Why Running Away from Your Problems Keeps You Fat
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peterdt
Posts: 820 Member
MONDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2011 | POSTED BY DR. GOULD
If you are a binge eater or a compulsive over eater you are a Runaway. That's because when you eat that way, you are actually running away from yourself. When kids run away from home, it's because they feel misunderstood or under appreciated or abused. Everyone has felt unloved some time in their childhood, but the Runaway not only feels that sometimes, he or she comes to feel that way all the time. He or she feels it so deeply that it becomes the unquestioned and immutable truth and there's nothing that can be done about it except to run away. The Runaway experiences great pain and a sense of helplessness.
As I continue to work with patients who are fighting the food obsession, I find myself always encouraging them to use the pause technique and simply ask themselves what they are running away from when they reach for food in a compulsive manner. I can ask that question safely because I know that they don't need to run away from their feelings anymore. Although the feelings are painful, you are no longer a helpless child.
The answers to the question, "what are you feeling?" vary in accordance with where you are in the treatment process. It usually starts out as "I don't know. I just feel this overwhelming hungry feeling even though I just ate and I am full." I encourage that person to experiment more, knowing that soon it will become clear to them. If they are sitting in the room with me, I might make a comment on the emotion that shows on their face because their body almost always betrays their feeling. Your brain knows what you are feeling, even if you can't put it into words yet. When I commented on one patients facial flush she was able to tell me she was running away from sadness, only after she found her face wet with tears.
Feelings are the way your body and brain communicate about what is going on in your life. True feelings point you to what is important to pay attention to and help you figure out what action you need to take. That is why it is so important to NOT numb yourself with food!
If you are a binge eater or a compulsive over eater you are a Runaway. That's because when you eat that way, you are actually running away from yourself. When kids run away from home, it's because they feel misunderstood or under appreciated or abused. Everyone has felt unloved some time in their childhood, but the Runaway not only feels that sometimes, he or she comes to feel that way all the time. He or she feels it so deeply that it becomes the unquestioned and immutable truth and there's nothing that can be done about it except to run away. The Runaway experiences great pain and a sense of helplessness.
As I continue to work with patients who are fighting the food obsession, I find myself always encouraging them to use the pause technique and simply ask themselves what they are running away from when they reach for food in a compulsive manner. I can ask that question safely because I know that they don't need to run away from their feelings anymore. Although the feelings are painful, you are no longer a helpless child.
The answers to the question, "what are you feeling?" vary in accordance with where you are in the treatment process. It usually starts out as "I don't know. I just feel this overwhelming hungry feeling even though I just ate and I am full." I encourage that person to experiment more, knowing that soon it will become clear to them. If they are sitting in the room with me, I might make a comment on the emotion that shows on their face because their body almost always betrays their feeling. Your brain knows what you are feeling, even if you can't put it into words yet. When I commented on one patients facial flush she was able to tell me she was running away from sadness, only after she found her face wet with tears.
Feelings are the way your body and brain communicate about what is going on in your life. True feelings point you to what is important to pay attention to and help you figure out what action you need to take. That is why it is so important to NOT numb yourself with food!
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Replies
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VERY NICE!0
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I don't know who Dr. Gould is, but I've found (through therapy for what I thought were unrelated issues) that this was the case for me.0
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