FAILSAFE diet and ADHD.. any parents with success?

Neets086

Just wondering if any parents out there have tried or have thoughts on this? Or have had any success with ADHD symptoms in their children?

My 6 year old son has not officially been diagnosed with ADHD but since starting childcare and school in the last 2 years it has become more apparent that this may be the case. At home he is just the average young boy, has issues listening at times (but what boy doesn’t right haha) but in social situations he is always interrupting people and can get over active and show off I guess.

My main concern is its affecting his schooling. He is a very hands on kid, likes to touch everything and fidget, sometimes pinching other students to get their attention, so at school it is a big NO NO! As he is interrupting class and annoying students. I was introduced to the failsafe diet as a relief, and as it is quite restrictive and a long process, I adapted it to cut out most “bad” foods from his diet. But as the holidays came he basically went back to eating whatever while away, the new year started I seemed to be getting ok feedback from his teacher, until now… it seems that his old traits are starting to show through again.

I want to steer away from medication as I feel there are better ways to deal with this than turning to that straight away. So I am going to start changing his diet again in hopes it will help. He also comes with me to the Chiropractor fortnightly; he said he has great response in children in regards to behavioral changes.

Has anyone else had any success with this or any ideas or personal experiences?
I know it is common within kids these days, but it’s hard to not feel like a complete failure at times, so any feedback would be great :flowerforyou:

djames92

i struggled with adhd through high school it wasnt until college i found something that worked.. chewing gum! for me chewing gum is something to do that doesnt distract for the class im in. keeps me from needing to move all the time since im constantly chewing

Kazjak14

I found the book, " Is your child's brain starving" by Dr. Michael Lyons to be very helpful with my son.

We also went to a naturopath and found out he has several food allergies. Now that we have removed those foods he has much better control over his own behaviour.

Neets086

Thats great, thank you.

I just did a quick search, he has a video online and funnily enough At the end of the video he says that in Australia they have actually passed a law that says that doctors have to look at nutritional factors and behavioral modification before they can consider prescribing drugs like Ritalin or they will be audited and they could actually lose their prescribing privileges.

The doctor i saw basically gave me that option straight away :grumble:

My sister in law is actually a naturopath and she has done some testing on him... unfortunately we didn't finish eliminating them all, so i might go visit them and spend a weekend working on that.

michellemarie3434

I want to address this first: You are NOT a failure! Just the fact that you are trying to help your son makes you stand out from the parents who ignore these issues or (God forbid) punish or spank them for behavior that is out of their control. I have a son (13) that is ADHD. I understand being hesitant about going the medication route, but there ARE some major benefits.

1. If other behavior modifications don't work, and they are not on medication, some of these kids will eventually self medicate (alcohol, drugs etc.)
2. If left untreated, self image is affected, as they begin to see other students and friends pull away due to their aggressive or annoying behavior. Even if no one ever actually speaks it, they begin to feel like a "bad" child, based on the reactions of family, friends, and even teachers.
3. Many of these children are actually quite gifted, but can end up in learning disabled classes because they cannot concentrate.

As a Mom to one of these kids...Don't give up! Help is out there!

hdlb

I found the book, " Is your child's brain starving" by Dr. Michael Lyons to be very helpful with my son.

We also went to a naturopath and found out he has several food allergies. Now that we have removed those foods he has much better control over his own behaviour.

Our oldest was always ok in school, but at home she was not. Tons of meltdowns and crying, attitude, and the inablility to pay attention to us, remember anything we asked her to do or focus on anything for more then a few seconds. We started by removing all processed food and that helped, but it wasn't until I was diagnosed with Celiac and we realized that she had quite a few of the symptoms herself, and we took her off gluten, that we had a major breakthrough with her. shes a totally different kid now.

OnionMomma

I want to address this first: You are NOT a failure! Just the fact that you are trying to help your son makes you stand out from the parents who ignore these issues or (God forbid) punish or spank them for behavior that is out of their control. I have a son (13) that is ADHD. I understand being hesitant about going the medication route, but there ARE some major benefits.

1. If other behavior modifications don't work, and they are not on medication, some of these kids will eventually self medicate (alcohol, drugs etc.)
2. If left untreated, self image is affected, as they begin to see other students and friends pull away due to their aggressive or annoying behavior. Even if no one ever actually speaks it, they begin to feel like a "bad" child, based on the reactions of family, friends, and even teachers.
3. Many of these children are actually quite gifted, but can end up in learning disabled classes because they cannot concentrate.

As a Mom to one of these kids...Don't give up! Help is out there!

^^ Yes, This!!

We have been warned by our Pediatrician that are son will be considered twice exceptional. Meaning he will qualify for services (in public school) for ADHD as well as gifted.

These are the worse two combinations ever!!!!

We like to look at it this way:

One day, my son will be able to accomplish great and mighty things with his need for little sleep and the HIGH amount of energy he has.

ADHD people tend to "think outside the box" much more than others as well as being able to concentrated (once they learn how) on MANY different things at ONE time.

Amazing people these ADHD kids/adults are and I can't WAIT to see how he is when he grows up. (He's 6)

michellemarie3434

I want to address this first: You are NOT a failure! Just the fact that you are trying to help your son makes you stand out from the parents who ignore these issues or (God forbid) punish or spank them for behavior that is out of their control. I have a son (13) that is ADHD. I understand being hesitant about going the medication route, but there ARE some major benefits.

1. If other behavior modifications don't work, and they are not on medication, some of these kids will eventually self medicate (alcohol, drugs etc.)
2. If left untreated, self image is affected, as they begin to see other students and friends pull away due to their aggressive or annoying behavior. Even if no one ever actually speaks it, they begin to feel like a "bad" child, based on the reactions of family, friends, and even teachers.
3. Many of these children are actually quite gifted, but can end up in learning disabled classes because they cannot concentrate.

As a Mom to one of these kids...Don't give up! Help is out there!

^^ Yes, This!!

We have been warned by our Pediatrician that are son will be considered twice exceptional. Meaning he will qualify for services (in public school) for ADHD as well as gifted.

These are the worse two combinations ever!!!!

We like to look at it this way:

One day, my son will be able to accomplish great and mighty things with his need for little sleep and the HIGH amount of energy he has.

ADHD people tend to "think outside the box" much more than others as well as being able to concentrated (once they learn how) on MANY different things at ONE time.

Amazing people these ADHD kids/adults are and I can't WAIT to see how he is when he grows up. (He's 6)

TOTALLY love this because it runs in our family, and we (the adults) just joke about how awesome it is that we take multi-tasking to a whole new level! You are correct. They do grow up to be some OUTSTANDING people!

5ftnFun

My son is nearly 21. He was diagnosed w/ADHD when he was in kindergarten. We tried everything!! Diet, exercise, PT/OT. Eventually, we found the right mix of counseling (for coping strategies for us and skills for him) and medication. I know you said you want to avoid medication if you can, but don't feel like a failure if you need to go that route. We had to try out a couple different meds & doses to get it just right. I would've preferred he didn't need it, but it truly made the difference at home and school.

My kid is doing well in his 2nd year of college. He gets accommodations for testing & his school work, but otherwise, he's just like the other students. I don't want to mention the school, but it's a big school on the east coast and his major is Civil Engineering. He's pretty smart.

Good luck in finding a plan that works!

ddky

My ADHD child is now 30. So I can tell you that if your child has this, you are in for a long painful 12 years of school. I could write a hundred pages on my experiences. Such as staying up late with him to get a paper completed and then finding it a week later, still in his backpack where he never turned it in. What worked best for me was having him to earn back priviledges. I would wait until he got a bad write up from school or a bad report card and then ground him from whatever he liked at the time (video games, playing with neighborhood kids, or maybe all of them, then he had to earn them back. Example if he got a bad report card, he was grounded, but he could buy back time with a good school paper. An A grade on a paper could get him 2 hours of play time, a B one hour, a B on a test could get him a whole day. Remember that for these kids 6 weeks might as well be 6 years. So he wouldn't work for a reward based on his next report card. But he could relate to" if I turn this paper in and good a good grade, I can play video games tonight". Consistent discipline is also very important. You can't let him get by with behavior this week that got him punished last week just because you are too tired to deal with it. You have to be consistent on what is and what is not allowed. You can do this without medication. It was actually my sons choice to not do the medicines. He tried them for awhile and didn't like the way they made him feel. Way too many kids are on medicines. I'm not saying that there aren't some that need to be. But there are a lot on meds, that don't need to be. Good luck and I wish you all the best.

caribear1984

Bumping for future reference. My son was recently diagnosed, and I would also like to avoid medication as much as possible.

karenhray7

I found the book, " Is your child's brain starving" by Dr. Michael Lyons to be very helpful with my son.

We also went to a naturopath and found out he has several food allergies. Now that we have removed those foods he has much better control over his own behaviour.

Our oldest was always ok in school, but at home she was not. Tons of meltdowns and crying, attitude, and the inablility to pay attention to us, remember anything we asked her to do or focus on anything for more then a few seconds. We started by removing all processed food and that helped, but it wasn't until I was diagnosed with Celiac and we realized that she had quite a few of the symptoms herself, and we took her off gluten, that we had a major breakthrough with her. shes a totally different kid now.

Sounds like my son. We cut out wheat and he's not so "crazy" (his term) anymore. I quit too and am feeling so much clearer and just better.

Neets086

Awwwww big hugs to all of you, youve made me feel alot better

Thank you for your input, I am not totally against medication, but it is defiently my last resort.
I'm meeting with his teacher tomorrow to talk about his behaviour and what we can do before he falls behind.
Last year they didnt notify me to anything going on until half way through the year and put alot of pressure on me to "fix" the problem, luckily his new teacher seems a little more understanding, so i guess if we keep up with communication i can stay on top of it.

For ages i was frustrated at him because i didnt understand, i thought he was just acting out, but now have alot more patients knowing that he can't help it. I sit him down and have a talk about things that had happened and explain to him why they are wrong, and he feels bad and upset with himself, he says he doesnt know why he does it. Breaks my heart, poor little man.
Its just another lesson thrown our way i guess, got to stay positive and work through it.

Oh and totally agree with seeing things outside the box, he constantly blows me away with some things he says and does!!

neandermagnon

I want to address this first: You are NOT a failure! Just the fact that you are trying to help your son makes you stand out from the parents who ignore these issues or (God forbid) punish or spank them for behavior that is out of their control. I have a son (13) that is ADHD. I understand being hesitant about going the medication route, but there ARE some major benefits.

1. If other behavior modifications don't work, and they are not on medication, some of these kids will eventually self medicate (alcohol, drugs etc.)
2. If left untreated, self image is affected, as they begin to see other students and friends pull away due to their aggressive or annoying behavior. Even if no one ever actually speaks it, they begin to feel like a "bad" child, based on the reactions of family, friends, and even teachers.
3. Many of these children are actually quite gifted, but can end up in learning disabled classes because they cannot concentrate.

As a Mom to one of these kids...Don't give up! Help is out there!

^^ Yes, This!!

We have been warned by our Pediatrician that are son will be considered twice exceptional. Meaning he will qualify for services (in public school) for ADHD as well as gifted.

I'm twice exceptional... I'm really glad your son's been recognised as such, because most people don't even believe people like us even exist, or that we'd have different needs. They seem to think that a gifted level of intelligence means you have the emotional maturity of an adult and can learn to do anything. I went through my entire childhood being berated constantly for all the difficulties I had because no-one believed that I found them difficult (not just difficult, virtually impossible in some cases) and so on top of me being so confused and not understanding why everything at school was either way to easy or way to difficult, or a combination of those to that resulted in me being unable to meet the teachers expectations, I was constantly berated for it, told I was lazy, not trying, and all the rest. The ed psych who diagnosed me at age 19 said that if I'd had the right help at the right time I'd have got straight A's and gone to Oxford or Cambridge. What happened instead was I left high school believing I was uneducatable and with severe anxiety and self esteem problems. The diagnosis made me realise that I was capable of achieving and I went to university (one that had really good dyslexia/special needs support) and got a 2:1 (British university grade - top grade is a 1st, then a 2:1, then 2:2: then 3rd then a bare pass). I'd like to go back and do a masters and PhD at some point.

Anyway, I know how difficult it can be to even get teachers to recognise the kinds of problem twice exceptional kids face, in one breath they'll dismiss the possibility that such a combination even exists and in the next they'll say you (or the child) is very bright, but just lazy, doesn't want to learn, all the rest (which is utterly soul destroying when you're trying your very best and don't even understand why you're struggling in the first place...)

anyway, being twice exceptional shouldn't really be that difficult for teachers to grasp. I can understand Einstein's theories of relativity, but I can't remember my own phone number. I have disabilities that affect my ability to learn anything by rote, sequences of numbers and random letters especially and I have a weak visual memory for certain things, including the shapes of words (so I was unable to learn to read without phonics). I also can't do arithmetic in my head, not because I'm bad at maths, but because my working memory can't hold enough information to process the numbers. I understand arithmetic (and far more complex mathematical concepts) I just can't do it, because that part of my brain can't hold the numbers to be able to process them. And I couldn't learn my times tables by rote either, although I have a weird set of mnemonics that help me with them.

My older daughter has ADHD and dysleixa like me, not sure if she has the dyscalculia or not yet. My younger daughter is too young to be able to tell. I'm keeping a close eye on it, and I'm half homeschooling my kids, so I'm making sure I'm using teaching methods that worked for me, for my daughter, as she seems to have inherited my brain wiring. It's interesting though, because I'm sending them to a small, local Arabic school, where the teachers have no prior knowledge of ADHD or dyslexia, but when I explained it to them, they understood and are being very helpful and understanding towards her when she has difficulties in specific things, while being very clever at other things. They seem to grasp the idea that not everyone learns the same way better than many western teachers who are aware of conditions like dyslexia etc. ( of course there are very good, supportive and knowledgable teachers in the west who are great at working with kids with these kinds of problems, just that they seem to be the exception rather than the rule, and I blame the way that these issues are taught and dealt with in teacher training colleges)

OnionMomma

^^It makes me sad to read things like that but I'm soo glad things have worked out well.

__________________________________________________________

To the OP, don't feel like a failure for having to do meds. Try other things first, we did. We aren't able to eliminate things from his diet because he had a pretty bad medical past and we can't pull things that are helping him gain weight and he will accept orally to eat. (He was tube fed 2.5 years and didn't accept age appropriate foods until around almost 4)

A low dose of meds has certainly helped him alot.

happyheathen927

OMG, I'm so glad I opened this thread. My oldest daughter has been struggling so much with math. She reads FAR above grade level and excels in every other subject, but at almost nine she is still struggling with addition and subtraction; don't even get me started on the multiplication tables. It doesn't matter how much we drill or work with her; the numbers just won't stay in her head. I'd never heard of dyscalculia before, but the more I read the more it sounds like her.

neandermagnon

OMG, I'm so glad I opened this thread. My oldest daughter has been struggling so much with math. She reads FAR above grade level and excels in every other subject, but at almost nine she is still struggling with addition and subtraction; don't even get me started on the multiplication tables. It doesn't matter how much we drill or work with her; the numbers just won't stay in her head. I'd never heard of dyscalculia before, but the more I read the more it sounds like her.

That definitely sounds like dyscalculia. Unfortunately it's not as well known as dyslexia. It's sometimes informally known as "maths dyslexia". IMO dyscalculia should be considered a possibility in anyone who's excelling at every area while struggling in maths. It may not be in every case, there are people who just hate maths, but when someone's trying 10 times as hard as everyone else and still can't do something that to other people is a lot easier than other stuff they can learn easily, then IMO a specific learning disability should be considered a possibility.

Not sure how you'd go about getting help for her if you're in the USA (I'm from the UK, so only familiar with the UK systems) but there are internet forums for dyscalculia where maybe you can get advice.

Amberonamission

My 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with add when she was 5. The meds (4 kinds) didn't work. They made her crazy. And so unhappy. I decided that I was going to put in my best effort to help her holistically. First thing I dis was get her on omega 3 fish oils and increase our intake of fish. Twice weekly at least. I also give her a multi vitamin to make sure she was not suffering from a nutritional deficiency.

The one weird thing I noticed that worked was tae bo, over other forms of workouts. I think the counting while working helped very much. This is much harder to get her to comply with as she gets older. She doesn't wanna... And I am not fighting it.

Lastly I give her a high protein breakfast and a hot cocoa with caffeine in it first thing.

Add she gets older I see that she is growing out of it. I truly believe feeding her brain helped.

NobodyInParticular

Bump.

kr1stadee

Glad to have opened this thread.
My son is 7 (8 in May) and he was diagnosed with ADHD last year. He was started on medication right away. I tried to avoid it, and when he was 5, I took him for an evaluation, the doctor said he was leaning towards the diagnoses, but didn't want to label him at that time. I cut out all food dyes, and it helped a ton, but by the summer, I knew I needed to take it further.

I, personally, struggle. The doctor prescribed him the medication and it was kind of like.. 'ok here you go, see you in a few months' with no suggestions on who I can contact so I know how to deal with this. Most intervention places around me end at age 6.

I looked into the Feingold diet but it's crazy restrictive and we don't have a lot of brands here.

I asked for a referral to a ped, months ago, and I'm still waiting!!

I've read that magnesium helps, I've got the powder, but I don't want to start giving him supplements without looking into a cause. I don't think I'd go the naturalpath direction though

He's behind in reading. Math is great though. His teacher said that he has been 'busy' over the last few weeks. I don't want to up his dose of Concerta yet. He's on the lowest dose, 18mg, once a day, and so far he has had no appetite reduction (he's tall, muscular, low to no body fat as it is, can't afford weight loss lol), and his sleeping is fine, I don't want to screw around with that!!

UGH! I wish that ADHD came with a handbook!

Phoenix_Rising

I knew my daughter was ADHD by the age of 4. I tried behavior modification with a therapist (to channel that hyperactivity into something productive, to learn ways to focus when focus wanes) and that didn't help. I tried changing her diet drastically (Feingold diet). It was HARD and EXPENSIVE but I gave it a go and saw a very slight change, but not enough to deal with our BIG problem. Finally, half way through her 1st grade year, I took her to the doc and she was formally diagnosed and given metadate (generic: Ritalin). We started at 10mg. Not enough. Moved to 20 mg. Not enough. Now we are on 30 mg (nearing the end of her 2nd grade year) and it wears off within a few hours still. Not sure what my next move is. When it's active within her, she is focused and happy (she is a happy child, in general) and productive. When it wears off, she is scattered, can't pay attention, and will sometimes go rogue and defiant. (She also has ODD - oppositional defiance disorder.)

During all this, I have given her Reliv for Kids. It's a nutritional supplement with amazing amounts of vitamins and nutrients. It's a powder (mix the chocolate powder with organic white milk, and VOILA! breakfast!), so less is lost through the body. (Pills don't put out but about 20% or so of their contents in the body before being naturally "evacuated".)

I tried EVERYTHING and read SO MANY BOOKS and spend SO MUCH TIME reading into ways to control and navigate her ADHD without meds, but in the end, the meds work for her (short term.... only a year in, so we are still adjusting doses and will be forever), and my ADHD child is so much happier with her meds. She loves them. She can tell you she can focus better and loves it.

Akumu

My sister has gone through this with her 5 year old boy. Per doctor's suggestions she has cut out wheat (he showed sensitivity) and tries to limit as much processed food as she can. Apparently research shows that all those chemicals are not good for kids (think kid's breakfast cereals, etc.) So now she tries to give him more whole foods and less of the other stuff.

kgoodman0108

I have ADHD, and was not diagnosed until I was 16. I'm now 23. I've tried medications, but they only make matters worse. They make me focus, but create chaos in other aspects. I notice major improvements with eating well - so I applaud you for wanting to help your son the natural way.

Awhile back, I read that food coloring allergies can have major effects on a child's behavior, as well as other sensitivities. Might be something worth reading into.

skafka74

Oh wow. Doctors love to diagnose ADHD and hand out meds like their candy. ADHD is a rule out diagnosis. Since there is no specific test to diagnose ADHD any other possible cause should be ruled out first. For the kids that truly do have ADHD and take medication that works, great! Not all kids originally diagnosed with ADHD will end up with the same diagnosis in the end. My son was diagnosed ADHD when he was 6. Thin for this age and height to begin with, medication turned into a nightmare. He couldn't eat or sleep. He was switched from Ritalin to Adderral (sp) and the results were the same. Strattera didn't work. The stimulants changed his whole personality and turned him into a zombie. His weight dropped and dropped throughout the year. When he wad 7 he weighed 35 pounds so the medication was discontinued. By this time he had 3 diagnoses: ADHD, ODD and Sensory Possessing Disorder. At age 8 he was admitted to adolescent psych for 5 days and then placed in a partial hospitalization program where he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. He was then prescribed Risperdal and did fantastic on it (even though I was vehemently against any medication). He gained weight and for the first time in his life was nit in the underweight category. A At age 11 he was taken off the medication at my request. I didn't want my son on an atypical anti-psychotic while going through puberty. We did see an increase in anxiety and depression as well as some acting out behavior. Not as bad as before, he had learned some coping skills. Before the psychiatrist would take him off the medication he had to explain what he would do in different situations to cope. At 13 the anxiety and depression were worsening and having him put on Prozac and an anti-anxiety medication was discussed. I wanted to try something natural first and went to a health food store. I spoke to a nutritionist and was recommended a combination supplement. The very next day my son told me that this "medicine" helped him more than anything he had ever taken. Not everyone's case is the same and I am in no way suggesting your son has the same problem. My point is ADHD should not be a "front line" diagnosis. The book "Out of Sync Child" was extremely useful to me. A weighted blanket was an amazing thing. Look for alternatives to medication first, there are many. The medication is still there should you decide it's needed and you can be at peace with yourself that you really did try all the alternatives first. Good luck to you on your journey, it's nit an easy one. I'm sure in the end you will decide what is best for your son as no-one can know him better than you.

diadojikohei

My 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with add when she was 5. The meds (4 kinds) didn't work. They made her crazy. And so unhappy. I decided that I was going to put in my best effort to help her holistically. First thing I dis was get her on omega 3 fish oils and increase our intake of fish. Twice weekly at least. I also give her a multi vitamin to make sure she was not suffering from a nutritional deficiency.

The one weird thing I noticed that worked was tae bo, over other forms of workouts. I think the counting while working helped very much. This is much harder to get her to comply with as she gets older. She doesn't wanna... And I am not fighting it.

Lastly I give her a high protein breakfast and a hot cocoa with caffeine in it first thing.

Add she gets older I see that she is growing out of it. I truly believe feeding her brain helped.

This.
I also agree with fish oil. I cut out all artificial sweeteners too. Trampellining, or 'bouncing' helps my son a lot.

Neets086

It is so interesting hearing everyone's stories! Its so hard as not alot of my friends have kids, or have kids that are in this situation. Plus being a single parent makes it all that little more stressful, my parents have been my savior but i don't have them close anymore to help out as much as before.

I had a talk with his teacher this morning, and i am feeling completely deflated. After listening to what she had to say and showing me his work, it was like a big slap in the face *cue my waterworks*

He is good with his reading and writing, ok with maths when i ask him questions (counting) but on his paperwork it is was all over the place, and he has been copying other kids work. He is well behind everyone else and is going down hill, she said that his self esteem has dropped also, he calls himself stupid all the time.

They have to show records that i am trying to comply so that they can put in place extra help needed, which is harsh, like i haven't been trying!! but regardless i am going to put my name on the list to see a pediatrician to see what he can tell me or guide me as what to do, money that i don't have but ill try anything at this stage, if he falls behind now he is going to struggle big time for the rest of the year. They also advised me to take a behavioral management course with him... 2 days a week over 3-8 weeks... i find this difficult as i work full time. Luckily my boss is great about the whole thing and said to call them and we can try work around it, hoping that they do late afternoon sessions or something.

Im guessing both of these have waiting lists aswell, so in the meantime im going to change his diet and bring in the probiotics/vitamins my chiropractor suggested. He is sensitive to wheat and soy apparently... which is basically in every dam thing... i think im going to start making homemade snacks for him and his lunches, then at least ill know whats in them and be able to steer away from nasty additives.

neandermagnon

typical school work can pose serious difficulties for ADHD people. the problem is that to do a typical worksheet or page in a typical school workbook, takes a lot more mental processing than it does for other people. I've given my daughter work from worksheets or workbooks that in terms of the actual maths, reading or intellectual content of the task, she should be able to do it easily. However, she struggles so much with basic things like copying something from one line to another, which most people find easy, that she ends up being unable to do the task without a lot of help from me. And all the help is with the practical things that others find easy, not the intellectual content of the task. I was the same when i was a kid, and it's a really bad combination for killing your motivation, because you have a task that's intellectually too easy and boring, but requires an extreme amount of concentration and mental processing to do the actual task. It's things like copying from one line to another, or tracking from one side of the page to the other (e.g. going from the question in a list on the left, to the correct place to write the answer on the right) - things that people who don't have these disabilities wouldn't dream would be difficult. But they are extremely difficult for us. So on a lot of school work, all your mental processing is used to try to do these practical things that no-one else even finds difficult.... which for some tasks leaves no mental processing space left for the intellectual part of the task. the teacher ends up either thinking you're totally lazy, or that you can't do the intellectual part of the task, when in fact that's the easiest part. For the child, everything is back to front, they struggle with things everyone else finds easy, while the things everyone else finds difficult, they find too easy. That pretty much sums up my entire experience at school. When no-one understands what's going on, it's seen as laziness and lack of effort.

Another thing that makes life difficult is teachers insisting on neat handwriting all the time. I can do neat handwriting, in fact it can be very neat, if the *only* thing I have to concentrate on is neat handwriting. However, as soon as I have to think about something else at the same time, my neat handwriting goes out of the window, and all my mental effort goes onto getting my thoughts on paper (which is a struggle when your mind words at 100 thoughts per minute (very typical of ADHD) and your hand writes at about ten painstaking words per minute) and you also have to think very carefully and put a lot of effort into how to spell the words then on top of that each letter needs to be written correctly and neatly, first time you write it (too many crossings out is frowned upon)..... simple writing tasks become very difficult from a practical point of view, but if you were asked to do the same task orally, you'd give the best answer in the class. Teachers typically see this as being "bright but lazy" and are completely unaware of how much of a struggle it is to get our thoughts down on paper.

What's helped me the most (as an adult) is that I taught myself to touch type at 90 words a minute, plus I have a spell checker, so I can get all my thoughts down, then go back and correct it afterwards. For longer writing tasks like essays, I even use cut and paste to better organise my thoughts and paragraphs, as they don't always come out in a logical order first time around. At university, not only was it acceptable to do all your written work on a word processor, handwritten assignments were frowned upon (though allowed) as being old fashioned. I was doing human sciences so the way we were expected to hand in assignments was how scientific journals expect research to be submitted, and they don't like handwritten work either. Unfortunately, a lot of school teachers see typed work as being "lazy" or as evidence that the child can't really write or whatever. In any case, it's sometimes not easy for a child who struggles with basic literacy to be allowed to use a word processor and be taught to touch type instead of being expected to hand all their work in in obsessively neat handwriting. Schools absolutely should teach handwriting, and kids should learn how to handwrite well, I'm not against that at all, just that they should have equal emphasis on using a word processor, and enable students who struggle with literacy to use a word processor to hand in essays in science, geography, history etc, where the student's intellectual ability could be dragged down by difficulties in getting their thoughts down on paper. Presentation of work is important, hence why teachers insist on neat handwriting, but in today's world, properly presented work is typed, not handwritten 99% of the time.

If you want to show my posts to your son's teacher, please go ahead. This kind of thing is often not covered in teacher training, in spite of the fact that it's common enough for there to be several kids in each year group who suffer specific learning disabilities, and for some of those kids to be twice exceptional. Even when it is covered in teacher training, it barely goes beyond understanding what those conditions are, and not much on how to help children who have them. Unfortunately even when teachers are sympathetic, they often see the only solution as referral to an educational psychologist (or whoever the child would be referred to in the child's country) rather than knowing of practical ways the child could be helped in class. Simple things like allowing the child to complete tasks in a different way (e.g. no copying from a board or another book, breaking a big task down into several smaller tasks, allowing the child to type and print work rather than handwrite, and other small things like that can make a huge difference, with or without a formal diagnosis)

ETA: woah, long post!! I wasn't kidding about typing 90 words per minute and ADHD people thinking at about 100 thoughts a minute or even a lot faster than that....

michellemarie3434

I sincerely hope that OP reads the reply by neandermagnon. As a parent and single mom of an ADHD 13 year old son, I sympathize and empathize with with OP. Neandermagnon is dead on with all of the information she provided, especially regarding the lack of information/education that teachers have about ADHD and other disorders. It IS tough parenting...but you eventually find what works for you and your child.

I have had conversations with my son whenever he is troubled (feeling stupid, bad, etc), about how we all are individual, our bodies and minds have different needs, and this does not make one person better or worse than another. In fact, in our family, we look at the way our minds work as a PLUS, a gift, of being able to process so much at one time. Concentrate on your child's abilities so they walk away feeling just as awesome as they are!

Any parent that is struggling, feel feel to reach out to me. It is a tough road, but so much easier when you find you are not on the road alone.

Neets086

Wow, thank you for taking time out to give me this information, all these factors i never knew to consider.
His teacher this year is Special Ed trained so she sympathizes with our situation, and is going to keep in contact weekly to update me on his progress.

I sat down with him last night as he did homework, then i also asked him to write the numbers 1 to 20 ... and like a minute later he had finished, all correct and perfect, which is completely different to what his teacher showed me yesterday... I'm assuming he feels more comfortable and relaxed at home with me than in a busy classroom. At the moment he is aceing his homework (it is quite basic spelling and reading only) he has 10 words he needs to look at, cover, and write. It is the same words for the whole week so he is going fine that, copying and not needing to look at the words he had written previously. I'm going to ask his teacher to send home some extra things for him to do with me, i want to do more maths and writing in hopes it will build his knowledge and confidence while in class.

I think its starting to show that he has had a bad week, as he even had troubles keeping composed and following instructions at swimming lessons, even more than usual. The chiropractor this morning said it may be some emotion disruption going on as well, like being away from me... which is funny he mentioned as when i drop him off to his daycare mum in the mornings he is quite clingy and takes alot of emphasis in hugging and kissing me goodbye, which is new for him. We are doing food elimination next week, for certain foods i have been giving him for lunch, so hopefully we can see if he is reacting to anything in particular i have been giving him.

I have alot of faith him though, as much as he seems to be struggling in school, when i put him to bed at night we read a rhyming book. It has around 15 rhymes in it, he knows every story word for word.
It's not an easy road, i agree with that statement, i really appreciate all your words. It can all be a little over whelming to take it all in, so thank you again. x

rosiereally2

I haven't read the responses yet, but PLEASE, if you haven't all ready, try removing all foods containing Red Dye #40 from his diet and see if it makes a difference. My son was an absolute nightmare in kindergarten and first grade: inattentive, combative, peevish, and unable to cope. We finally removed the Red Dye 40 (he was eating Doritos every day for lunch!) and we saw a huge improvement. Now, we can tell if he's consumed even a single orange Reese's Pieces. The difference is that stark.

Read ALL labels, even ones you assume are fine. Sneaky red dye can be in not just red foods, but also blue, purple, orange, brown and even golden ones. We've found it in medicine, yogurt, chips, chewing gum, juices, vitamins, iced tea, pies, dinner rolls, and so much more.

I always recommend to parents that they give it 2 weeks, but we were able to see a change in our son within 48 hours. And, at 6-years-old, he was reading his own food labels at school and was alerting the teacher to foods that he couldn't have. He hated the way the dye made him feel.


*** TL;DR: Remove red dye from his diet for 2 weeks and see if it helps.

DoingitWell

bump for later.....