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  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Whats up with all the ****ty piss taking comments!
    Who would of thought asking a simply reasonable question would generate such ****ty comments.
    I do hope you guys taking the piss ,when you need to seek advice you to get the same response!
    There,s a saying that springs to mind,If you haven,t got anything nice to say don,t say anything at all!

    Simmer down...
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    You are too young to realize this, but the "situation" with P is not as innocent as you think, and that's why you expected to feel guilty about it. You have a history with the other guy, who is showing interest in you again, so that complicates things, but I'll tell you what my sister told me when I was going back and forth on whether or not a guy who was showing interest in me wanted to be friends or something more: two single people who find each other attractive are never just friends. It is going to cross both of your minds, at some point, that there is romantic interest. You'll either deal with it like adults or continue to ignore it until you both do something really stupid.

    If you didn't have some non-platonic feelings for P, you would never have mentioned him at all, and, more to the point, you would never have considered that you NEEDED to tell C about him asking you out for a drink. The two of you broke off your engagement. It is not any of his business anymore who you see or don't see, and it almost seems like you WANT to tell him that this "friend" of yours wants to buy you a drink just so you can stir the pot.

    And the big break-up between you and C? That happened because the two of you didn't really want to get married, and you let the tension build up until you created a completely dysfunctional relationship. This is why 19-year-olds shouldn't even be considering marriage. Go have a non-alcoholic drink with your friend P, and stop having any contact with C until you have reached the mental and emotional milestone of not caring at all what he thinks about who you spend time with.
  • jennmodugno
    jennmodugno Posts: 363 Member
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    I got married when I was 19. I'm 26 now, and after nearly a divorce and a bad in-between guy, let me give you a little advice.

    Guys say what we want to hear. I found out the hard way that men will say anything to get what they want out of us, and it takes years to find out the truth sometimes. So whatever you do, take it slow. Very slow. You broke off the engagement once. If you decide to see C again, and you decide you want to be with him, tell him the wedding is STILL off, and you're not going to be ready to get married for at least another year. A year is probably long enough to see if he's really going to change, and even then don't agree until you've worked everything out. A man who is controlling now will be even more so when you're married, and you have to decide if you can handle that, and if you want to have your child around that sort of thing. Children pick up what their parents do, and since you already have one, you have to decide if C is the right role model.

    Honestly? Go have that drink with P if you want to. If C gets upset, well, maybe that's your answer. If he can't let you see a friend when he's trying to get you back, he sure as heck won't when you're together.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    Whats up with all the ****ty piss taking comments!
    Who would of thought asking a simply reasonable question would generate such ****ty comments.
    I do hope you guys taking the piss ,when you need to seek advice you to get the same response!
    There,s a saying that springs to mind,If you haven,t got anything nice to say don,t say anything at all!

    Your comment is the only piss taking (wtf?) comment I see.
  • Destanie_Robyn
    Destanie_Robyn Posts: 304 Member
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    I agree with a lot of the posts here - Don't rush into any new relationship, but if P is just a friend then I'd say go have a drink! Its your birthday and it sounds like he can relay some of his own advice through his past experiences. I would defiantly be wary and take it slow with C - men .. and most people for that matter, don't change, if your afraid of C finding out than I think that's a good sign that fights are always going to come if you get back together with him. Of all my past relationships I only wish I had gotten out sooner to spare me the pain of waiting too long. Don't make the same mistake twice.. because it will be much more painful the next time for you and your son as he gets more attached
  • rubixcyoob
    rubixcyoob Posts: 395
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    To everyone who commeneted thank you.

    To those implying if I was asking whether I should be with someone or not, you are wrong. I was asking: A) if people had been in a situation like mine, or similar to mine, what they had done in terms of getting back with an ex; and b) if not, what would people do if they were in a situation like that.

    The reason being wasn't to tell me what to do, but to shed another prespective on something that had greatly confused me over and over - whether to meet C and whether to try again. My head was a jumbled mess. He was my best friend for two years and now he's gone - I would normally talk to him about confusing events, now I can't. I needed to a) get it out and lay the facts down to help organise my own thoughts and b) have more than my own view on the situation from unbiased people I would never really encounter elsewhere.

    Also, my reitterating P was a friend wasn't to try and tell myself he was. He is a friend. I guess I was just in the mindset of justifying such actions as that is what I had to do with C and it was what I was used to.

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