Why am I like this?
Replies
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That is why I wonder WHY I am like this? what is going to take for me to realize THIS IS IT?
This is something that we can't tell you. You have to figure this out on your own. Once you make that self-discovery you will be well on your way.
What triggers weight loss is different for everyone. For me, I tried and failed a thousand times. It took me having a miscarriage in November to realize that I needed to get healthier. For me, it's not about the weight loss, but it's about being healthy. The weight loss comes as an added bonus.
YOU have to find that trigger, that thing that's going to make YOU tick and motivate YOU.
Thanks a lot!!! I will seriously give it a try from today.
Don't just give it a try - DO IT! When you say try you're giving yourself the option to fail. When you say you're going to do it - that means that you're giving it all you've got.0 -
Read something in another post yesterday that may help you.
Don't say "I'm going to do better, get fitter, eat healthier."
Say "I am going to walk 30 minutes a day. I am going to eat a fruit or vegetable with every meal. I am going to drink water instead of Coke with my dinners." CONCRETE things.
To lose a pound a week, you need an imbalance of 500 calories a day. You can do that with all food, with all exercise, or with both. Look through the exercise database at MFP and find something you can do that will burn an extra 250 calories. It might be something as simple as a brisk 45-minute walk. Can you commit to doing that? Can you work it into your life in some way?
Track your food for several weeks. Look through your diaries. Do you see a pattern? Do you see where you could cut 250 calories out of your day? For me, this was relatively easy and just took portion control on certain snacks and foods, not giving them up completely. Tracking your intake lets you see that.
Try committing to moving your body 30 minutes a day and tracking everything you eat as accurately as you can. Use scales and measuring cups -- don't guess. Doing those two things are concrete, defined tasks you can check off a checklist at the end of every day. "Did I move my body?" Yes/no. Did I write down everythign I ate?" Yes/no. Much clearer than "did I eat better? Did I get fitter?0 -
Ok first off....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Next ...sit down and write down your goals both long term and short term.
If you are someone like me who is use to using food as comfort, learning moderation and really utilizing the tools MFP offers will most likely be a life saver for you.
Set your calories....(I find MFP sets them kind of low, so I initially added a few hundred extra cals when I originally first started....around 1600 cals). Goals need to be attainable....like "Meet my calorie goal every day" or "Exercise 3 days a week"..."Exercise 4 days a week"...
Pick one short term goal for each week and really focus on it....sometimes breaking it down can really help get your mind in the game...master one thing at a time. You do great one week meeting/staying within your calorie goals...next week move on to drinking enough water. Once you get your food intake under control...then start working on getting the exercise. (I'm only suggesting this as I got from your original post that eating mindlessly is your vice at the moment so attack that first).
This weight loss thing takes a lot of time and patience. You will absolutely have days where you wanna throw in the towel but that's giving up on yourself and that is unacceptable. I really wish I had heard these types of statements in this thread back 2 years ago when I started...while it's taking a while to chip away at it, I'm making progress ...and my lifestyle is slowly improving.
Being healthy isn't just about counting calories and food...it's about being happy mentally, enjoying life, etc....so embrace the changes, pick yourself up after you fall and you will have no other outcome but success.
Good luck!0 -
Give yourself the best birthday present...the choice to start today. If you have cake...just take half as much...and celebrate knowing that in one year you'll be "reborn" in a healthier body. Concentrate on one day at a time and if you have a "bad day" once in awhile...so what...it's the long haul that matters. Forgive and move on. Eat a smaller portion of the less healthy foods and add a lot more veggies and fruits. They'll help fill you up so you aren't hungry. It's a matter of substituting better foods. And move...even if it's to take a walk, play a sport or head to a gym. Each good thing you do for yourself is an added gift to YOU. And yes, those who succeed and keep off the weight haven't been on a diet. They've changed their way of eating and learned how to include all the things they have always loved, but in moderation.
Have a great first day of becoming healthier.
This is the best advice I have seen in reply to your post. Happy Birthday! I do not know your age and dealing with life changes are different at different ages. Make sure you have a medical check up so there are no underlying medical issues to deal with. Then follow what was said above. Cut back, don't cut out. So many of us just over eat, we don't have to stop eating foods, we just need to eat less of them. My trick was I no longer use a dinner plate, switch to a salad plate. Same with soup/cereal bowl. Switch to a smaller version. It is amazing what this can do over time. Baby steps!!! Good luck. Add me as a friend if you wish. I would like to help any way I can.0 -
From reading this thread, I'm getting the impression that your problem is that you change a lot of things for a short amount of time and then go back to normal (like, you'll follow a diet plan for 5 months and then go back to your old habits).
So if that doesn't work, why don't you try changing one thing at a time? For example, switch to frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, or start drinking water instead of soda. Once that change has become habit, move on to another one. Replace one of your daily snack breaks with a workout. Take the stairs whenever you have the option. And once that's a habit, make another one. Don't make it a diet, don't make it a plan, make it your "normal".
There is no time limit. You don't have to lose a pound a week consistently to live healthier and feel better about yourself. Take it easy. It doesn't matter how slowly you progress, as long as you are constantly working toward your goal.0 -
this for sure! It hit me at the beginning of this year. I also got help seeing a therapist because I realized I am a compulsive eater and when I am down I stuff my face. Seeing a therapist has really helped me to open up and use other tools to deal with things other than food. But you really have to want it. I have wanted it my whole life but I basically hit rock bottom recently and you can only go up from there
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I would recommend hiring a personal trainer at the gym, or maybe even a nutritionist. I hired a personal trainer at the gym (who also provides me with nutrional guidance) and I found that once I had someone else telling me what to do it was a lot easier cause I wasn't always questioning if what I am doing is the right thing. Then you can build some new habits together and both be accountable for your progress. This will also build some expectations on you part (i.e. you have to follow what they say) so that in itself should motivate you to do it. You should have regular meetings with this person so that you keep it up and develop a routine.
I know that these kinds of thigns are pretty expensive to do and it took a lot for me to actualyl agree to do it cause I was afraid of dishing out the $$ for a PT. But now, 6 months later, I do not regret it one little bit.
If $$ is an issue for you, look up some personal adds for "gym buddy". There are other people out there who liek to have ap artner because again, it helps with accountability. You might be able to find someone in the same boat as you and you can do it together!
Good luck with everything!0 -
Hi! I completely understand and relate to your frustrations. My problem is more of self-sabotage. I do great for a few weeks then fall off the wagon big time. I am a firm believer of finding what works best for you.
There may be that little chubby demon inside of you that screams "you're never going to lose weight....it's never going to work....stop kidding yourself, etc. etc. etc." BUT you have to look at youself in the mirror and say "Food is not going to control me. I DON'T WANT TO BE "FAT" ANYMORE!" Believe when I say that food is ALWAYS going to be there. You are not "missing" out on anything by cutting down on eating processed foods aka french fries, fake mexican food, dollar menu food.
No matter how much advice you get from others - it truly boils down to just you. You have to make the decision to stop/cut back on eating the food that your body can't handle. I'm sorry this might not be of much help but try with little changes and streadily progress. Eat whole what pasta instead of white, each ground turkey instead of ground beef, eat a NY Strip Steak instead of Ribeye...
Good luck babe!0 -
Read something in another post yesterday that may help you.
Don't say "I'm going to do better, get fitter, eat healthier."
Say "I am going to walk 30 minutes a day. I am going to eat a fruit or vegetable with every meal. I am going to drink water instead of Coke with my dinners." CONCRETE things.
To lose a pound a week, you need an imbalance of 500 calories a day. You can do that with all food, with all exercise, or with both. Look through the exercise database at MFP and find something you can do that will burn an extra 250 calories. It might be something as simple as a brisk 45-minute walk. Can you commit to doing that? Can you work it into your life in some way?
Track your food for several weeks. Look through your diaries. Do you see a pattern? Do you see where you could cut 250 calories out of your day? For me, this was relatively easy and just took portion control on certain snacks and foods, not giving them up completely. Tracking your intake lets you see that.
Try committing to moving your body 30 minutes a day and tracking everything you eat as accurately as you can. Use scales and measuring cups -- don't guess. Doing those two things are concrete, defined tasks you can check off a checklist at the end of every day. "Did I move my body?" Yes/no. Did I write down everythign I ate?" Yes/no. Much clearer than "did I eat better? Did I get fitter?
THIS!! Definitely this.0 -
You spend energy writing about how you don't have the energy to do something healthy. There's your answer.0
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log everything you put in your mouth, except.....0
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Happy Birthday!! I agree with start with logging everything!! That helps a lot!0
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Happy Birthday!! I agree with start with logging everything!! That helps a lot!
Yes...even if you go over calories...just log it. This will help you come face to face with exactly how much you are consuming..adn then it is your responsibility to make it right for you.0 -
Dont think of it as a diet and dont think of exercise as a chore. Think of them together as a lifestyle change for a long heatlthy fit life. Just eat healthy foods and get to the gym at least 4 days a week. I know you can do it! Dont keep putting it off saying tomorrow or Monday or the next Monday etc just start the change! And Happy Birthday
This is exactly how I started thinking about it. I started my "lifestyle change" at the beginning of December in 2012. I know people were thinking I was crazy - starting just before the Christmas holidays?! Well, that's just absurd! But I figured if I could get through the holidays, then I could get through anything. So far, I've lost 16 pounds. I'm taking it a day at a time and my slow weight loss is just fine with me. I attend one hour of Zumba a week and I bowl in a league once a week for about 1.5 hours. I'm trying to get outside more to walk my dog for more exercise - I figure the more I move, the more weight I'll lose. I've also allowed myself treats that I normally eat - just in moderation (I only eat 4 Girl Scout Thin Mints instead of the whole sleeve). I'm also eating more fruits and vegetables. Yes, I have bad days (sometimes more than one in a week). But so far I haven't let it derail me. I do think that it's also mental as well - you have to WANT to lose the weight - mentally, emotionally, physically, etc. And I think that day last December was my wall. Good luck! :happy:0 -
Also, every time you want to eat anything that's not in your plan for the day, go to the community boards and read a success story or a motivation thread. You may be able to distract yourself from eating that thing.0
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Two thoughts:
1. Why do you want to lose weight? If you have nothing to work toward, you're less likely to succeed.
2. Picture yourself at your birthday next year. You have two choices: start now and be a better you in one year or keep doing what your doing and be a bigger you. Even if it takes a year, won't you love that you started today and not put it off??
Happy birthday and GET IT DONE!!!0 -
ever since 1/1/13 started I wanted to change my lifestyle and eat right, I have not done that even for 1 day. The more I think about losing weight and eating right, the more I eat and go off track...:( I just can not get started. It is my B'day today and I really want to set things straight. I am not sure if I have some sort of hidden stress or what, but I DO WANT TO CHANGE, but I can't. WHY? when I put food in my mouth, I am not hungry and I do think that I should not and I still put it in anyway....:(
I keep thinking to leave carbs off for a week or two to get started and slowly add good carbs back in, but then think that is not good way to do I will just moderately eat everything, but the end of the day I feel bloated, stuffed, and disgusted....:(
Anyone want to help me giving me the set food and amt for me to follow to get started? or any other tips to stay strong would be appreciated as well
why? you are weak and are to busy feeling sorry for yourself that it distracts you from the most important step to and lifestyle change. That is, to start. Telling yourself you can't is just a story because somewhere in your subconscious you believe that you deserve to indulge yourself. Get over it. Pick any respectable diet and workout plan and follow it. It doesn't matter which one, just pick one.
Might seem harsh and mean, but If I was you, I would want someone to punch me in the face if it mean't a step forward to the strongest version of myself. If MFP allowed me to swear this comment would probably have at least 20 f-bombs.
Yes, It is ultimately ME. I understand, but I am really frustrated the way I have been since 1/1/13. I do know what has worked for me in the past and what it takes to consistently lose and keep it off, I still don't do it. That is why I wonder WHY I am like this? what is going to take for me to realize THIS IS IT?
Does the "why" even matter? "Why" is often just an excuse for not doing something. Instead of spending time trying to figure out "why", how about you direct that energy and though and effort into doing something new? Like others have said, pick one thing you can do something about (change of eating habits, adding some activity, etc.) and just do it. You don't need to understand your past behaviours to decide to start new behaviours today! Make a good decision for yourself, you can do it!0 -
You may have tried too much too fast. First log EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. This will give you a place to look back to see what you are really doing. Some people even keep track of how they feel after each meal. If you feel bad after certain foods maybe you should stay away from them. Good luck. and yes you can have a small piece of birthday cake. Happy birthday. :flowerforyou:
THIS!!!
Start with just the habit of logging. The big changes are overwhelming to you. Don't do it all at once. Just commit to logging every single thing. You'll start to see your own patterns, and can make more small changes from there, whether it's cutting down on certain foods or adding more veggies, whatever.
The best way to make real change is slowly. You don't want a short-term diet, you want long-term health and vitality!
I have been AMAZED at what just committing to logging has done for me. I have no other "rules." The rest will follow.
You can do it.0 -
Be the change you want to see.
When I started hitting the gym, I really liked the results I was getting, and I didn't want to mess that up with my diet and un-do all the hard work.
Write your days down on a calendar or track them someplace so you can see just how many times you have gone and know that every day the effort was put in. Once you see it all laid out, it may make you proud and want to continue. At least that's how it is for me.
Happy birthday! 0 -
Happy Birthday!!
Take one day at a time, and don't let the past discourage you.
Set the goals on MFP, and try to log everything. That will build the first step "Awareness", where you see what you are eating and perhaps what you can try to cut out or substitute for a healthier day.
Things to try and focus on: Vegetables, lean meats and fruits. If you can substitute soda and snacky items for one healthier replacement each day, that is a good start.0 -
Could you be eating to compensate for something else in your life that you can't control? I was. I used to stuff myself to the max every single day, and I didn't know why, other than "I like to eat". But that wasn't the whole story.
One night I was getting ready for bed, stuffed and miserable and hating myself as usual, when I remembered that we had sherbet in the freezer. I wanted so bad to go get some, and all of a sudden it hit me like the force of a brick falling on my head - I was doing it ON PURPOSE. I had been in control all along.
The real problem was that I could see signs that my adult son (who lives here) was seriously abusing drugs, also alcohol (that much was obvious). I needed to confront him, but it was so hard. I had a coworker who forced her son to move out of her house because he was abusing meth, and he was dead within a month. I didn't want that to happen to us. It was much easier to just keep eating and eating and hating myself. That I knew how to deal with; I'd been doing it for years. (I confronted him, turned out his problem was meth, he moved out, got arrested, went to jail, now is back here on probation, working a job, supposedly cleaning up his act - we'll see.)0 -
Dont think of it as a diet and dont think of exercise as a chore. Think of them together as a lifestyle change for a long heatlthy fit life. Just eat healthy foods and get to the gym at least 4 days a week. I know you can do it! Dont keep putting it off saying tomorrow or Monday or the next Monday etc just start the change! And Happy Birthday
This is exactly how I started thinking about it. I started my "lifestyle change" at the beginning of December in 2012. I know people were thinking I was crazy - starting just before the Christmas holidays?! Well, that's just absurd! But I figured if I could get through the holidays, then I could get through anything. So far, I've lost 16 pounds. I'm taking it a day at a time and my slow weight loss is just fine with me. I attend one hour of Zumba a week and I bowl in a league once a week for about 1.5 hours. I'm trying to get outside more to walk my dog for more exercise - I figure the more I move, the more weight I'll lose. I've also allowed myself treats that I normally eat - just in moderation (I only eat 4 Girl Scout Thin Mints instead of the whole sleeve). I'm also eating more fruits and vegetables. Yes, I have bad days (sometimes more than one in a week). But so far I haven't let it derail me. I do think that it's also mental as well - you have to WANT to lose the weight - mentally, emotionally, physically, etc. And I think that day last December was my wall. Good luck! :happy:
Thanks!! I did start this seriously today. I have opened up my diary to my friends which should help me eat consciously. I am planning to log everything I eat so that at the end of the day I can see how much all together I ate and what's leading me to this heavy path.
Thanks to everyone else who had put in lot of good support for me. I WILL NOT FORGET ANY OF YOU!!! THANKS!!0 -
Read this "article" I got a couple weeks ago as part of a work "Slimdown Challenge" I'm doing...One of the first obstacles in keeping a behavior change is overcoming what your mind does not yet recognize as your “future self”. On a subconscious level your mind can easily put changes off until the future where it believes the “new you” can handle anything!
Why is this? First, your brain thinks your future self is a different person. Here’s a great example of how this works: You know you have to be up at 5 a.m. in order to exercise before work. But you stay up late watching a movie you’ve seen a dozen times. On a conscious level you know you are setting yourself up to fail however on a subconscious level your mind thinks of the tomorrow version of you as a completely different person!
Believe it or not science shows that this feature is built into your brain through brain scans. Brain scans show that different parts of our brain light up when we’re thinking of ourselves versus when we’re thinking of other people. What’s interesting is that in some people, when they’re asked to think about their “future” selves, the region that lights up is the one reserved for other people. In other words, if someone asks you to think about what you’ll look like in 20 years your brain treats it as though you’re trying to picture a stranger. Second, according to one study, habits take 10 weeks before any sort of new behavior starts to feel automatic. That means that during these 2 months any kind of change in your routine can disrupt the process. If you have a week when you can’t exercise because of the flu, a pulled muscle or working late then the habit is broken. Typically, this is when most people go back to their old ways. Your brain likes efficiency and mindless habits are efficient so it wants to create mental shortcuts that help you get through the day using the least amount of brain power necessary.
Your brain uses progress as an excuse for self-indulgence. Think of a time when you were on a really great stretch for creating a new habit and then because you’ve been doing so well you “owe it” to yourself to take a day off. Sound familiar? There is actually a term for this: willpower depletion and its every bit as detrimental to your goals as it sounds.
This wouldn’t be a big deal if all it meant was that the occasional “You look great!” compliment resulted in one celebratory cheeseburger. Unfortunately, the basic principle is that if you slip up once, that one misstep causes you to say “oh, well I already slipped up. I might as well just keep going now!” So, if you make progress on your diet or exercise program you are very likely to give yourself an excuse to splurge just once. But as soon as you do, it’s like opening a floodgate of self-defeating behavior that could drag you all the way back to square one.
Your brain also prefers bad habits to real failure. So, while your conscious self is busy hating you for not fixing your bad habits, your subconscious self is secretly doing everything it can to sabotage any efforts to correct them, because self-indulgence, not self-improvement, is what your brain actually wants. Your subconscious would actually prefer and accept one type of failure out of fear of suffering a much greater one, almost like a plea bargain in court.0 -
Wow misifer; that was so interesting.0
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i don't mean this as harsh as it is going to sound, but it's really as straightforward as this....
If you want it, You'll do it. You have to want to be fit, more than you want the temporary, fleeting pleasure of eating something unhealthy. It all comes down to your mental strength. You have to be able to say "no." It's not easy, at all. Especially not at first... but it DOES GET EASIER!!!
Hell, at work there's been a popcorn machine set up in the front for employee appreciation all this week. it's KILLING me not to go get some.... but when i think about it, it really isn't killing me. it's a choice i make to take pride in how good i feel when i do what is right for my body, and that lasts so much longer than any cup of popcorn.
What made me finally change....
"Nobody cares about your excuses. Nobody pities you for procrastinating. Nobody is going to coddle you because you are lazy. It's your @$$. You move it."
It's true. Once you realize that only you can control where your health goes from here, and you make the decision, once and for all to get to work, it'll happen.
If "wishing" burned calories... we'd all be in shape!0 -
Could you be eating to compensate for something else in your life that you can't control? I was. I used to stuff myself to the max every single day, and I didn't know why, other than "I like to eat". But that wasn't the whole story.
One night I was getting ready for bed, stuffed and miserable and hating myself as usual, when I remembered that we had sherbet in the freezer. I wanted so bad to go get some, and all of a sudden it hit me like the force of a brick falling on my head - I was doing it ON PURPOSE. I had been in control all along.
The real problem was that I could see signs that my adult son (who lives here) was seriously abusing drugs, also alcohol (that much was obvious). I needed to confront him, but it was so hard. I had a coworker who forced her son to move out of her house because he was abusing meth, and he was dead within a month. I didn't want that to happen to us. It was much easier to just keep eating and eating and hating myself. That I knew how to deal with; I'd been doing it for years. (I confronted him, turned out his problem was meth, he moved out, got arrested, went to jail, now is back here on probation, working a job, supposedly cleaning up his act - we'll see.)
Wish you well for your son. Hope he gets on better path soon. Yes, I could be not acknowledging something, but nothing like this is going in my life. Currently we all are dealing with 2 cancer news in the family, but that is whole family is dealing with. I do have a WONDERFUL huband and 2 beautiful sons(6 and 3), so I should do it for myself and so that I can stay and take care of my family longer.0 -
Here's what worked for me:
Track every single thing I eat and drink
Start with simple workout goals - 30 minutes a day, 3 miles after work, whatever
And the most important thing:
I posted my weight, online, every single day, and posted it for my friends to see every day. Knowing that I have to post that weight, gain or loss, makes me think about if I want or need those things enough to risk posting a gain.0 -
Try taking small steps first! Don't look at this like, I'll never be able to eat this good stuff again! Don't ever tell yourself you CAN'T have anything. Just tell yourself not today, and allow yourself to have some little snack or treat. I like those smart ones ice creams. Look in the frozen section by the ice cream. Sometimes, I'll have 9 Whoppers, only about 100 cal's. (the candy, not the sandwich, lol). First step, if you drink soda, switch to diet, or cut out completely, (something I can't do). Second step, avoid "mindless eating." If you're hungry, eat something. By mindless eating, I mean eating just because it's there, or 'cuz you're bored. Try to avoid eating in front of the TV or computer. Try to make good choices. Avoid getting overly hungry. Try to snack on healthy things. Don't think of it as going on a "diet". Just try to make better food choices! :happy: Also, try to move more. Get outside, go for a walk, put on some music and dance around the house. Try to limit how long you sit in front of the TV or computer. LIVE your life, don't sit around and let it pass you by! Move more! :happy:0
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Wow misifer; that was so interesting.
I know right? It seriously blew my mind, yet made SO much sense. This is not just a battle with weight, but with your MIND. A battle you have to be damned determined to win. You have your own brain working against you! Coincidentally another "weekly update" they sent talked about how much more people lose when they have a network to support them. Well, here we are...WE CAN DO THIS!0
http://youtu.be/l-gQLqv9f4o
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