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MFP Wisdom. My turn to give back.
sunsnstatheart
Posts: 2,544 Member
I've learned so much on this site in the months that I've been here, that I though I should share some of this valuable insight.
(1) When a kid calls you fat, smack 'em.
(2) When your SO doesn't eat what you think is healthy, rage quit and break up.
(3) When your SO "sabotages" you by eating "junk" in front of you, well junk punch 'em, of course!
(4) You can weigh 135 pounds, never enter any bodybuilding or power lifting competition whatsoever, and be "elite" (love the internetz).
(5) The slightest morsel of anything from McDonald's will instantly result in a shorter life span and, most likely, giant butt warts.
(6) Inserting a wide variety of substances in your rectum is a sound way to "detox" your body, and so is starving yourself for days at a time.
(7) Peer reviewed studies are a waste of time and you should listen to your own good judgment, gosh darn it.
(8) You don't actually have to have a degree in anything remotely related to science to be an expert, and failing out of freshman biology still qualifies you as an expert, particularly if you have ever spoken to someone with a degree. (see 4 above).
(9) Junk food is on par with heroin as to its addictive properties.
(10) MFP is full of mean, bullying, selfish, people who join cliques and are out to ruin every else's self esteem.
(11) You cannot lose weight alone. You are just too weak. You must take pills.
(12) Birthday celebrations are a no no, unless they are in a private group because they are exclusionary, but naming your weasel/dog/gerbil/rock is for everyone.
Yes. I think that pretty much sums up what I've learned in the forums. There, now don't say I never gave you anything.
Oh, and for anyone is going to take this in earnest, please observe the dangerous MFP clique in action:
(1) When a kid calls you fat, smack 'em.
(2) When your SO doesn't eat what you think is healthy, rage quit and break up.
(3) When your SO "sabotages" you by eating "junk" in front of you, well junk punch 'em, of course!
(4) You can weigh 135 pounds, never enter any bodybuilding or power lifting competition whatsoever, and be "elite" (love the internetz).
(5) The slightest morsel of anything from McDonald's will instantly result in a shorter life span and, most likely, giant butt warts.
(6) Inserting a wide variety of substances in your rectum is a sound way to "detox" your body, and so is starving yourself for days at a time.
(7) Peer reviewed studies are a waste of time and you should listen to your own good judgment, gosh darn it.
(8) You don't actually have to have a degree in anything remotely related to science to be an expert, and failing out of freshman biology still qualifies you as an expert, particularly if you have ever spoken to someone with a degree. (see 4 above).
(9) Junk food is on par with heroin as to its addictive properties.
(10) MFP is full of mean, bullying, selfish, people who join cliques and are out to ruin every else's self esteem.
(11) You cannot lose weight alone. You are just too weak. You must take pills.
(12) Birthday celebrations are a no no, unless they are in a private group because they are exclusionary, but naming your weasel/dog/gerbil/rock is for everyone.
Yes. I think that pretty much sums up what I've learned in the forums. There, now don't say I never gave you anything.
Oh, and for anyone is going to take this in earnest, please observe the dangerous MFP clique in action:
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Replies
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You forgot about aspartame and the likelihood that it will cause your genitals to fall off.
Also, lifting heavy will cause uterine prolapse if you're a woman.0 -
Looking at a dumbbell over 5lbs will make you bulky0
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Coffee should only be taken rectally.0
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Thanks to both of you! There's just so much goodness packed into one little package here, it's so easy to forget!0
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Ohhh, Ohhh! Can I be the guy with the chain? Please!0
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I love it! Let me add a couple of my own:
1. Dr Oz/Mercola/ has actually discovered the super-secret secret to weightloss, and is now sharing with all of you from the very goodness of his heart. And the scientists that disagree with everything he says are just corrupt, lying *kitten* who want you all to DIE!
2. The ONLY way to be successful in the long term is to 'lift heavy' and eat as much protein as a starved polar bear every day. THE ONLY WAY!!!
3. Blogs and alarmist websites always have the best nutritional information, and should be followed in preference to reasonable research and accepted guidelines from disinterested parties.
4. Everyone is a 10. Always.
5. Disagreement by rational, supported argument and debate is actually the very definition of trolling/attacking/being mean/a vendetta/being part of a clique.
6. Correct spelling and grammar are completely optional.0 -
This is offensive and I feel bullied. Also, everyone knows Sensa is the way to go.0
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I wish I could take #6 and make it a signature.0
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Oh, and for anyone is going to take this in earnest, please observe the dangerous MFP clique in action:
In case anyone is unclear, or bumps into them in the street:
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Why did no one ever tell me?!?! I ate a kid's meal from McDonalds TWICE last week!
***runs off to nearest mirror to check for butt warts!*** 0 -
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you forgot that it's spelled "cliche" around here.0
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Love this!0
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I don't care what ANYONE says. I have been on MFP far too long to never see EVERYTHING in the forums summed up like this. BEST. THREAD. EVER.0
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Fantastic.0
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:laugh: Just....dying :laugh: over here......!0
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curvy ≠ plus size0
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<----taking notes0
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If you eat anything less than 1800 calories, your weightloss attempt is doomed. DOOOMED!0
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Z-shaped bowel movements will puncture your intestines and cause immediate death.0
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Just one word: EXACTLY!!!!! 0
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BWAHHAHAA.0 -
In for the butt wars0
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curvy ≠ plus size
Yes. This was a major one I missed. "Whatever body type you have, have worked hard for, or desire, Yea that one? It's wrong!!!!"0 -
I want all of you to be my friends :flowerforyou:0
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I don't care what ANYONE says. I have been on MFP far too long to never see EVERYTHING in the forums summed up like this. BEST. THREAD. EVER.
Meh, this list is a little too "current". I'd prefer if it included some of the classics from months/years ago. (I'd give some examples, but I can't remember them...which is probably why they weren't included.)0
This discussion has been closed.
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