I give up

MiracleMiles

I would have to agree with the other lady that said you ARE gorgeous and you don't need someone in your life to validate your beauty. You have to love yourself before you can love another; if your significant other can't appreciate you for who you are (fat or thin), the problem ISN"T YOU. Anyone who consistently finds fault with others will never find happiness with themselves and they are ultimately incapable of loving or being emotionally responsible in a relationship. From one "fat" girl to another, I get that you are frustrated-- I am right there with you-- I weigh 322 pds and I have only lost 14pds in a month and a half. I suffered a heart attack on Valentine's Day BECAUSE I had the very defeated and apathetic attitude that you have now. If you can't change for yourself, than focus on your family and the people who need you and truly love you. Find some real support, not some paid professional who doesn't know you--sign up for some over eaters anonymous classes and find a real network of people who are going to build you up, not tear you down. You can lose the weight, it doesn't happen over night and its not going to be easy. It's more about the journey, than the destination-- you know you will get there, just slow down, take a breathe and enjoy life because it's a gift and you only get one shot at this one.

purple_furry_aubergine

Sorry to hear you feel so down! I agree with everyone else, you're gorgeous in your profile pic! It's early days yet, it's a big adjustment to make, 5 pounds in 4 weeks is amazing and probably bang on what you should be aiming for depending on what your stats are now.

The way I look at it, you actually can't give up. Sure, you might stop exercising and logging for a bit, but food still needs to go in and out, the key is what food and how much. You've already said you're not going to go completely crazy, so you're still on the spectrum of being aware of what you're eating. What is it you feel like you're struggling with diet-wise that is causing you to feel like you can't do it? Are you hungry, do you crave sweet food, do you lead a busy life and find it hard to make healthy food fit in with your routine? I sympathise with your low mood, obviously I don't know your circumstances, but I do know how hard it is to have the spark and energy when you feel so crushed by life. But regardless, you'll still eat and feed your children, even just a couple of small simple changes can help. We've replaces beef mince with turkey mince as a less calorific alternative, make a big batch of bolognese or chilli and you'll have lighter meals for a week, I've also replaced my snacks with smaller versions, if you have a sweet tooth, try and get smaller versions if they're available, I've fallen in love with the break-size rice crispie bars, I know they're not the healthiest, they're my kryptonite, but satisfaction-wise I feel just as good after the smaller one as the full size one.

I hope you feel better soon. We'll be waiting for you if / when you want to come back!

Ready2Rock206

1. If you really wanted to give up you wouldn't post something to have people encourage you not to.
2. If you were really happy as you are you wouldn't post such a defeated post.
3. You lost over a pound a week - this isn't the Biggest Loser - you did great.
4. Weight loss isn't instant - it does take work - and if you want it you will do the work, but don't put out a load of crap about how you don't care and you're happy - because you do care and you don't sound happy.

Some days suck, but I can see a spark in your post. I think you do want it and you do care. Maybe you're not to the point where you are ready yet, but I don't think you're too far away. Hope we'll be seeing you back here soon with that spark as a full on fire.

jaynalawayna

Take a walk and give yourself some alone time.

Umeboshi

I say give up and be happy being fat. Only lose weight if it makes YOU happy. If it doesn't, work on health at your current size, enjoy your current body, and just be happy.

aeg176

I started this off GREAT....now this is where I am...
Been eating really bad for the past 2 weeks. Also only worked out twice as well. There is where the "fat me" takes over and wins. I am happier being fat and being able to eat whatever I want. What do I have to gain being fit? Nothing. This is where "health" should be important to me, but to be honest, I can can care less. I know I ultimately want to be sexy and finally have my husband tell I'm beautiful, but right now this isn't the time. I know I am screwed up in the head. I have been through hell and back mentally the past 3 years. Always being brought down and made to feel like **** but the one person who should be building me up. My therapist wants to help me fix this so I don't give up on my fitness goals but she sure is taking her sweet *kitten* time and now here I am, giving up. Those 5 pounds I lost in 4 weeks also really screwed me up. I got my feeling of success...that's all I needed. To hell with losing more, right? Plus really, ONLY 5 pounds in FOUR WEEKS?!?! My life is so effed up and the whole entire world is resting on my shoulders and no one will help take the load off. So I don't have time for the least important person...me. I know I am really emotional and I would love to keep trying...so I won't be eating 4000 calories a day, but I am also probably done logging and exercising for awhile. If I wake up one day feeling great and energized, I'll pop Insanity back in. I will continue to keep portion control in my mind but....I have been defeated.

I have held myself back from writing the same exact post 3 times just this week alone. I know exactly how you are feeling believe me! If weight loss were easy then everyone would be doing it and people wouldn't have weight problems to begin with. I have commitedly been trying(again) at this since 12/10/2012 and I haven't lost a single pound! It is SO discouraging it makes you feel... why am I doing this in the first place? What keeps me going is to read peoples success stories and see their pics. I want this so bad and while I may be thrown off track every once in a while (daily) I know the only way in my heart this is gonna happen is if I give it a good chance to work. I met someone on here that told me about this poster she saw that said "give it 12 weeks". She promised it would be some of the hardest weeks of my life but if I stuck it out til then and gave it all I got then I could give up if i didn't see results. Well it will be 12 weeks for me around the end of this month (I took a few days off here and there). Finally today when I was getting dressed for work I noticed my pants were fitting a little looser. Not a huge feat but its proof that all the hard work I have put in is beginning to pay off. Maybe you just need a break to get your head straight and get back on this wagon. You can do this and you have great people and a great site to help you do that. Good luck with your journey I hope you don't just give up. Im here if you want to friend me we can do this together if you wish...Im here! :flowerforyou:

JessieLMay

Are you really giving something up after you only do it for 1 month? Not in my book. Especially if 2 of those weeks you ate bad and didn't exercise. So did you really ever start. Find a pity forum....we are committed people here. Achieve goals, reach success, and put in a hell of a lot of hard work to do it. That's reality. Why even post an I give up forum, when you didn't even start. The majority of people on here are hard azz workers trying to reach a common goal....be healthy.

It is also a place for support and encouragement. This isnt the site for you if you are going to talk down to people. Also 4 weeks then my 2 weeks.

bajoyba

You have to figure out what is really going to make you happy, and then do that. If you really do prefer to be larger, that's okay. Sometimes I look at my butt in the mirror and start to miss its exceptional size. But my ultimate goal is to have a strong, healthy body, so I'm willing to sacrifice a little back to make that happen!
The hardest part about weight loss, at least for me, is the mental battle. Sometimes results are slower than I'd like, or I don't want to exercise, or I feel like eating a 1,000 calorie basket of mozzarella sticks, or I just feel ugly. It's really easy to get down on yourself.
But what I keep telling myself and any other person who is trying to make a lifestyle change is this: there is no finish line. As long as I'm breathing, I have the opportunity to improve. The only way to fail is to give up on my goals. Having a bad week, month, or year is not a failure. It just means you got off track temporarily. But any step toward your goal, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.
I wish you happiness and good luck with your goals. If you decide to stay on MFP and give it another shot, feel free to add me!

michelle7673

I could say so many things, but the one that is talking the loudest in my head is --I have been where you are. The one thing I keep telling myself is that tomorrow I can be just that tiny bit stronger, just because I didn't stop putting one foot in front of the other. And I swear to you that it is working.
Send me a friend request, please, if you want to.

veggieluver2

My first thought was "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back on the horse!" I know this is easier said than done. I'm in a slump myself right now. I'm a little burned out on the gym and trying to eat right and log my calories. I've been overeating my calories for a month and not giving it my all at the gym. But, I'm going to keep getting up in the a.m. and hitting the gym--even if I only spend 20 minutes in there, it's better than no time.

deedeeFP

5 pounds in 4 weeks is FANTASTIC! You sound stressed today, everyone has a bad day. Forget the last 2 weeks and just think about today. I've been struggling wtih weight loss as well, feel free to add me as a friend..

Greciankoukla

You do care because here you are complaining about it. You DO DEF care but it is obvious you feel defeated and have let your problems get the best of you and your weight issues control you and win. You are in charge of you, your life, and your problems. Most of your problems have come about because of certain choices you made. Now unless it was someone physically hurting you or something like that, that is not your fault. But most of our problems and issues are because if what choices we have made and paths we have taken.

You definitely should keep going to your therapist but do not depend on her or expect her to be a miracle worker. She is more like a guide to you a counselor in some cases. She is there to make you see things and hopefully be more clear minded. But really, there is not a single person out there who can make things better for you.

So you screwed up, start over, tomorrow is always a new, fresh day. If you have been logging in your food go back and look at what is going on. Or maybe have someone else here look at it.

Last note, if you are not happy with your therapist, find another. But do not walk in expecting the world from them.

lovetobethin86

I would LOVE to lose 5 pounds in 4 weeks!! That would take me months!!

1HungryPumpkin

All I'm going to say is that if you just do one thing for yourself, exercise. Just go out the door and go for a walk and get some sunshine. It will not only help your body, but aide your mental health as well.

Good luck to you!

Greciankoukla

Are you really giving something up after you only do it for 1 month? Not in my book. Especially if 2 of those weeks you ate bad and didn't exercise. So did you really ever start. Find a pity forum....we are committed people here. Achieve goals, reach success, and put in a hell of a lot of hard work to do it. That's reality. Why even post an I give up forum, when you didn't even start. The majority of people on here are hard azz workers trying to reach a common goal....be healthy.

It is also a place for support and encouragement. This isnt the site for you if you are going to talk down to people. Also 4 weeks then my 2 weeks.

I am not being mean or trying too. But honestly you need the truth to be said and not to come here for validation to just live an unhealthy lifestyle, and for people to tell you that you are pretty. Be strong and do it. Get a handle on your life, and do it the RIGHT way. Don't half *kitten* it. And 5 pounds a month is just fine. The months add up. Your expectations seem like maybe they were too high. Good Luck

sPaRkLiNgLYFE

giving up after 4 weeks?? maybe your expectations were unrealistic, but hey if you're happy being fat then i'm happy for you. :flowerforyou:

danibu98

The timing may just not be right....The desire has to come from within yourself and you have to want it more than you've ever wanted anything...You have to have patience and discipline to eat the right foods everyday, limit the "bad" stuff to special occassions and be dedicated to exercising and moving...

If outside forces are telling you need to lose weight and that was your reason, it's not going to work, it only works if the desire comes from within.

5 pounds in 4 weeks is outstanding, that's 1.25 pounds a week!!!

The ultimate decision is yours, you can keep going as honestly you barely have even started or give up, go back to bad habits and be content with you body the way it is/getting bigger.

The timing may indeed not be right. You can look at my join date- I didn't get serious until january 2013 on here, and lost some weight in late november/ December half-a**ed logging as well.

Something finally just clicked for me. I am averaging just over a pound a week. I have days where I am incredibly impatient and frustrated (like today) but I am not giving up!

Angellaree

I am happier being fat and being able to eat whatever I want.

I made that exact choice a few years ago. Dieting was too hard and progress was too slow.

You know why? Because I was MAKING it too hard and setting my expectations too high. I was eating too little, which made it unsustainable and unsatisfying.

THIS time around, I was never hungry or dissatisfied. I ate foods I loved, but in portions that allowed me to have a calorie deficit. Because that's all you need. A deficit. It doesn't have to be a huge deficit, just a deficit. Well... not ALL you need. You need time and patience, too.

So you lost five pounds in a month. That's pretty normal. Where do you want to be in 12 months? The same place you are now, or down 60 pounds?

This! Exactly this.