Looking for the right cleanse. Can anyone help me?

Options
2»

Replies

  • valerieottaviano
    valerieottaviano Posts: 52 Member
    Options
    Go to Experience Life magazines website. They have a wonderful history section & they do healthy cleanse suggestions, almost every January they have some article that's smart & won't kill you !!! Good luck
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    Options
    I do a cleanse about once a month, by accident.
    This usually involves a night of binge drinking, followed by stopping at the Taco Bell drive thru when the bar closes down.
    On good nights, I'll have it coming out of both ends. I like to call that a "super cleanse".
    Good luck.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Options
    I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!

    -its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while :)

    Evidence that cleanses are for suckers.
  • JulesAtkinson1
    JulesAtkinson1 Posts: 219 Member
    Options
    1 strip club (preferably the one down by the railroad tracks where all the GOOD strippers dance).
    1L Gentleman Jack
    1L Absolut Private Collection
    1 particularly fancy dancer with a Versace and heroin addiction and 5 kids
    1 Good friend to set you up with above fancy dancer
    Blend all together for around 12 hours
    Pour yourselves immediately into limo
    Drive for 15 minutes to 24 hour wedding chapel

    That ought to do it, but if there is any "cleansing" still to be done:

    1 divorce lawyer
    1 private investigator
    1 intervention counselor

    Use all together, or add one at a time for an even more intense cleanse.

    If cleansing has still not taken full effect:

    1 defense attorney
    2 paid off witnesses
    1 trip to South America via smuggler's fishing boat.

    Enjoy!!
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
    Options
    I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!

    -its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while :)

    I sometimes feel guilty for not reading all the responses, but not reading the original post at all??

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :noway: :huh:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!

    -its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while :)

    sarcasmdetector5jx.png

    Mega Man picture = Instant Win.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Options
    I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse? :tongue:

    nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.
  • krislyn84
    krislyn84 Posts: 337 Member
    Options
    Now accepting applications for Sugar Daddies.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Options
    I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse? :tongue:

    nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.

    Challenge accepted.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Options
    I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse? :tongue:

    nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.

    Challenge accepted.

    I find this post humorous and clever. Props to you. :flowerforyou:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Options
    I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse? :tongue:

    nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.

    Challenge accepted.

    I find this post humorous and clever. Props to you. :flowerforyou:

    :ohwell:

    You're ruining everything!

    :cry:
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Options
    Your friendly neighborhood strip club would be happy to help you with that
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Options
    I guess you gave up on the poptart cleanse? :tongue:

    nevermind... didn't register on the brain when i was reading. Poptarts don't do too much for fat wallets. Unless you buy crates of them.

    Challenge accepted.

    I find this post humorous and clever. Props to you. :flowerforyou:

    :ohwell:

    You're ruining everything!

    :cry:

    tumblr_lu7mfa2bI01qmrlovo1_500_zps51d020cd.gif
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
    Options
    I think I can help.

    Cash in your bank accounts.
    Fill your bathtub with $1 bills.
    Strip naked and get in the bath.
    Rub the $1 bills all over yourself, paying particular attention to your mouth, *kitten* and genitals.
    After 30 minutes, step out of the bath and get dressed in freshly laundered clothes.
    Collect the dollar bills and take into the backyard or a public place.
    Build a small fire and feed the $1 bills into the fire one at a time.

    This ritual will clense you entirely.

    And if that's not your cup of tea, I know the President of Nigeria is looking for an offshore bank account to park his money for a short period of time. He'll offer you ten percent but he'll clean you out good 'n' proper.
  • MrsNolf
    MrsNolf Posts: 38 Member
    Options
    here's my problem: my wallet is simply too fat. i need to make it thinner. so i'm looking for a detox or a cleanse that will do that for me. the more of these toxic dollars i can get rid of, the better. the faster, the better. i feel this is a good way to jump start my journey to poverty.

    any suggestions?

    ps - no haters.

    Cocaine addiction.

    this!
  • Fit_Vixen1
    Fit_Vixen1 Posts: 419
    Options
    I don't know if this is the type of cleanse you mean, but every once in a while I take the 14 day acai berry cleanse. I am taking it now actually! But you need to wait a couple months in between. I don't take it to shed pounds, though it does knock of a couple (but I also eat in my calorie goal and exercise every day) but it keeps me from feeling bloated and it makes me feel healthy. I only take 3 pills a day rather than four though. I think it is only like 11 bucks, so cheap!

    -its not a magic pill, obviously. I just do it because it makes me feel more healthy every once in a while :)



    Obviously a member

    sarcasm.jpg

Categories