Thought I'd share my story of how I got here

AmyK2003

I decided that today would be a good day to share my story. So here we go. Growing up I had a great metabolism and a sweet tooth to boot. I could eat whatever I wanted and not have to worry about my weight. Around junior high, my mom started being concerned that I was too skinny and would actually follow me to the bathroom after meals to make sure that I hadn't developed an eating disorder (I had not.) I was never really concerned with my weight in my teens and was usually around 10lbs of the weight that I should be. I wasn't necessarily as toned as I could have been, but I wasn't preoccupied with my looks back then (oh how times have changed!!) Life kinda changed in a big way when I was 18 and in college. I found out that I was pregnant. So, one month and 6 days after I turned 19, after a difficult pregnancy and an emergency c-section, I gave birth to my son Aidan, who is way too much like his mama. With my pregnancy I only gained about 20-25 lbs. I'd usually bounced around between 135 and 140lbs. When I gave birth, I was 160lbs. The weight didn't necessarily fall off and I wasn't very occupied with losing it. (I was a 19 year old single mother after all!) A few months after giving birth, I met a guy and began dating him. (I’m not naming names.) We would end up being together for a little over 2 years, but the relationship was not a good one. He wasn't the guy I should have been with and I wasn't the kind of woman that he really wanted either. In the process, he said some things that weren't exactly flattering and I began to believe them like the young and naïve girl I was at the time. I became very self-conscious and subconsciously began to gain weight to show my ex that I didn’t need to do what he tried to shame me into doing. Over the last few years, I’ve progressively added pounds and had a string of unsuccessful relationships in the process. The last year has been particularly hard with my being diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues as well as experiencing painful ovarian cysts. In the last few months I have realized quite a few things about myself. Primarily that I never gained weight because of my ex, like I thought. I, like many other young girls, grew up watching Disney movies and romantic comedies and truly believe in the concept of “the one”. I’ve realized that I used my weight gain as an excuse as to why my romantic relationships did not work out. It was always their fault, not mine. They were too superficial anyways. If I had my weight, I wouldn't have to face that the relationships may not have worked because of who I am as a person. Now I know that I want to make myself my best self before I try to find my best fit. I want to change my lifestyle and I hope to make some great life decisions along the way. I’ve signed up for two 5Ks (one in April and one in June.) I’m around 200lbs now and have a goal of weighing around 130lbs by the end of 2013.

So what’s your story?

Also, feel free to join my Facebook group for weight loss support and motivation Losing It!
https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/groups/203967379735366/

liv_skehan

Self realisation is hard at the best of times, and to openly share it, you are very brave and I wish you every success! You are definitely in the right frame of mind!! Good luck!