A sensitive subject

terrie_k

My fiance and I have been together for a few years now. He has never been a skinny guy, even as a kid always a bit bigger but those are the guys I go for Anyways, recently he has put on a bit of weight, not much, maybe 10 lbs which isn't a lot as he is around 240 but it seems most of it has went to his belly. . Well, it seems lately like the L may be a bit too small because his shirts are appearing short and I can often see his belly, infact, everyone can see his belly. He always mentions how every year his boss buys them clothes for Christmas and gets him and XL which is wrong "because he is a Large". So how do I tell him or encourage him that either he needs to lose the weight or buy more shirts?

Additionally, I have put on a bit of weight too but have been trying to go to the gym and him and I play sports 2x a week together.

benol1

If he is your fiance then you should be able to talk about things that concern you.
Just invite him to go to the gym with you, to be your gym buddy. If he is resistent then you could talk about how you both need to lose some weight. Concentrate on the benefits of feeling better, more energy, and better sex.
And if you do end up going to the gym then you may also want to look at and perhaps make some changes to your diet.
kind regards,

Ben

TheStephil

You should bring it up to him but only you will know the best way to bring it up without hurting his feelings since you know him better than any of us.

JessHealthKick

If he is your fiance then you should be able to talk about things that concern you.
Just invite him to go to the gym with you, to be your gym buddy. If he is resistent then you could talk about how you both need to lose some weight. Concentrate on the benefits of feeling better, more energy, and better sex.
And if you do end up going to the gym then you may also want to look at and perhaps make some changes to your diet.
kind regards,

Ben

this!

I am on the opposite side of the spectrum - my boyfriend doesn't eat enough and loses weight really quickly (I'm 5"7 and he's 6"2 yet we weigh the same - 145lb!) BUT I totally understand where you are. It has to be something they want just as much as you want for them.

Perhaps remind him of your wedding day, wanting to live a long and healthy life together, wanting to be fit for if/when you have kids etc etc. Try cooking healthier meals and encouraging him to eat better (only way he can be putting on weight is not eating healthy, right?) along with you - make it a journey together

But I think you do need to be a bit blunt and tell him straight out - I love you so much, but you have put on weight just as I have, and I am trying to get healthier and lose a bit so why don't you too?

pattycake118

I agree that you should be able to just come out and say it. It's hard, I know, and it takes a long time to start getting comfortable saying anything like that. But, you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, and if you don't tell him, who will?

If you still don't want to be straightforward and say it, just pay with your phone on the couch and start snapping pictures of him (especially if you're sitting and he's standing, because then the angle will be unflattering and exaggerate it). Then cuddle up with him and check out his art. Chuckle at funny faces he made in the pictures, etc. Let him see for himself, without making a big deal of it.

...yes, I am sneaky, and only use these powers for good.

jsiricos

Have a pic taken of you together, just a nice pic, and put it in a frame where he can see it everyday. One day the light will come on and he'll realize he's.. "growing"

irishblonde2011

In the most tactful was possible I would point out his clothes are getting to small for him. He can buy bigger ones or lose weight his choice. When I started dating my boyfriend we both put on a lot of weight. One day I had enough and began eating healthy & exercising. After a while he wanted to have what I was eating because it looked good..sure I'll come for a run or do a Jillian dvd with you no point in sitting looking at you doing it. Next of all he is 50 pounds down. Gone from a XL to a M. Invite him along for walks/classes/gym etc. Offer to cook him the same thing you are eating. Good luck.

Oh and if that doesn't work just tell him De Nile isn't just a river in Egypt

seafuss

Head to the mall and accidentily wander into a shop that fits him and insist that you want to see him in a different style (meaning longer!!) and that you want to buy him a present:) Good luck!

escapeartist90210

This one's kinda hard, I mean I'm a dude and I'd hate to hear my girlfriend tell me to drop some weight. I noticed my weight gain through embarrassing pictures and now I'm working on getting rid of it. I'd say show him some recent pictures and ask him about joining a gym. I think if he notices your healthier lifestyle, he might want to mirror you and you can sorta be his inspiration to lose weight.

Apyl32

Buy him some shirts. Just tell him, he needs to look in the mirror. Your both adults, he should be able to see his belly hanging out if everyone else can.

tppchef

If you can't talk about this...you've got bigger problems than you know! I've had great results with starting out the conversation with...Your not going to like this conversation, but I just need 10 minutes of your time. Once it's out there...it's up to him!

CoraGregoryCPA

Help him to eat better by making his lunches and breakfasts and you planning the dinner.

This is what I do, for my now, Husband. I make him "overnight oatmeal in a jar" for breakfast and healthy full of different weekly vegetables for lunch. He has lost 10lbs since January. You have to help them without them knowing.

He gets so much attention at work because of his awesome salads and oatmeal in a jar. He brags about it when he comes home. People at work tell him how lucky that he is married to me. Bonus for me

PosterGuy1

You should try to make a joke out of it, so its not uncomfortable.

ice1200s

This is very hard. You can't make someone want to lose weight no more than you can convince someone to quit smoking, quit drugs or quit drinking. Just like we did, they have to come to that conclusion by themselves. They know they need to lose weight, and why, because they've seen themselves in the mirror or pictures just like we did. But until they stop with the excuses, there's not much you can do. My friends and I hoped that my girlfriend would get some inspiration from my weight loss, but no such luck. The only thing I can do, is when she brings up the subject is ask "Would you like some help?" And, of course, pray that they see the light. Ciao, Marc

timpicks

Guys can be amazingly sensitive about their weight gain and the size they wear. At my job we ordered safety vests for people who work in live traffic and the supplier was an asian company. The sizing was off by two sizes (i.e., a medium here would be an XL for this supplier). I thought the female employees would be upset, they were pretty understanding. One male employee, though, came storming into my office in a rage saying that he was a medium, not an XXL. Maybe he was a medium once, but he was certainly a large at the time. The vest fit him perfectly, but he still wanted a smaller size even after I patiently explained the size conversion issue. We gave him a new one and he was happy even though he looked like a safe sausage.

So tred carefully with your fiance. Alternate approaches and be patient--it make take some time to get through. Be direct, use humor, set a positive example in eating and exercising, invite him to join you, whatever you can think of. Try not to nag and pick your spots, but don't ever give up because ultimately you are saving his life and improving the quality of yours.

sPaRkLiNgLYFE

he may not be as sensitive about it as you think, men aren't like women, i would just tell him

DancingMoosie

If you cook for him, cook more healthfully, with less fat and carbs, more protein. You don't have to tell him its healthy, just "trying something new." When you go do things together, make them more active, like mini-golf, walk museums, botanical gardens, etc. Also, is he tall? My HB is and he fits better in XLTall size than XL. Maybe he could get some Large Talls until he either loses the weight or accepts the XL size.

chooselove

This happened to my partner as well. He probably gained about 15 pounds. He was an overall active guy but winter put him into hibernation.
I started doing an extra workout at home with him. We follow the Insanity program. It takes a lot of prodding to get him off his butt, but we have built up momentum now and he's feeling great and we are seeing physical changes.
We like to eat together often, and I don't allow our meals to be unhealthy. If he wants to indulge then he's eating alone. I won't enable the junk food.