Negative Body Image Since Losing Weight

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  • bokodasu
    bokodasu Posts: 629 Member
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    I wish I knew what this was, but all I can say is that I'm right here with you. People say I look better, but where before I just saw "me", now I see weird saggy loose skin and jiggly bits. Brains are weird. Apparently it gets better with time, though, so I try not to think about it as much as I can.
  • karenhray7
    karenhray7 Posts: 219 Member
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    Losing a significant amount fo weight (50# or more) is a huge accomplishment. But what often happens is a loss of self along with all the extra weight. Changing the way we perceive ourselves after a significant loss is not an easy thing to do. We may no longer identify with our previous body and who we were in it, but we may not identify with the new, smaller body either. There is a grieving process with significant weight loss whether we realize it or not; we say goodbye to who we were and the body in which we used to live.

    When we look in the mirror at the new body, we may still see the "fat girl/guy" we used to be; still completely fixated on what we have not yet accomplished. It is a difficult thing to love your body, no matter who you are or what you weigh. We believe and hope that after we've accomplished our goal we will be able to finally love how we look. And then when we don't, it can become a vicious cycle of regaining and losing again.

    Becoming comfortable in a new, smaller version of ourselves takes time and patience. Loose skin, loss of curves, all these things are reminders of who we were and what our old bodies looked like. It can be hugely disappointing to come out the other side of weight loss and not love or even like what we see. Body image at any size is a tricky thing.

    There is no magic bullet here, I am sorry to say. You have to grieve who you were in the body you used to have and learn who you are in the new one. Try to focus on how you FEEL, not how you look. Do you have more energy in this new body? Are you able to do things in this new body that were difficult or impossible in the old one? Change is difficult. Learning to live with change is even more so. But it is not impossible.
  • adk88
    adk88 Posts: 143 Member
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    Again, thank you so much for some of your replies! It really helps knowing that other people have experienced this, or even at least heard of it before.
    "But what often happens is a loss of self along with all the extra weight.
    For me, I think this line really nailed it. It's something I would never have imagined feeling, but I am starting to come to terms with why I feel this way. I wish there was an easy way to explain to those closest to me what exactly it is that I am trying to deal with. My boyfriend can't understand it and I know how hard he's trying, but I know a part of him thinks his compliments should be enough to help make me feel good about myself, and I know it can be frustrating for him at times that it's not.
    Maybe now that I understand a little more about it and about what's going on, I will be able to help work past it and get over it.

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