Am I in the wrong? WARNING: RANT/VENT

2»

Replies

  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Yeah, you are. Your sister is 19 and is fully capable of making her own decisions. If she didn't want to get on the sled, she didn't have to. Nobody put a gun to her head and forced her to. I know you're protective over your only sister, but you can't keep jumping between them everytime something happens that you don't like. Going over to the house in a fit of rage (with intentions to fight the dude, it seems) is a little too excessive. Imagine all the trouble this could cause when they get married.

    I'm pretty much in this boat. While I commend you for being a caring and concerned brother, the fact is that she's engaged to the douche and is old enough to make her own decisions. Imagine what it must be like for her, she's starry eyed for this guy who she loves enough to marry and trusts enough to get on a snowmobile with and when something goes awry she can't even call her family because instead of checking in on her and making sure that she's okay all they'll do is (rightfully maybe) blame him and start arguments between people she loves. You need to be just as concerned for her wellbeing as you seem to be. Sometimes the best way to love a person is not by loving their decisions, but being there for them when their decisions obviously fail them in the long term.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    i dont think ur over reacting at all. he sounds like an immature little *kitten*, and unfortunately at 19 people are very naive especially girls and if she had a condition that worsens it she may not be seeing him for the real "HIM" and may not be able to recognize the dangers he is putting her in. Would it be possible to ask her to wait a bit before they get married, maybe give it another year so she and your family can really get to know him and if he's right for her or not?

    sounds like she is way too young, he is way too immature, and the last thing you want is to lose your sister to some idiot.
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
    My sister is 19...I would have probably decked her boyfriend. Not necessarily for the accident, but for the way he handled it when you texted him. Going 90 on a snowmobile, he could have killed her. A lack of brains is sad.

    His issue with guns/bows are a prime example of someone that shouldn't own them. He sounds like a hothead.

    As far as your sister, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. Be supportive...give an opinion, give your own experiences, but she has to make the decisions herself. ...to an extent. If he gets to a point where he harms her (not talking about a sledding accident), then ya...that's grounds to get involved in my opinion.
  • jenns1964
    jenns1964 Posts: 384 Member
    You are right to worry. I hope she comes to her senses and gets out of the relationship fast!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Yeah, you are. Your sister is 19 and is fully capable of making her own decisions. If she didn't want to get on the sled, she didn't have to. Nobody put a gun to her head and forced her to. I know you're protective over your only sister, but you can't keep jumping between them everytime something happens that you don't like. Going over to the house in a fit of rage (with intentions to fight the dude, it seems) is a little too excessive. Imagine all the trouble this could cause when they get married.

    I'm pretty much in this boat. While I commend you for being a caring and concerned brother, the fact is that she's engaged to the douche and is old enough to make her own decisions. Imagine what it must be like for her, she's starry eyed for this guy who she loves enough to marry and trusts enough to get on a snowmobile with and when something goes awry she can't even call her family because instead of checking in on her and making sure that she's okay all they'll do is (rightfully maybe) blame him and start arguments between people she loves. You need to be just as concerned for her wellbeing as you seem to be. Sometimes the best way to love a person is not by loving their decisions, but being there for them when their decisions obviously fail them in the long term.

    ^^ This. Being the angry brother to the idiot fiance isn't going to help. Seriously, you clearly mean well but take it from a 40 year old guy who was once the angry, protective guy. It doesn't work. Be there for your sister, but be the calm and rational one. You will be much more effective in the long run.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
    "2 I hardly know this guy and don't trust him AT ALL."

    "I know the guy because he went to highschool with me"

    ?????

    you took the thoughts right out of my head.

    Personally it's not going to help the situation getting pissed over it all. your sister is going to do what she wants. all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. She'll ask you, no worries. Just stand by.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    I can understand your concern...this guy sounds like a major asshat! Where is Mom and Dad in all this? Not that anyone can do much good is this situation. Other than having a man to man, face to face chat with this guy there's not much you can do...your sister is old enough to make her own decisions no matter how poor they may be. Best of luck to you and your family :flowerforyou:
  • actingnurse1
    actingnurse1 Posts: 153 Member
    Break his other wrist. I would.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member


    Personally it's not going to help the situation getting pissed over it all. your sister is going to do what she wants. all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. She'll ask you, no worries. Just stand by.

    ^This.

    Be a brother when she needs you, which will probably be soon enough. Now, if it gets physical or you feel he's threatening her, then throw that out and intervene as best as you can.

    But for now, love her and be a good example. I really hope she comes to her senses before May.
  • bannedword
    bannedword Posts: 299 Member
    Dude.

    You overreacted.

    She might be your only sister. I assume she is his only fiancee.

    If my brother meddled like that in my life, I'd be so pissed.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    I would be concerned for sure.He seems quite unstable and reckless, but there honestly isn't that much you can do about it. Unfortunately the decisions are her own...you can be angry all you want, but you can't stop her from having a relationship with him.
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
    I say not an overreaction. I ride a motorcycle, and when I first started dating my wife, we went for a few rides. Of course her family was apprehensive. I do ride completely different when carrying a passenger (not really any different than being on a snowmobile) because I am then responsible for the safety of my passenger. Just as the fiancé SHOULD have been and clearly wasn't. He needs to about the injury he could cause to another person. I see the same thing happen to motorcycle riders. They get a girl on the back and just have to show off, just as the fiancé was doing when they crashed.

    That being said, you can't control another adult. She'll see and do as she pleases, and any attempt to discourage activities or relationships will just drive a wedge between you and your sister.

    JM
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    You handled this the way any brother would. And honestly I'd be right there with you. This guy doesn't only sound like a tool, but he seems to have anger issues and doesn't know how to handle situations properly. I don't know what you should do, but if it were me, I'd have a loooong sit down with my sister.
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
    I dont think ots overreacting when you want to protect yoir sister.
    from what you said, neither of them sound very mature.
  • Brianna716
    Brianna716 Posts: 303 Member
    I used to race snowmobiles and considered myself a very good and safe driver... until I rolled my snowmobile. Yes, he was being an idiot but even if he was the safest driver in the world he could have crashed.

    What you should focus on is knocking some sense into your sister. She needs to be able to make smart decisions and stand up for herself. You can spend your life yelling at guys that put her in dangerous situations or you can help her stay out of those situations in the first place.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    wonder what the reaction will the fiance gives her a dirty sanchez....
  • KissMyAx
    KissMyAx Posts: 129 Member
    This story is so very close to what I went thru with an ex boyfriend of mine. Almost exact! (Snowmobiling over a lake, I was the passenger, and he decided to "open it up" to see what power it had and catch up to everyone else, hit a patch of snow/ice build up at 90mph, and I was thrown off)

    I'm not sure if you are her only brother or not, but if it were me, I would be paying this POS an unexpected visit with everyone and instill some FEAR into him! He obviously has no regard for your sister's well being even AFTER you told him to be careful with your only sister (total slap in your face), and continued to drive recklessly with her on the back causing her to be hospitalized with a broken collar bone. They are both lucky to be alive!

    Since when does a RESPONSIBLE driver, drive with a passenger at 90MPH?!

    I would be so pissed!

Categories