Feeling like yourself after weight loss..

kavanaghev

I recently lost about 35 pounds, from 175-140lbs. I'm 5'6", but fairly muscular with big butt/thighs, went from 30% BF to 22%. My husband has been deployed for the last 6 months, and when he left I was still carrying major baby weight, but we've been together for 8 years and I've never been smaller than 155ish (size 8) in that time, and he has always loved my body at every size (he is a very good man). Now I am a size 4, my face is thin, my boobs are smaller from weight loss and breastfeeding, I have stretchmarks from pregnancy, but also abs now actually. I went shopping for the first time since meeting my goal weight and I was still shopping in the 8s and Larges and couldn't really wrap my head around the smaller sizes. The styles I wore all my life (and loved, because I have always been a proud curvy girl) are not really flattering on me anymore so I am feeling lost in that department. Then I had three people I know really well, but hadn't seen in a few months not even recognize me at all when I ran into them. I facetimed with my dad for the first time in a month and he said I looked really different.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy that I am healthier now and excited (as most women would be) to wear smaller sizes and all that jazz. I wanted to be a good example for my daughter and that is my goal moving forward as well, but I am sort of having a crisis of not feeling like myself. When I look in the mirror I look exactly the same as I always have, but it is kind of alarming to have everyone around me reacting strangely or treating me differently all of a sudden and so I am constantly thinking "Do I look weird or something? Am I not able to see what I really look like?". On top of that, I lost most of this weight while at home for 2 months over the holidays (because I had someone to watch my daughter and could actually go to the gym every day) so when I came back I was as small as or smaller than my girlfriends and whether they are actually treating me differently or not, it FEELS like something is different. My oldest friend back home is doing the Optifast program so she has lost dramatic weight as well, but she feels MORE like herself and I feel so much less so.

I'm sure that it will pass, but I can't help but feel worried that my husband is going to get off the bus from Afghanistan and not recognize me. Or that he won't like the woman he is coming home to because he was always a T&A kind of guy. I'm just desperate to feel like myself again! Does anyone have any experience with this? I don't feel comfortable talking to close family or friends about this because it seems sort of socially unacceptable to whine about being uncomfortable with being thinner, if that makes sense.

fiberartist219

It will take some time to get used to how you look now, but you'll get there, and your friends and family will too.

I think it will help once you've got all new clothes. It might be weird picking them out yourself, so you might want some help. If there is a friend that you've recently made that doesn't know what you looked like before, maybe that would be a good candidate to help. If not, some of the high end stores, like Nordstrom, offer a personal shopper type thing. It's basically a sales person that helps you pick out flattering clothes.

The styles that were flattering before might not be flattering now, so prepare yourself for that. However, things you couldn't wear before might fit like a glove now. It won't be bad, but it will be different.

If you are worried about your friends and family recognizing you, you can try to keep your hair, makeup and accessories the same as they were before. Carry a familiar bag or wear a familiar hat. Sometimes that helps.

Congrats on your weight loss. You should be proud of your hard work. I know that once you get used to it, you'll be proud of your new body too.

fiberartist219

Oh, and for what it's worth, people probably are acting weird... but once they see that you're still the same lovable person that you've always been, they will eventually act normal again. However, if you feel weird about yourself, they will feel weird about you too... if that makes sense. Once you find your confidence, it will probably be a short time after that they act normal around you again too.

kavanaghev

Yes thank you! I do feel like I am being weird because my perception is so off and if anything, that is what's causing other people to be weird. Like I know rationally that the surprise I see on people's faces is just because I lost weight and it's not a judgement or anything, but it really throws me for a loop and I lose my confidence in social situations. We are moving soon, so that will help I am sure.

nannybubbles

Hi there... I just wanted to reply to let you know that it makes perfect sense.... I can completely relate to this... I am bigger and older than you, and please don't get me wrong either, I am loving it... getting my life back, but I am finding it is at least as much an emotional experience as it is a physical one ...

Good or bad, a substantial part of who I was and who I had been for such a long time has gone.... I know it was gross, I am not in denial, but it has made me really understand that flesh (in my case lots of it!) and blood doesn't make us who we are... it doesn't, or shouldn't, define us...

A week on Thursday I am flying from the uk to texas to see my youngest son and his wife for the first time in 17 months... he hasn't seen me since I started losing weight, but his pride and delight at my progress have been completely overwhelming... I was so disappointed this week when a pair of jeans were delivered (me in jeans... HA!) that I had ordered for my trip because I held them up and thought... dam, never mind... i'll make them my goal when i get back.... tried them on to see how much of a challenge they were going to be and ??????????? I truly could not believe it! best things i have ever bought.... i am going to have to get one of my sons to convince me i am 57 because i feel 20 years younger... actually that's a lie... i feel 30 years younger but i think that would freak them out!!

I love writing and I am working on a piece on exactly this.... feel free to add me to stay in touch and you are welcome to read it when it is finished, if you would like to... in the meantime... you say your husband is a very good man.... his job belies that..... i am sure he is going to be knocked out.... he loves YOU... happy, healthy YOU... i am sure that sharing your thoughts with him will only bring you even closer...

wishng you both lasting love, luck and laughter ...