My Story Seems a Bit Different....

As the title say, my story is a little bit different from the rest of you, from what I've seen. (Anyone find any of this familiar, hit me up).

I am a self-harmer, i.e a cutter.

I'm also mostly recovered. I say mostly because I dont know if anyone every really recovers from anything truly addicting. However, the way that I stopped probably wasn't the best either. I started purging everything I ate. I don't feel that I have an eating disorder however because it's not about eating and weight gain with me. It's about coping and hurting.

That calmed down after awhile and I was ok. And then I wasn't and I started cutting again. I'm awesome that way. So, I started fasting this time and that got me down to the extreme low end of normal for my bmi (also my lowest weight.) But fasting is unsustainable and besides, I wasn't doing it for the weight.

So, I started eating again and cutting again. Which brings us to now.

I'm doing something totally different. I'm exercising. Exercise releases endorphins which is what SH does. So if I replace one with the other I should be doing myself a favor. It seems to be working so far.

Also, I'm painfully shy. And weird.

So......that's me. Hello! Sorry, if that's depressing. I'm not like that to talk to, really! :D

Replies

  • jannemarie74
    jannemarie74 Posts: 28 Member
    I'm so sorry for the distress you have felt, which triggered you to self harm, but i am glad that you have found a safer way to manage. I hope that you don't take exercise to the extreme but can enjoy a moderate amount of exercising while keeping up the eating.

    My daughter self harmed for a few years but realised that it was affecting her children badly.

    She has got into exercise also and overdid it giving herself a back problem so had to stop that, but now she is back into it and is trying to keep it to safe and healthy levels.

    I have started exercising just 9 days ago and it is helping to keep my mood up. I am really starting to get what exercise can do for you moodwise.

    I wish you the very best and hope you can stay in a good place for a long time.
  • Self harming is what I feel I do everyday when I go to MacDonald's instead of making a decent meal to eat. I turn to food every time I'm upset or stressed out. Then I turn to food for any reason I feel I can justify. I justify it ALOT.

    My heart is broken for you and the stresses you have felt and the painful journey you have traveled - I hope you understand when I say - I truly do understand your pain - we all "deal" in our own way.

    I hope we all find our own way back. We need to believe in ourselves again - and remember that we have value! We all belong to someone - and we all mean something to someone.
  • Oh, wow, thanks. I honestly thought I'd have been run off the site.It's why I haven't posted yet though I've been on for a bit. You guys are lovely. :heart: