Don't hate me because I'm losing weight.....
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There was one point when I was down to 165 from 217. Even at 217, I was one of the smaller ladies in the office. When I got down to 165, they were saying things like, "Woah, you're going to blow away in the wind!" or "Are you feeling ok? You've been looking really thin lately." (Come on, I was 165... still overweight for me.)0
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I actually love it when girls start hating on me when I lose weight
I love it too
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They are hating you so they don't have to hate themselves. And I doubt it rises to the level of actual hate -- it's way of expressing envy.
Having said that, I am very lucky that I have no people like this in my life (and...that's been many deliberate choices over the years to have it this way!). I have one friend who very jokingly "hates" everything good that happens to everyone (but always follows it with, "Seriously -- congratulations!").0 -
Has anyone else had a similar experience.
It really isn't hate towards you. You are just a scapegoat for the hate they have for tehmselves not being able to work that hard and commit to a better lifestyle. I get it sometimes, but mostly as jokes and such.
Funny thing though, this morning I was talking to a few friends from the IT department I used to work in. I have invited all of them to join in my fitness challenges and mile challenges but no one has ever taken me up. Boy, they are all looking stressed, overweight, and getting sick often. Anyway, one guy I don't know very well mentioned that he saw a few email and heard me talking to others about all of it and he has already lost almost 30 pounds with some basic changes like I suggested. I was super proud that even indirectly I was able to help.
So the thing is, with your new found confidence and healthy lifestyle, don't get bitter. Don't hate back or remove them from your life. Kill htem with kindness and help them understand they can achieve what you have. Support them and see who might be the next 'you' in the office that everyone is hating on! Start the trend!0 -
Well, I don't have the problem of working in an office full of ladies (work remotely from home...) but I did have someone I know ask me the other day if I was on any special diet, from the sound of it, she was hoping for a quick fix. I told her it's the common sense diet. Eat what you want in moderation, and work out, a lot. She got that disappointed look on her face. But what can ya do? People are always going to be jealous when they see you achieving what they want for themselves.0
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I am glad to see that I am not the only one getting this reaction. I haven't let it stop me or even slow me down, and in my heart I wish that everyone would try what I am doing just so they can feel as great as I do now. I started at almost 250 lbs and I am nowhere near my goal but I feel so much better already.
I really wish them the best of luck and I know that no one will start until they reach that breaking point, until then they just complain about it.
Hating is such a waste of energy.
I want to say to everyone here....No matter what anyone else says or does....you are amazing! Keep up the great work0 -
I have one friend who is morbidly obese and she LOVES to tell me that I am doing this all wrong! It is so hard not to laugh.0
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On Friday they left a half eaten cake next to my desk (which is close to the little break room area) so Saturday and Sunday it sat there untouched because I wasn't going to eat it and by Monday they were angry at me because I "let it go to waste." I was absolutely astounded.
That there is some crazy ****. I'm glad the people I work with don't notice or care what I'm eating.
I do get the "It's so unfair! You've lost weight. I hate you" crap from a few people outside of work, including my mom. I just say, "I haven't done anything that everyone else in the world can't do." It's true. Every single person has the means and the ability to lose weight. If they choose not to, that's they're business, but don't tell me I've accomplished this easily. That's like my 'friend' who once told me that I was '"lucky" that I have a graduate degree. I didn't win it in the lottery!!0 -
I can relate.
At my last job there were tons of miserable, overweight, stressed women.
So, did they want to start a weight-watchers group or do aerobics together?
Hell no.
But they'd hold bi-weekly greasy potlucks and monthly 'birthday' celebrations, where everyone was required to attend—and if you refused a piece of 'cake' or whatever other horrible treat was being offered, people would act seriously butt hurt over it on a personal level.
It was a toxic environment: and toxic people thrived there. Over-eaters under the guise of 'motherly-love' would use every excuse to bring cupcakes, ice-cream and fudge-bars in. You couldn't walk from your desk to the bathroom without passing a tray of snacks or box of krispy kremes. Ri-dic-ulous.
Eventually a few of us health-concious girls made a stand—declaring ourselves pre-diabetic or sugar free. Only if you had a serious medical condition would they leave you alone—and then, you would still catch attitude from them.
I think this is just ugly human nature at it's core. My husband said he had a similar work environment once where the owner was a functional alcoholic, and he would play favorites with anyone who would go 'drink' with him.
It's sad. But you can't let toxic people or workplaces bring you down.0 -
sounds like she was trying to give you a compliment, Dont be so quick to get offended0
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It's jealousy and they see you as a threat. Take it as a compliment because you are doing something they secretly want to, but won't, because like everyone else said, it is work and doesn't come easy.
Like every other aspect in life, people want everything handed to them and they can't stand when others succeed when they are not.
Congratulations on your hard work and continue to be an inspiration!!!!0 -
Actually another friend has told me that one of my good friends made the comment, "She's not going to be able to keep up with that!" - apparently she means the eating right and exercising?
She will also make comments if I say something about having to lose a few more pounds because my BMI is in the overweight category, "Those charts are way too high, you look great". Almost like she does not want me to succeed or something? I'm sure she is in the overweight category because she is about the size I was before I started MFP and I was just a few pounds away from obese.
I never confronted her about saying I won't be able to keep up with it, I'm just going to silently prove her wrong. She seemed almost elated when I actually had recently gained over #10 - shakes my head!0 -
With a few people, I noticed that while I was still bigger than them, I received lots of compliments about how much weight I had lost. After I had gotten smaller than them (and in better shape), the compliments stopped. I think it is apparent to them now that hard work and dedication to diet and exercise are the key. Those same folks also criticize my low carb approach when I'm out of earshot. Hey, to each their own, I've never tried to push it on anyone else but it has worked for me.
I've found that the people who truly care about you will be the most gracious in their response.
This happened to me. When I first started working at my place of employment, I was bigger than the other admin I work with. When I first started losing weight, it was slow and hardly noticeable, but she was always very encouraging, saying how she could tell I was losing wieght, but then I got smaller than her and suddenly no more encouraging words, she no longer wanted to hear about any of my successes.0 -
Nobody ever believes me when I tell them I lost 100+ lbs solely through diet and exercise. Some people think I'm flat out lying, and others will say something like "Well yeah, but what did you take? You at least took a pill or did shakes or something, right?"
The truth is, you can't make people believe something they don't want to believe. And most people don't want to believe that there is no shortcut or magic pill. Frankly, I was relieved when my mom lost 50 lbs through just dieting and exercising because that proved to me that I COULD do it on my own, and that I didn't need any special pill or diet or surgery.0 -
Aren't people strange? Rise above and keep steady on your path. I am almost 10 years post a dramatic year of weight loss, and I had a similar experience. I learned who my friends were and weren't. 10 years later, I still have people come to me apologizing for treating me the way they did. (I was bullied to the point of having to change roles at work). You know something? Even though it took me forever to get comfortable in my own skin, I did get used to it....and settled happily into the new job (same employer). Surround yourself with people who will support you, and be gracious and rise above those who don't. Many have come to me asking me to show them how I did it, and have come back as friends after all, after a little more life experience.0
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I had different experience..
my mother was always telling me how beautiful i was...
and now she said : " YOU LOOKED LIKE A MOUNTAIN.."0 -
YOU LOOK AWESOME!
ENJOY IT!
DONT LET THOSE *****ES UPSET YOU!0 -
Oh yeah, I get that "hate" from people. Backhanded compliments... although they never feel good...
My favorite though are my friends & family who won't acknowledge my weight loss. At all. And yes, I think they notice.0 -
Yes I get a lot of that from one person and a little of it from a few others.0
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ALL.THE.TIME.
It's frustrating, but I know that I motivate them to move their butts more too. Nobody in my office went to the gym regularly and now 4 of them are active during the week. It's rewarding - just remember you know that you're dedicated and your body shows it. Jealousy is one of the biggest forms of flattery. Take it and smile 0 -
Honestly, I would relish that kind of attention almost more than compliments, because it proves they're extremely jealous of you. It can seem hurtful (especially from your Mom), but just realize that they WISH they could achieve what you have, BUT they're not willing or ready to put in the effort you have!
Just try not to go fishing for compliments and recognition in those types of situations, you're just going to get grief. That's why you're here, so we can tell you how awesome you are for doing this 0 -
At my work i get the "losing weight is so easy for you" stuff.
WTH, in reality I want to eat all the doughnuts and chocolate I can like the rest of the office. I just say "no" but its a fight. There is nothing easy about it.
Keep making them jealous!0 -
You are right, they are hating because they are jelous. All you can do is take that as a compliment. And, hopefully they will come to you for advice. (sounds like the one lady wanted advice from you) Keep trecking girl! You look great!!!0
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Haters gonna hate.
People are much more comfortable being overweight when everyone else around them are the same.
2/3 of adult Americans are overweight or obese. This group acceptance of everyone being fat is now sustaining our overweight nation.
Good to see you are willing to break away.0 -
Send a memo round inviting them to a lunch break boot camp session or brisk walk and see how many of them take you up on it! You're doing great, don't be put off by them.0
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Time, you took the time to lose the weight...Nobody ever believes me when I tell them I lost 100+ lbs solely through diet and exercise. Some people think I'm flat out lying, and others will say something like "Well yeah, but what did you take?0 -
You should have said thanks, "have they gotten fatter or just wearing smaller clothes?"0
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I think it's more that they hate themselves for not trying until they succeeded. You're just a physical reminder of the things they dislike about themselves. They like being able to believe that fitness is for other people - not normal people like them. When you went off and showed them that normal people are able to lose weight and be fit, you knocked out at least 1 excuse (probably more) as to why they are where they are.
This. All of this.0 -
i had my friend who is 8 stone turn around to me after i lost 2 stone very quickly n go wow your gonna be competition now uv lost loads of weight. i was in shock i couldnt belive someone could compliment me but insult me at the same time lol0
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I am jealous of Anna Kornikova's body. I am sure she works out way more than me to get there and I am not mad at her for it.0
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