hit on me you got mad and pushed me out of your life. You always think that im trying to be the center of attention with your men. i didnt tell you about (your ex) becuse i knew youd be pissed at me".
She knows it was wrong. Thats why she didnt tell me. There is a REASON she decided not to tell me about it.. Then she lied about it. Period0 -
Sammi? Ronnie?
seriously though, I agree that you shouldn't ask your ex and friend to not speak if you are speaking to/spoke to his friend.
your friend shouldn't have called him
you shouldn't have talked to his friend.
everyone makes mistakes
move on.0 -
no. she contacted him for her brakes. not so he could talk to her about me. This is the text she sent me after this conversation:
"The reason I dont tell you s*** like that is cuz you always pick guys over me. no offense but its been that way forever. When **** hit on me you got mad and pushed me out of your life. You always think that im trying to be the center of attention with your men. i didnt tell you about (your ex) becuse i knew youd be pissed at me".
She knows it was wrong. Thats why she didnt tell me. There is a REASON she decided not to tell me about it.. Then she lied about it. Period
You asked if you were wrong but it sounds like you've already made up your mind.0 -
You shouldn't have seen his friend if you don't want him seeing your friends. That's being hypocritical.
She shouldn't have hidden info and lied about it.
It's all petty and I would move on.
^^This...0 -
You shouldn't have seen his friend if you don't want him seeing your friends. That's being hypocritical.
She shouldn't have hidden info and lied about it.
It's all petty and I would move on.
I agree. again, I asked him not to contact my friends after that meeting with his friend happened.. I havent seen him since I requested that.
I just really trusted her. This has been hard for me losing him and now I feel like I cant trust her anymore, and thats a lonely place to me.0 -
You shouldn't have seen his friend if you don't want him seeing your friends. That's being hypocritical.
She shouldn't have hidden info and lied about it.
It's all petty and I would move on.
This. It's kind of like the pot calling the kettle black. And OMG....the drama! The level of immaturity going on here is right out of an episode of an after school special. Grow up and move on!0 -
I agree. again, I asked him not to contact my friends after that meeting with his friend happened.. I havent seen him since I requested that.
I just really trusted her. This has been hard for me losing him and now I feel like I cant trust her anymore, and thats a lonely place to me.
You asked him, and he didn't. Who else lives close to him that she could have called? I'd be freaking out if my brakes were failing and probably not thinking straight about who I should or shouldn't call.0 -
This is some high-school drama... And who are you to say who someone else contacts?
:noway:0 -
Regardless of what she did or why she did it one simple truth is all you need to know: a true best friend wouldn't lie or give half truth's.
It seems to me you have two ex's...and honestly your better off without one of them (liars suck).0 -
sounds like a toxic friendship. You arent married. Lose her number and lose his number. Take the trash out of your life.0
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TLDR
Go do some squats0 -
This is why I have very few female friends. She likes your ex..she's lied to you. Drop her and the drama like a bad habit and move on0
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You shouldn't have seen his friend if you don't want him seeing your friends. That's being hypocritical.
She shouldn't have hidden info and lied about it.
It's all petty and I would move on.
Yep, this. You can't lay down a 'rule' and then refuse to abide by it yourself, it's not fair. You both did something 'wrong' here if that's how you consider it. What matters more, your friend or your EX? If you have issues with both of them that can't be fixed, drop them both from your life and lose the stress. Simple.0 -
Just the lying would be enough for me to let her go....The "ex" shouldn't have any reason not to(unfortunately), but your friend, no matter how much she likes him, should have talked to you about it. Also in terms of your relationship w her, i would be wary not to be in a place where I'd "need" to trust her ever again.0
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My best friend DATED my ex and didnt tell me about it. I found out from a mutual after 2 months. Did I trust her after that? No. But I still love her. We are friends though it is limited.
She lied to you because you are a tyrannical and childish moron. Telling your friends who they are allowed to talk to? THATS bullsh%t. Grow the hell up.0 -
oh yes...she done a very evil thing there...because...she had evil intentions...i'd be droppin her quick0
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