I wish my family was on board....

DoriGaga

This post is more to vent frustration than actually seeking advice, but if anyone has similar issues feel free to share!

This is what annoys me, I live with my mom and my brother, and of the 3 of us I am the most healthy, but I am also the only one worried about my weight, health, etc.

My brother is morbidly obese... I hate even saying that because it's hard for me to accept that it's even true... and yet he doesn't care and I don't get it. (Well I'm' sure he cares on some level, but he has never ever made an attempt to get healthier).... yesterday he was getting rid of his 3XL shirts because they were too small.... how does that not set off a red flag?!?!?!?! It kills me that he is so flippant about his own health.... he has been very lucky to have no major health issues strike him yet, but our dad had a non-fatal heart attack at 34 (34!!!!) due to bad diet, high cholesterol and stress.... I don't want to see my brother go down the same road....

My mom on the other hand had type 2 diabetes. She says she wants to get healthier, but I know she doesn't really know how... so she is reading all these books because she wants to beat it with diet, but sadly I think she is looking for some magic solution that is going to say "eat this food and you will be healed". I try to help her, and I told her she needs to watch her sugar intake. She said she doesn't eat sugar (which is a lie, she has some form of chocolate or candy nearly every day, and I called her on it). And I tried to explain to her about the hidden sugars in everything else she eats... she keeps drinking juice, and not even real juice, like fruit cocktails, and I keep telling her this stuff is poison, but she thinks the fruit makes it healthy. I read the sugar content to her, but she is convinced that sugar from fruit doesn't count.... even though in those drinks most of that sugar doesn't even come from fruit! But she is under the impression that I don't know anything, and she has to rely in whatever is in these books (that she never finishes reading anyway lol)

She complains that her medication is too expensive, and I tell her that changing her diet is free, but she just doesn't want to put in the effort. I started slowly throwing out the worst foods I could find, she hasn't really noticed yet but she will soon I'm sure....

And it's frustrating to me because I am trying to be healthy, and I go out every week and buy fruits and veggies and whole grain breads and whole grain rice... and then they go and buy junk. I know in the end I am only responsible for my own health but I feel so guilty that I am being healthy and watching them be unhealthy, but it's not like I can just grab the food out of their mouths.... right?

Like I said, I'm not looking for advice, because no one knows my family so it's not like you can tell me how to handle it, I just need to vent it to people who (hopefully) understand.

concordancia

Wow, I can't even imagine what they say about you!

Just leave them alone. Eat your own diet, if they want your advice, they will ask for it. Nagging tends to be counterproductive.

ShawnNhGa1977

i agree with this my mom has type 2 diabetes also she sits on the couch and eats like popcorn and stuff and falls asleep in the living room and she has a ton of soda and not good stuff to eat lol

DoriGaga

i agree with this my mom has type 2 diabetes also she sits on the couch and eats like popcorn and stuff and falls asleep in the living room and she has a ton of soda and not good stuff to eat lol

Yeah it breaks my heart because I just want them to be healthy! Not that you know I expect them to go to the gym with me daily or anything, I just don't want to see them be sick, and I'm so scared that my brother is going down the same road as my dad.

misskerouac

I completely understand. It's just me and my husband, and he's not really "overweight", he has a bit of a little beer belly but he's 6'6" so it's not really noticeable. HOWEVER, he smokes a pack a day (sometimes more), drinks twice a week (and by that I mean 6-10 beer then goes and passes out), eats fast food for lunch every day, drinks 2-4 energy drinks a day and does NO physical activity.

He's 34 and I am trying SO HARD to get him to realize that he is really damaging his health. He wakes up every morning hacking up a lung, says he feels like crap, complains about back pains and not sleeping properly but does absolutely nothing to change his lifestyle.

And it's not that I want him to look a certain way, it's that I don't want to be a widow in my 30's.

DoriGaga

Exactly! This has nothing to do with looks, I honestly don't care how someone looks, but they are my family and I don't want to lose them to something that could be prevented... and I have a mix of angry and upset feelings. But I think it's a good thing, because if I didn't care at all, what kind of person would that make me?

Everyone's health is their own business, and you can't make someone stop doing something unhealthy, but it doesn't mean I have to be ok with it...

Seoul11

First of all, I'm really sorry for your frustration...
I know you said you weren't looking for advice... BUT just in case this is helpful in the least...

Several months ago I became a (fish-eating) vegetarian (and also cut down on dairy and a few other things) for health reasons--some of which are specific to my condition, others just general health awareness. My parents were not supportive and to this day still offer me a meat dish at least twice a week. "You don't eat chicken either?!" "Um.. Well... is it meat?"
Anyway, my mom does the vast majority of the cooking at home (I do some, my dad could burn water) and she has always cooked fairly healthily but my dad is a meat and potatoes man. And an over-eater. So they were kind of critical of my choice. In response I started cooking more. For my whole family. I'm a good cook and they love everything I make, so they were always happy to have good homemade food waiting for them and no one ever complains there isn't a drop of meat in it. They love the new flavors.
Am I trying to turn them into vegetarians? No. But we have many more meatless dishes these days because my mom realized she likes them and my dad has realized dinner doesn't have to include an ungodly portion of meat and potatoes. He's happy as long as someone is making food for him.
Additionally, since my mom and I both like to cook, experimenting with new produce and spices has become a good mother-daughter hobby for us, as well as includes trips out to the farmers market on the weekends, maintaining an ever-expanding garden in the summer and canning our veggies in the fall, which has been nice for our relationship. And recently my all-I-eat-is-processed-foods-from-a-can-or-box-but-I'm-still-5'9"-and-130-lbs younger brother has FINALLY for the first time in his life expressed interest in trying *gasp* vegetables.

Of course I'm not saying any of this will work for you, or that you should even keep trying to change them. I will never change my family's minds. But if I can introduce them to at least one new, healthy idea, I'm ok with that.

DoriGaga

Thanks for your input! I don't want to change them, I just want to educate them, when they will let me, and then let them make their own decisions.

It's funny that I posted this, and then my mom came home and started talking about food, and it opened the communication on it a little... I have been trying to go meat and dairy free more often than not (I'm not full vegetarian, but I have more days without meat and dairy than with it now), and I mentioned that to my mom how I have been doing meat free days. Of course she immediately said it was bad because I am not getting protein, but I've done lots of research and I explained to her about getting protein from other sources, and then she said "well, buying less meat and dairy would be cheaper...." I'll take that as a small victory! Regardless that her reason is not health, if it has a healthy outcome, I will take it!

Lt_Starbuck

I wish I had a family...

Seoul11

Thanks for your input! I don't want to change them, I just want to educate them, when they will let me, and then let them make their own decisions.

It's funny that I posted this, and then my mom came home and started talking about food, and it opened the communication on it a little... I have been trying to go meat and dairy free more often than not (I'm not full vegetarian, but I have more days without meat and dairy than with it now), and I mentioned that to my mom how I have been doing meat free days. Of course she immediately said it was bad because I am not getting protein, but I've done lots of research and I explained to her about getting protein from other sources, and then she said "well, buying less meat and dairy would be cheaper...." I'll take that as a small victory! Regardless that her reason is not health, if it has a healthy outcome, I will take it!

For sure! I swear... this is a mom thing. My mom and I have a pretty decent relationship, but I swear she criticizes every new thing I start. Seriously? What's so wrong about wanting to get healthy? If you ever want to exchange meatless meal ideas, hit me up!

Lizzy622

maybe you could offer to cook a couple of nights a week? Show them that healthy food can be filling and taste good. You can also show your mom your log so she can see you are tracking everything to make sure you get your nutrients.