How Do You Deal with....

Lone_Wolf70
Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
in Chit-Chat
a sibling who is 39, live is his mother's basement, is a drunk, pill popper, multiple DUI's, did time for assaulting a cop and refuses to take accountability for ANYTHING. Its always the cop's fault, he's bipolar, cant get a job due to an injury (8 yrs ago nonetheless) can get violent...and worse off....my mom enables it all.

I know there answer actually, just had to vent, this all takes place 1,000 miles away and well thats it. You can go about your business now.

Replies

  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    Nothing. Unless the mother is at risk/danger. It's not my issue. I'm busy with my career and family of my own.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Nothing. Unless the mother is at risk/danger. It's not my issue. I'm busy with my career and family of my own.

    She's 79 and to some extent I believe she is in danger (its her own fault IMO)....police were out tonight.

    So embarassingly Jerry Springer.
  • Stacy574
    Stacy574 Posts: 58
    we must have the same brother except mine is 41, and the other is 46. You just want to smack them! My mom does the same thing also, her excuse is because our parents are divorced. Well I had the same parents yet Ive managed to not ever be arrested or addicted to anything. okay my vent session is over also.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    I just saw "your" mom ( I only saw his at first, didn't know it was a bio). Call elderly assistance. There is a name for it....it's not coming to me. Unless it really is eldery assistance.
  • jbruced
    jbruced Posts: 210 Member
    There generally is nothing that can be done until a person such as your sibling wants to change their life. That rarely
    happens.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    There generally is nothing that can be done until a person such as your sibling wants to change their life. That rarely
    happens.

    EXACTLY
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Derp, you can't say it's not your issue when it's your family. Family is family, that's your Mum so of course you're going to worry. I would have him put on some mental healthcare pathway or get doctors involved if it's that bad. Your poor Mum x *squeezey hug for you G*
  • ChapinaGrande
    ChapinaGrande Posts: 289 Member
    Is your brother my sister? Cause they sound the same. Like a person above, I also advise calling some sort of elderly assistance. Unfortunately, Mom probably won't do anything to stop this situation. Many mommies always want to help their babies, no batter how old or dangerous their babies get.

    BTW, for some reason, my mom cut off assistance for my sister. I was so proud of her for helping in the beginning and then stopping when the situation got out of hand. Maybe your mom will be similar?? Sending you positiveness. Message me if you need.

    I might also suggest Al-Anon for you to deal with your feelings as well. You can find some support from people who have loved ones who have addictions.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    Derp, you can't say it's not your issue when it's your family. Family is family, that's your Mum so of course you're going to worry. I would have him put on some mental healthcare pathway or get doctors involved if it's that bad. Your poor Mum x *squeezey hug for you G*

    That's the problem. You can't just put someone on that path. He's an adult. Unless he physically abuses her with physical signs, there really is nothing you can do.
  • NurseEmmyRN
    NurseEmmyRN Posts: 10 Member
    Well, you can always start by contacting his/her doctor's office. If he/she is claiming and collecting on social security due to disability without any truly inhibiting physical injuries, etc., letting the doctor know can take away his/her income source if the doctor believes it's a legit claim. For instance, if he/she can physically assault a cop, then he/she can certainly help stock some shelves at Walmart (maybe with some lifting restrictions). Behavioral problems are also something you can report to the doctor's office. They will be interested in anything they might not be told as they might need to adjust medications or it could open the discussion panel for assisted care. Reporting the pill-popping to the doctor would also be very helpful, not only do they need to know that for his/her safety, but they can also help him/her get all the help they need (and HIPAA laws mean they will not report the drug use to the police if you are concerned about that if you live in the US).

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