family...not supportive

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hey guys. my name is Sierra (: heres a little about me:
im an 18 year old freshman in college, i live in the dorms and go home (to my 7 siblings, 2 nieces, and parents) usually every other weekend. now, my problem is, when i go home my family is running around everywhere in separate directions and so my parents take the fast-food approach to dinner.

now, there should be a simple answer to my predicament: Don't eat the fast food my parents bring home. right? well, i am a recovering anorexic (surprising from my picture, i know.) and my mom thinks I'm still not eating as much as i should. so if i don't eat the food they bring back to the house for dinner, my mom gets very upset and threatens sending me back to counseling.

i need some ideas... any of my friends that i have on here know that i eat around 1200 a day (not the net calorie intake, how much i eat. i don't believe i need to eat back the calories i burnt off with exercise) so i am NOT starving myself. but how do i go home and not completely ruin my diet that i have worked so hard to stick with here at school?
thanks guys (:
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Replies

  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    It sounds like you have a complicated issue on your hands.

    I would suggest having a meeting with your nutritionist and your mom - so you can discuss a meal plan that will be good for you and will help your mom worry less.
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    You could always take her up on that, then drag her to the counseling session with you. Then, with a third party present, explain in a rational manner why you want to eat more food, but you don't want to eat take out. It may be the easiest solution.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    they are not being unsupportive. They are just eating the way they normally eat with that many people in the household it's got to be very hard to come up with a special meal plan for every individual that wants to do something different. I say go ahead and eat the food. eating a little extra food every other weekend will only help your metabolism. 1200 calories per day is actually probably too low for you
  • sierra_12
    sierra_12 Posts: 249 Member
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    i have slowly been able to eat more calories. 1200 per day is about 1000 more than i was eating this summer. and over christmas break when we had pizza for lunch and KFC for dinner one day, then McDonalds for lunch and A&W for dinner then next, etc. for 3 weeks, i gained about 4 pounds back, even though i burnt about 1000 calories a day. when i don't eat fast food at all when I'm at school, eating it when I'm home makes me feel horrible
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    i have slowly been able to eat more calories. 1200 per day is about 1000 more than i was eating this summer. and over christmas break when we had pizza for lunch and KFC for dinner one day, then McDonalds for lunch and A&W for dinner then next, etc. for 3 weeks, i gained about 4 pounds back, even though i burnt about 1000 calories a day. when i don't eat fast food at all when I'm at school, eating it when I'm home makes me feel horrible

    I'm no expert, but if you were restricting that much over the summer, you should probably still be talking to someone to make sure your recovery goes smoothly.

    Which brings me back to my original point.....have a meeting with your mom and your counselor/nutritionist.
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
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    i have slowly been able to eat more calories. 1200 per day is about 1000 more than i was eating this summer. and over christmas break when we had pizza for lunch and KFC for dinner one day, then McDonalds for lunch and A&W for dinner then next, etc. for 3 weeks, i gained about 4 pounds back, even though i burnt about 1000 calories a day. when i don't eat fast food at all when I'm at school, eating it when I'm home makes me feel horrible

    I'm no expert, but if you were restricting that much over the summer, you should probably still be talking to someone to make sure your recovery goes smoothly.

    Which brings me back to my original point.....have a meeting with your mom and your counselor/nutritionist.

    This. It may be best for you to meet with someone.

    If you consistantly ate low calories and still are eating far too little you will lose muscle and lower your BMR.

    Speak with someone who can help you. 1200 is too low especially if you are not consuming your exercise calories back.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    It sounds like you have a complicated issue on your hands.

    I would suggest having a meeting with your nutritionist and your mom - so you can discuss a meal plan that will be good for you and will help your mom worry less.

    ^^This is excellent advice! While I understand Mom's concern that you're getting enough calories...the solution to this isn't junk food. It's lot's of healthy nutritious foods. Your nutritionalist or counselor needs to reaffirm this with your family!
  • jez4ever
    jez4ever Posts: 190 Member
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    Can you drive? Go to the store and buy meals. Also, I almost hate saying anything good about Mcdonalds, but there southwest GRILLED Chicken salad w/ dressing is less than 400 calories and is very filling.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Also - I would like to add that 1200 calories a day is really not enough ESPECIALLY if you're not eating back your exercise calories. It's below your BMR, it put your body in stress and reeks havoc with your metabolism. You only get one body, it has to last you a long time...treat it kindly!! :flowerforyou:
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    Bring your own food. Cook for yourself and whoever wants to eat what you're having.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Also since Mom is so busy with a full household maybe you can volunteer to cook some healthy meals while Mom is running the kids here and there.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Buy your own food. Let them eat what they want. This is your thing. Not theirs. Don't push them into it.
  • HotrodsGirl0107
    HotrodsGirl0107 Posts: 243 Member
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    Since you are still showing signs of disordered eating (ie netting less than 1200 and trying to justify it), you should probably talk to a counselor. If I were your family I would be very worried for your health (I am a little surprised you are going to school to be a nurse).
  • sierra_12
    sierra_12 Posts: 249 Member
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    thanks everyone, sometimes i do make my own meals but she thinks its rude to not eat what the rest of the family is eating. so when i, like a few of you brought up, offer to make meals for the entire family she says that I'm acting like i know more than her and takes offense to it. so instead of stirring things up, i just eat what they bring the family. i just don't want to step on her toes or act like a know-it-all about food.. i respect my parents and everything that they do for all of us kids and the last thing i want to do is upset them
  • sierra_12
    sierra_12 Posts: 249 Member
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    Since you are still showing signs of disordered eating (ie netting less than 1200 and trying to justify it), you should probably talk to a counselor. If I were your family I would be very worried for your health (I am a little surprised you are going to school to be a nurse).

    i do still see a nutritional counselor about my food intake. and, if you know about the eating disorder, you know that you cant jump back into eating the full amount of calories. the fact that i can eat 1200 is a very big deal for me and my doctors.

    also, your saying that because i have a constant battle with eating disorders i cant become a nurse? i don't understand. i know how much a person should eat, work out, etc. what the body needs when it comes to calories, vitamins, carbs, fats, sugars, etc. just because its hard for me to allow myself to eat all of those things, doesn't mean i don't know about it. i think i will make a pretty good nurse.
  • Camille0502
    Camille0502 Posts: 311 Member
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    My answer to your problem is: don't come home from college so often! Why not stay at school and get involved in clubs and campus life. All that going home must be reducing your social life as well. I can understand you not wanting to eat all that fast food (it sounds gross to me! Plus, I'm not sure how your parents can afford all that) but it also sounds like your mom has you boxed in. So stop going home! I presume that you are over 18 and an adult.
  • HotrodsGirl0107
    HotrodsGirl0107 Posts: 243 Member
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    also, your saying that because i have a constant battle with eating disorders i cant become a nurse? i don't understand. i know how much a person should eat, work out, etc. what the body needs when it comes to calories, vitamins, carbs, fats, sugars, etc. just because its hard for me to allow myself to eat all of those things, doesn't mean i don't know about it. i think i will make a pretty good nurse.

    I didn't say you couldn't become a nurse while battling an eating disorder. I said I was surprised. I mean you are still trying to lose weight and doing it in an unhealthy manner. I am completely recovered from an eating disorder I just think people use past disorders to justify continued unhealthy behavior. If you disagree that is fine.
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
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    Pay for your own food and cook for yourself when you go home... like grownups do! :drinker:
  • sierra_12
    sierra_12 Posts: 249 Member
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    I didn't say you couldn't become a nurse while battling an eating disorder. I said I was surprised. I mean you are still trying to lose weight and doing it in an unhealthy manner. I am completely recovered from an eating disorder I just think people use past disorders to justify continued unhealthy behavior. If you disagree that is fine.

    if you are lucky enough to be completely recovered, I'm so proud of you. and you understand how hard this is. you understand that i cant go straight from eating such a limited amount of calories to eating almost 2000 a day. i slowly add more calories to my diet, but it won't happen overnight. and I'm doing what my doctors and nutritionist tell me to do, i up the calories when i know i will be able to handle it.
  • sierra_12
    sierra_12 Posts: 249 Member
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    Pay for your own food and cook for yourself when you go home... like grownups do! :drinker:

    if this was meant to be a dig toward me, i don't appreciate it. like i have previously said, it insults my parents when i act like i am too good to eat what the rest of the family eats. which is the problem that i am having. i don't mind buying my own food, i will even buy enough for the whole family, but they wont accept it