Sabotage -- Why You No Like Me?

pinkcloudrising

I read the title somewhere and it is so funny to me. So describes where I am right now.

I'm still here. It's been about a month and I'm sticking with it. Very happy with myself for that.

Have had a few days where I stayed under my caloric count and ate what was on my food plan but mostly have been eating over. Substituting is a huge problem for me and I need to quit it. It is sabotage and I know it but do it anyway. I always plan delicious and nutritious and filling meals but for some reason I will not stick with what I have committed. I want this. I want it so bad.

This week has been so bad. I am not sure what happened because I went to my nutritionist last week and was so pumped and feeling motivated but shortly there after, I just lost it and started eating everything that wasn't bolted down or didn't run away. I ended up last night at 1500+ over what would bring me to my goal. That was shocking to me and very sad. I think, hope it was what I needed to see in order to get it together. So far today I have eaten the food I committed for breakfast and lunch. That is a gift.

The positive thing is I am sticking with it. I am logging my food each day no matter. If I miss a day I go back and log it the next day or so. I've never went more than two days before logging back on and posting what I've eaten. That really does help me to manage what my head tells me about what I am doing and what I should be doing. I actually measured my snack today. I hate weighing and measuring. It feels so ugh, like I'm not capable to eating a normal amount of food on my own.