Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Reza151

I feel repulsed and disgusted. During the day, Im so proud of my self control. So happy that I am able to eat only when truly hungry and that if I DO feel the urge to eat when hungry, i just grab cabbage or a carrot.

And then I lose it at night and feel awful, physically and mentally.

Last night, I got to thinking of my ex (he broke up with me about 2 or 3 weeks ago and Im still not over it) and I binged hard, felt regretful and went to bed with a stuffed tummy. Nonetheless, in some sort of stupor I managed to devour ice cream around midnight and did it so mechanically that i didnt realize what i had done till i was in bed again.

Today, I took a warm bath and felt renewed and ready to start afresh. I did great! Until my landlady cooked some authentic chinese food...I sat down and saw the 5-6 different plates and was determined to just have a bit of each. But she kept nudging me, saying "You can eat more! Have more! We have detox tea. that's how Im so skinny!" I wanted to leave the table but we had guests and I didn't want to be rude. But I was bored and anxious about work so I kept going and going and now I wish I could throw up, to feel lighter and t to relieve the pressure in my stomach. (though i know that you just lose water weight).

haley255

It' okay! We all have bad days. Eating at night is a real habit.. and once you get your body used to realizing that you don't need it, you'll feel a lot better!

retiree2006

Nothing you can do about what's already done. But you do have tomorrow to begin again, so forgive yourself and get back to it.

I know my biggest problem has always been mindless evening "grazing" after eating a full dinner. Just habit and one that I have to be conscientious to try and break. A cup of hot tea in the evening seems to help a bit and I'm trying to make that my new habit.

You're worth it, so forgive and learn from it.

volvo03

Hello,
I find that if you keep beating yourself up you will keep bingeing. (Not sure if i spelled that right.) I am a big emotional eater. I find put it behind you and push forward.
I have not been on here long but am finding posting what I eat and keep track is keeping me focused.
I hope you have a better rest of the week and stop beating yourself up. No one is perfect!!

yocupcake

People think they are being nice when they force food on you but its just the opposite really. I just broke the eating great during the day then really screwing it up at night habit. My nutritionist told me I needed more good fat so I'm eating peanut butter & it works great. Also I realized I didn't really want or need to munch out at night because it was all in my head that I needed it & deserved it. Wrong. Emotional eating was making me so big. Food is only fuel for your body. I saw a quote on Pinterest that really got my attention "don't load your body with garbage - it is not a trash can". Good luck...sending u positive vibes.

scarrie2

oh my goodness! this is my night 5 out of 7 days a week! Last night was a prime example. First, I do fine all day at work, with what I have brought. I am screwed if someone brings in a treat, danishes donuts, etc. And at night, when I get home, my husband eats whatever and so do my kids, so i join in. I am fine if it is not emotionally triggered, otherwise I am screwed. I yo-yo eat. One day I'm good, one day I'm bad. It never ends. vicious cycle. totally feel your pain. I am a binge eater without the purging. It's awful. if it wasn't for exercise, I would probably be 50 lbs heavier.

anon189

My biggest problem has been evening snacking. We put our daughter to bed around 7 or 7:30 then around 8 when we sit down to watch tv and hang out I just want to snack soooo bad!! Even when I'm not hungry at all. The worst part is my husband loves snacking too and if we don't have anything in the house he'll go to the store to get chips or something. I have zero self control when it comes to junk food. If I start eating it I just keep eating it until I feel sick. It really is a habit though! Now what I do is try to save a few hundred calories for after dinner. That way if I actually am hungry I can have something, but if not that's even better! And we have NO junk food in the house anymore. The only real snack food other than fruit, veggies, and low fat cheese sticks we have is one box of cheez its. My cabinets are bare but it helps me not get the urge to snack so much if I have nothing to snack on. Also something I used to do was have a hot cup of green tea every evening. The hot liquid helps you feel full and it's sooo good for you! I haven't gotten back into that habit yet, but you should try to find something like that to trick yourself into thinking you're eating. Other things that help are sipping water and eating the ice, chewing gum, brushing your teeth (funny, but I never seem to want to eat with freshly brushed teeth!), teeth whitening (again, sounds weird but you can't eat with the strips/trays on and then after I don't want to eat or drink anything but water because I don't want to ruin the whitening) and things like that.

Reza151

thanks for the support everyone. i like the teeth whitening idea!

The problem is, even when im full with a tummy ache, i still want to eat. So filling myself up on tea and water hasnt been helping. Believe me, Ive had at least 13 to 14 cups of water today (well, water, tea, and coffee combined. )

wllwsmmr

Hey! I am going through the exact same problem and I know how crippling it feels ): It is just intentionally self-sabotaging oneself!!
I have also tried every tip I can find (brushing my teeth, doing my nails and other stuff, drinking water, going for a walk, talking to a friend, eating protein, eating more in the day, trying to sleep with meds, having cucumbers and carrots instead) and all didn't work. It is all mental. I just want it. It is a habit and it is so hard to break.
Thing is, I struggle with overeating too so for now overeating is improving but binging is still there. I'm learning to take it one step at a time. If I really binge at night then so be it! Don't kill myself over it. Just make sure the binges get smaller, or are more controlled and healthier stuff! And I constantly remind myself: Do I want this? Do I need this? Why am I doing this? Can't I practice moderation? Don't I wanna lose weight? Don't I wanna be free of the binging demon? etc everything that helps you. And yes last night's binge got pretty bad, but I'm moving on from it!! What's done is done!! You can only look to being better the next day!

You really have to fight for it! Know that you want it badly and that you are worth it. Not having junk at home, thinking about saving money, and being with people more is helping my binging. I also keep reading stuff in mfp forum! ALSO, is there anything else you are interested in learning and obsessing over besides food? I am currently picking up knitting and looking to knit a scarf so I'm focussed on something else! I am highly obsessive over calories, food, exercise etc so I know how sucky it feels, and am trying to learn to focus more on other things on life and staying positive!

jamiek917

its a process... i am overcoming being a frequent binge social or stress eater- i would undo all of my hard work by grazing on likely 2-3K extra cals at luncheons and parties- or by eating copious amounts of pointless carbs while working long hours.

its hard to overcome. my best advice, which has been helping me immensly - TRACK AS YOU EAT. not after. as its happening. and if you arent home to weigh things- estimate as accurately and honestly as you can. seeing the numbers puts it into perspective about how much is really going into your mouth.

pinkcloudrising

I'm a recovering night eater. It is one of the manifestations of both my eating disorder and of depression. I find that I eat at night when I am physically tired. I have noticed lately that when I eat late at night, especially after midnight it always junk food.

I have gotten better over the years. There are fewer episodes of the night eating for me than in the past. I had a period recently where I was eating at night and discussed it with my nutritionist. I tracked it and found that the thing that precedes it is always my feeling sleepy and tired. I have even made the choice to eat rather than going to bed. One solutions she has for me is to get in the bed at a certain time each night and to get up at a certain time each morning. I made the commitment to do that but haven't been really successful so far. I still stay up later than I meant to and get up later than I intended. What that does is that I end up having breakfast later in the day -- real close to the traditional lunch hours -- and that puts my meal schedule off. On top of it all, my job requires me to be out a lot in the evening and that isn't conducive to keeping a meal schedule. Sometimes I don't get home until 9:00pm and still have a couple, three, four hours of work to do so you see, it is a recipe for overeating. I stay willing to do things that like having foods in the house that are easy to prepare, taking food with me that I can eat on the road. That has helped over the past two weeks.

I cannot say it enough...this is a process. It is about progress and not perfection. If you eat on your meal plan during the day, give yourself credit for doing that. As other posters have said, you have to not beating yourself up for not being perfect. That just perpetuates the overeating, gives you an excuse to overeat. You feel bad and so you eat to take away the bad feeling and then you've already overeaten so you say **** it and eat some more and before you know it you are so far into the food that when you do come out of it, you feel so horrible and bad that you just continue eating.

My therapist gave me a tool that works for me a lot of times in situations when I want to overeat: I say to the hunger, "I see you there and I wonder what you want." I've tried that dialogue and it is surprising what comes up.

You are finding what works for you and what doesn't. Night eating doesn't work. So you have to not do it. No matter what. Believe it or not, it will only take you three days to stop that habit. The first day and the third day are the hardest. If you can just get through those two then you will find that you have broken that habit.

I heard someone describe having an eating disorder as having a ravenously hungry tiger in a cage and having to take him out and feed him every day and then put him back in before he maims or kills you. For some time now, I haven't been able to get the tiger back in the cage without a struggle and without scratches and bruises. But I'm willing. Willing to keep at it. Willing to keep finding a way. Willing to keep making friends with my tiger so that one day soon, I'll be able to take it out of the cage, feed it enough of the kinds off foods it loves and enough food to nourish it and it will willingly go back into the cage until next meal.

MissNordicLight

bump
Need to save this, thank you to all posters.

dcazll

Amazing advice on this thread.

I'm a night binge eater too. Last night was one of those nights. This morning I'm sitting here feeling sorry for my self wondering should I just give up, but the advice on here has helped. Thank you

Lulzaroonie

Everyone has times when they're fed up with their eating habits, whether it's eating at night, or eating more of a portion than they should, or eating a whole cake.
It's disheartening.
The best thing you can do it to let it pass over you and do your thing.

Personally, by the next day, I know I'll be pooping it out (gross, I know, I'm sorry!) so it's a clean slate...

jljshoe1979

And then I lose it at night and feel awful, physically and mentally.

Last night, I got to thinking of my ex (he broke up with me about 2 or 3 weeks ago and Im still not over it) and I binged hard, felt regretful and went to bed with a stuffed tummy.

I wanted to leave the table but we had guests and I didn't want to be rude. But I was bored and anxious about work so I kept going and going and now I wish I could throw up, to feel lighter and t to relieve the pressure in my stomach. (though i know that you just lose water weight).

Have you tried journaling about your feelings before/while you eat? It doesn't have to be fancy or long, but maybe put some pen and paper with the food you tend to turn to, grab it when you grab the food...write whatever you are feeling (you can burn or tear it up when you are done).