Binge Eating for a 'thrill' ?

shineyapple

So i recently discovered how I can pack on around 2000 calories worth of food in under 1 hour, I like the rush & thrill of it.

This morning I woke up, had some breakfast and oatmeal and some vegetables and than I wanted some cheese, and than some cereal. I stopped and started thinking, why am I doing this? Am i even tasting the cereal? And I realized, i get very anxious about food and I just want to eat everything because I like the feeling (even though it makes me feel horrible afterwards). I poured the cereal out and stopped. But than, I went into the drawer and decided to devour a whole 200 gram pack of cadbury chocolate fruit & nut bar. Like why? I wasn't even hungry I ate perfectly well the day before. So i logged everything and before 2pm i had 2100 calories... over my maintenance. I did this i THINKKK because I knew I was "doing something bad" and that got me to stay in the kitchen I think.. Also, when I get very anxious like for example I have somewhere to go quickly, i start eating like everything in sight.. as quickly as I can, (just cause I think the like the feeling of the rush) I can eat a whole days worth of calories in half an hour basically. I am trying my hardest to stop and I am really thinking and analyzing myself when I eat cause I WILL overcome this...

its 3pm Ive had 2100 calories but I cant just not eat for the rest of the day cause than Ill be starving (as well as tomorrow possibly), so I still have to eat something..my tdee 1868 btw

Why do I sabotage myself like this? I am sure I am not the only one

Is anyone else like this?

gonna go swim my life away now...

shineyapple

the worst part is, i STILL want more cheese...........

Eyesblu

Just like your picture says.."Once you control you mind, you can conquer your body.." Enough said.