Getting fed up of being asked about pregnancy

Supern0va81

Forewarning that this is just a personal harrumph because I'm upset/angry and need to vent - apologies in advance.

So one of my motivations for loosing weight is because I didn't like being asked when I was 'due'. 3 times now...

I tend to hold my weight mainly around my stomach which apparently makes me a typical apple. 4 years married (2009) and those of you who are newly wed or who have chosen not to have or imminently have children might relate to the awkwardness of the expectation of others for you to want to have a family of your own, and because you haven't they then seem to assume of their own accord that you haven't had any 'luck' yet and take it upon themselves to 'probe' occasionally. I mean SERIOUSLY, what's wrong with them are they that impertinent and have no respect for another's personal lives at all???? Kinda makes me realise that changing my shape wont affect the above, only my personal response will so I'll give that some thought too - not that it's any of their business!!

I am loosing weight to feel better about myself, eventually sexier, hopefully more toned, defined and in a better healthier balance. If that increases my fertility chances then bam - extra win. Unlike some I wasn't one of these people that grows up knowing they want to get married and have babies, and it's all coming to me gradually but sometimes it just seems too easy to notice how much my body shape seems to give away about how I am feeling about myself. Does it really have to be explained back to me in such a crass astute fashion though???

pkw58

People are pretty unbeleivable sometimes, arent they? I chose not to have biological children of my own . The stars never aliined and suddenly it occurred to me I needed to use those mothering skills differently.

I remember thise questions vividly and i hope those people who told me i was "missing out" enjoyed their children immensely. I love my stepson, his wife and my nieces and nephews. All my friends children and all the new bright accountants fresh out of collage have been a joy to work with.

Choices and change scare people. Glad they dont scare me!

danibu98

The ( I hope) last time someone asked me if I was pregnant was at the end of January. No one has since, and I plan to never get asked again!

Lottiehill29

Forewarning that this is just a personal harrumph because I'm upset/angry and need to vent - apologies in advance.

So one of my motivations for loosing weight is because I didn't like being asked when I was 'due'. 3 times now...

I tend to hold my weight mainly around my stomach which apparently makes me a typical apple. 4 years married (2009) and those of you who are newly wed or who have chosen not to have or imminently have children might relate to the awkwardness of the expectation of others for you to want to have a family of your own, and because you haven't they then seem to assume of their own accord that you haven't had any 'luck' yet and take it upon themselves to 'probe' occasionally. I mean SERIOUSLY, what's wrong with them are they that impertinent and have no respect for another's personal lives at all???? Kinda makes me realise that changing my shape wont affect the above, only my personal response will so I'll give that some thought too - not that it's any of their business!!

I am loosing weight to feel better about myself, eventually sexier, hopefully more toned, defined and in a better healthier balance. If that increases my fertility chances then bam - extra win. Unlike some I wasn't one of these people that grows up knowing they want to get married and have babies, and it's all coming to me gradually but sometimes it just seems too easy to notice how much my body shape seems to give away about how I am feeling about myself. Does it really have to be explained back to me in such a crass astute fashion though???

What irritates me is that if the person is unsure whether or not you're pregnant, why say anything at all? It is far kinder if they don't acknowledge it.
I got asked last year when I was due. I felt so embarrassed that I lied and said in 4 months :mad:
I felt so awful and mad that a) they would even have the nerve to ask and b) that I went along with their lie.
I was so disappointed in myself.

terriblyn

Oh my! Story of my (recent) life!
I was married last July and I was also asked 3 times if I was pregnant. One woman asked if I was pregnant or just getting fat....
Now, I had gained back a few lbs in a year...but I was tiny to start with, and wearing a size 8/10, there was absolutely no way I was looking pregnant...
I think that people just put wedding and babies together.
I let it get to me, and eventually got over it (and also got rid of all clothes with an empire waist)... I hope you can move past it soon too

Chin up!

Supern0va81

I can't believe how insensitive some people can be but it is also comforting to know that I'm not alone in the challenges we each face. Thank you.

It also does away with the guilt that seems to come from not wanting to start a family straight away, Whether my body decides it does or doesn't have the capacity to make babies will be revealed when the time is right and for now whatever size and shape I am I know that the changes that I'm making are only improvements to the original cast.

I am liking the attitude on this thread by the way - everyone determined to do what's right for themselves (minus my original post of course) but you've all brightened my perspective immensely Xx

JLongaphy

I feel your pain - I've been married 7 years and no kids (deliberately). It's amazing how bad those sideways looks at an ill-fitting sweater can make you feel, or all the questions at every stomach bug. Honestly people!

salcha76

Ugh...some people! I've been asked that before myself....and now years later enjoy a snicker at the people who asked seeing that they have gained the weight I've lost....
Unless there is a baby currently coming out of you...no one should ever ask that question!
Chin up....You could always just make them feel dumb & say no i'm just overweight but thanks for being so rude!