Closed diary's

caribear1984 · March 2013

I can understand the reasons everyone is offering for both keeping it closed and opening it. Personally I have mine closed because what I am doing is working well for me, and I don't want any unsolicited advice about how I should be doing it some other way. Even though those people usually mean to help, it really doesn't. If I get to the point where I need advice, I will open it. But until then it will stay closed.

holly1283 · March 2013

Every so often this comes up and I for the life of me cannot understand why anyone should care about the ones that are closed. Surely you should have enough of your own friends with open diaries to satisfy your curiosity. I am almost 62,have been on different weight loss journeys, turned bulimic when under scrutiny and am doing well now without anyone else critiquing my food diary.

volume77 · March 2013

i keep mine open because i really dont care whether or not you like what im eating lol/. if someone trys to be rude i just delete them. plus i log everything. the good bad and ugly and i think it helps people . i dont know though... some people are embarassed or ashamed if they binge or some thing but i dont know any of you in real life so why would i give a f$%^

aj445 · March 2013

I don't know if mine is open or not. I don't look at other peoples diaries. What they eat really makes no difference to me and won't change what i eat. hell counting my calories doesn't change what I eat lol. I just know how much of it I've eaten haha

RhodRhod · March 2013

Mine has been open from the get go. If anybody feels the need to comment on it then by all means do. I don't know everything yet and probably never will so if they have a better idea fine if they are just looking to be mean fine. I'm 48 years old and my skin is pretty tough.

5ftnFun · March 2013

This topic should be banned. It comes up at least once a week, and you always get the same responses. On one side of the fence are the "it's none of your business what I eat" and on the other side of the fence it's "I have nothing to hide".

I delete any friend who does not have an open diary, not because I want to inspect every element of their progress and critique their food choices, but simply because this is a Fitness site (if you don't believe me look at the name of this site) and if we are "friends" here it is because we share the same aspiration for success. If I can not see what you are doing then I can not support your efforts or your success. What? Why Not? Well here is why..a closed diary statement of "JohnMessmer completed his food and exercise diary for 03/01/2013 and was under his calorie goal." Does not tell you anything useful. Did I eat a piece of cheese all day long and truly believe that success through starvation is the best method? Did I eat with balance and sustainability? Perhaps I don't know that potassium is the natural anti agent to sodium and when you look at my diary and see I eat a lot of processed high sodium food you could tell me that little tid bit of info? Perhaps not, who knows? What I do know is that I have friends on this site so that I can try to support their goals and they can try to support my goals, it is a mutually beneficial friendship by choice. If you can not see what I am eating, or the amount of Exercise I am accomplishing, then you can not help me at all and therefore there is no need for us to be friends on this site.

Now the type of "help" depends on the person and that is where choosing your friends becomes more of a personality choice then a random friend collector. Personally, I prefer honesty and bluntness. No, you don't have to tell me that eating that Double Meal from Wendy's is not good for me, but when I weigh in on Friday and I post that I am dissatisfied with the results for the week...You should tell me that the Double from Wendy's probably did not help matters. I prefer the friends that say what I already know, just try to make excuses for. I prefer friends that will say "Holy ****, Why Did you Eat so much?" not the BS friends that will say "It's ok, we all need a cheat day and tomorrow is a new start", I have had 43 Years of believing "it's only one meal, one day, one bad choice, and all that has gotten me is obese. Now I believe that it all counts, make no excuses and plan for the worst while hoping for the best, get up , get out, and move, and if you are going to have that birthday cake, ice cream, fast food crap that most of us love...then work harder to be able to fit that bad choice into your established goals for the day. This relatively new thinking has led to 94 pounds of weight loss in the past 6 months, I don't know everything and until I do...I will take the sarcasm, criticism, and at the very least listen to advice from anyone who wishes to offer it, simply because they may turn out to be right, or even better yet, they may inadvertently have led me to discover something I had not been aware of.

One last tidbit to think about; why is it that people that have been on this site for Years are generally the people that have no progress bar and a closed diary? For a year and a half, back in 95, I paid for Gym Membership and went to that gym, twice. Having your diary open, putting yourself out on display, being held accountable by others, it is one of the scariest and greatest motivators there are, and once you are ready to make a change and truly hold yourself accountable for what you do, I don't believe there is a viable reason not to have your diary open to your friends. So what if some ask you questions, or insist on telling you that liquor is drinking your calories away, or that your deep fried Oreo cookies are a terrible choice, "if" that is shocking and upsetting for you to hear then you may have bigger issues then your weight.

^^This is great. For YOU. I've been here for years. This is a new accnt because I wanted a new one w/a new name, etc. I don't have a ticker because, aside from 3-4 lbs, I am in maintenance. Don't assume that everyone on MFP is trying to lose weight. Too many assumptions in your post re: other people, so I'll leave it at that.

jeremyw1977 · March 2013

Just a quick observation , I love looking at the success stories . And the one thing that sticks out is 2/3 of the people have closed diary's ? Why is this ? Surely an open diary would help other MFP people ?
Is there a reason why ?

Some people use MFP as a personal tracking tool and think it's nobody else's business what they consume and when?

This.
I use the food diary for my own piece of mind.

In the past, I have had friends who trolled my diary, and then managed to find the one thing to criticize.
I didn't care for it, it made me feel uncomfortable, and it was not helpful at all.

I basically said, "Thanks, I am good enough at beating myself up over my eating decisions (and I don't really eat bad and I under my calorie goal 90% of the time).......I don't need someone else, who I don't know, beating me up too".

BamBam125 · March 2013

I put personal notes about my day in the "note" category. I don't know the MFP users in real life, so naturally I keep those notes (and the entire diary) private as well.

Plus, I doubt my diary would really be helpful to other users. I use it for me, which means I over estimate, I round, I substitute (aka use a database entry from Wendy's when I really made a similar meal from scratch or from a local restaurant that isn't in the database, etc).

Those minor inaccuracies don't bother me a bit, but I don't want total strangers making assumptions about me based on those estimations either.

Marie9301 · March 2013

At the start, I was embarrassed about all the crap (read: chips and alcohol!) I had in it. I log absolutely everything - good bad and awful. It's still not perfect but a work in progress.

CyberEd312 · March 2013

Well for me it is because I am still old school and keep hand journals... I can go back to May 2009 when I started my journey and show you every bit of food and exercise I have done since then but just have a stubborn streak about giving up my journals and I am a Computer nerd (IT networking) so yeah weird I know.... lol.... but Old habits are hard to break...... Best of Luck

professorRAT · March 2013

I see there are lots of reasons. Here is mine. I am in pretty good control of what I eat and I always have been (I have never been particularly overweight and I have a healthy balanced diet; mostly trying to lose vanity pounds at the moment). I am fairly self-motivated and don't require input from others to stay motivated. I like interacting with other people regarding some things, but overall I am kind of an antisocial person. Having my diary open leads to more human interaction than I desire. I also don't have my exercise or diary logs post to my wall for the same reasons. I am weird, I know.

I am happy to offer advice to people when asked, but I don't often give unsolicited advice. So, I actually VERY rarely open another person's diary. It just isn't an important part of how I use MFP.

Not everyone here has the same goals, so it should not be surprising that approaches to using the MFP tools would vary.

SRH7 · March 2013

"I am good enough at beating myself up over my eating decisions (and I don't really eat bad and I under my calorie goal 90% of the time).......I don't need someone else, who I don't know, beating me up too".

:flowerforyou:

Agreed. I feel absolutely no need to make myself accountable to people I know via the Internet about how I eat as it's been a pretty emotive subject for me over the years. I have been much more honest about what I eat and drink since closing my food diary. I know when I've been good and when I've been bad and the last thing I need when I've overeaten/not eaten enough/drunk too much is to have a practical stranger tell me off.

On the other hand, I am completely open about my exercise - as I'm quite happy for people to kick me up the butt if I haven't put the work in that day! I do take the 'Fitness' in MyFitnessPal very seriously!

CCusedtodance · March 2013

Mine is closed, because I have learned (the hard way) that some people feel the need to look for what they perceive as weaknesses in others. Or they flat out do not like someone, that is not one hundred percent following a program (according to "their" standard); especially the longer they know you.

One scenario I can think of: I used to be a member of a well known get out of debt message board. The longer certain members were on the board, the harsher they were with their critique of new or other members choices. This created a lot of anger amongst the members that felt they were being attacked and many of them quit.

My choice to keep my diary closed is a way of preventing negativity or conflict in my life; which is something I know adds to stress.

loved1 · March 2013

Mine is closed because I have no real interest in looking at someone's diet or having mine critique. I know that the 10 lbs of red meat, a jug of red wine & the chocolate cake I had at Fogo de Chao last Saturday was not an ideal meal but I don't need anyone else to tell me that. Even in the forums there are always questions posted about why someone would count _____ as ____ or why people eat this or get so many calories from ______. I don't want to be fodder for that discussion or partake in it. I enjoy this site & it's a place where I am brutally honest with myself in my diary and in the notes section so I think of the diary area as I would a personal diary. During my journey, there may have been times when I was eating certain things for certain reasons that I may not have wanted to reveal at that moment. such as pregnancy.

I follow a fitness site on FB that asked a simple question about what are your favorite healthy snacks. One person posted that she liked low fat jello whereas she used to eat cookies after work. That simple post sparked about 100 other posts w/ links, statistics, etc. debating sugar substitutes and low fat jello. I don't want that type of conflict in this journey.

lorcart · March 2013

Hey I was beat about the head and neck by a stranger on here for eating a cup of RICE....but they didn't seem to have a problem with my whole bottle of WINE! ahahahahahahahaha Kiss my rice eating wine swiggin butt!

darcyinmo · March 2013

Mine was open at one time. Food nazi's helped me close it. Now it's just open to friends. I like the ability to see what my friends are eating for the simple reason it gives me ideas on different combinations to eat. One thing I wish I could do is click on the food item they have to see the nutritional breakdown. Depending on my food for the week, I could go high in carbs or sugar (a common problem I have LOL!) and it would be nice to get ideas on how to lower it without asking in a topic and getting not real specific foods. Plus I'm finding that there are sugars the the most obserd things!
If someone is doing great, and doesn't have their diary open, I just direct message them and explain why I'm specifically interested in what they eat -- to help me along my journey. Usually people are quite open if you let them know you're not there to criticize.

eileen0515 · March 2013

I'm doing great. Why muck it up with opinions of folks, who's nutrition background I don't know? It might change in future, but for now unless someone is a nutritionist, I don't see the point.

REDI4CHANGE60 · March 2013

Too many food nazi's.

So true LOL! I LIVE LOCARB ... THERE I SAID IT!! I keep my diary closed because I don't care for well meaning (tongue in cheek) individuals, who are certain they know so much more about my body and my needs than I or my doctor ever could. Their comments are of little or no value to me ... I do entertain them, then it's off with their heads lol. My diary is private because I eat some odd combinations to get in my protein first, veggies next, then if there is room, some fruit ... no bread or starches or sweets. I use butter, salad dressings, etc., in moderation. The weight is coming off, energy is up and I am feeling great. If anyone is interested, I would provide an outline, but I keep my diary private :-)

StrongAndHealthyMommy · March 2013

for couple months I thought my diary was open and it wasnt

redladywitch · March 2013

My diary is open to my friends. A while back, someone was making suggestions on how I could make improvements. I never asked them for advice. I removed them and their comments.

meaningful99 · March 2013

I find it bizarre that anyone cares whether other people have them open or closed. I keep mine closed because I know myself well enough to know that I would not be as honest if it were open. And an incomplete or less-than-honest diary is worthless to me.

The food diary is an amazingly helpful tool and data set -- so use it in the way that suits you best. If keeping it open keeps you honest, keep it open. If keeping it closed keeps you honest, keep it closed.

dixiewhiskey · March 2013

Just a quick observation , I love looking at the success stories . And the one thing that sticks out is 2/3 of the people have closed diary's ? Why is this ? Surely an open diary would help other MFP people ?
Is there a reason why ?

Some people use MFP as a personal tracking tool and think it's nobody else's business what they consume and when?

Bingo.

My mind is also boggled that people care so much about whether it's opened or closed.. I have friends I have known for years on here and if they have any questions, I am very helpful but I don't need to open it up. Has little to do me being afraid that people perceive I am not doing a.b.c right.. it's none of their biz.

redraidergirl2009 · March 2013

I'm pretty sure if people want others to see they'll leave it open of only open to friends. Worry about your own calories, not everyone elses. I mean, if Jeremy eats a donut does it effect you?

dixiewhiskey · March 2013

I mean, if Jeremy eats a donut does it effect you?

:laugh: :laugh: Well said!

chanahliora · March 2013

My diary is closed because I am not in a place where I feel comfortable opening it. I am still screwing up too much and it embarrasses me. I do look at others and it helps me to see how well they doing. One of my goals is to go public with ti. I just can't for right now. I will get there.

mrsgeneric · March 2013

I had mine open from other people's request and kept it open and kept getting ridiculed over it so now its only open to friends.... Besides i know what i eat and if it goes in mouth it goes in my diary i do not miss an ounce of food!

Monisfit4life · March 2013

If a friend of mine requested it, I would give them the key. That being said some people on MFP can be very cruel and judgmental and for that reason I do not have my diary open. I have heard people complain about being judged by their diaries and I have seen people be cruel on message boards when someone just wants information about products. Sad but true. If someone wants to close the diary then so be it. If you want to know what they did to lose weight send them a message and ask them.