Goal setting - I don't *want* to be skinny!
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no ones judging skinny people
Actually, yeah. They are.
OP did it, even.have various bones sticking out all over the place
Regardless. I would rather LOOK THIN than be able to do 100 push-ups or run a marathon (or whatever arbitrary fitness goal one determines to make their weight loss goals superior to anyone else's). For me it is about aesthetics. That's not shallow. That's my prerogative. Sticking your nose in the air at that is like asking, "Why don't you want to be a kindergarten teacher in an inner city school to help troubled youth?!" when my career path is engineering. Because I don't. And that's my choice. Why the judgment on my personal values???
Yep. Another thread started with a skinny people suck statement. Good times!
That's not what I intended at all. I just don't want my goal to be having my hip bones protrude or be one of the "help! My thighs touch!" people...0 -
I feel like OP judged to goal of being 'skinny' way more than the people who want to look that way.
My main goal is to actually be able to run a whole mile (something I've never been able to do without walking) and to fit into my old jeans, the number I've assigned is just how much I used to weigh when I wore those jeans. I wish I was curvier and looked alright at this size, but I've had people mistake me for pregnant, which I am in no way ready for, hahah.
I don't need collarbones, but I don't mind if someone else does as long as they get there in a healthy way. And I feel like OP is similar, she just stated it in a way that sounded alright to her but was picked up as offensive.
Edit : Okay, maybe not with the 'Help, my thighs touch" comment
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I geuss I just think people look best healthy, skinny doesnt look healthy on me, but it may on you. Whatever is best for you.
So you think Olympic athletes and dancers look unhealthy?
Ok cool...
She never said that, though. Did you not read? She said skinny may look healthy on you. It's right there.0 -
Getting back to the idea of goal weights: the great thing about weight, and weight loss and gain, is that it doesn't have to be final. You can choose a random number, get there, then change your mind. You can even get there, wait a few years, and then change your mind, up or down.
We don't have to 'diet' once and stick to that weight forever.0 -
On the other hand, isn't this just a form of letting vanity determine your size, too? How do I determine what's healthy vs. what I find attractive?
When you get to a point where you look in a mirror and like what you see, you've reached goal. There's really no big deal about setting a magical number right now. Set your goal somewhere in the general vicinity of where you think you want to be and work to get to it. As you get closer, you'll make adjustments either in your program or to the GW that you set.
Goal weight is just a random number we pull out of the sky. Don't spend much time worrying about random numbers.
^^ This
My mirror is my guideline. I entered 150 for my goal weight on MFP just because that's what I was weighing when I was 20 and married my husband. When I get to 150, I will reassess, using my mirror as a guide.0 -
no ones judging skinny people
Actually, yeah. They are.
OP did it, even.have various bones sticking out all over the place
Regardless. I would rather LOOK THIN than be able to do 100 push-ups or run a marathon (or whatever arbitrary fitness goal one determines to make their weight loss goals superior to anyone else's). For me it is about aesthetics. That's not shallow. That's my prerogative. Sticking your nose in the air at that is like asking, "Why don't you want to be a kindergarten teacher in an inner city school to help troubled youth?!" when my career path is engineering. Because I don't. And that's my choice. Why the judgment on my personal values???
Yep. Another thread started with a skinny people suck statement. Good times!
I think that's silly. The OP stated what she wanted for *her* body. She never once said that others didn't look great or should have the same goals as her. Grab some self-esteem and stop inferring things that were never implied. She simply said that it seems to her that her goals were different than most of the other females on MFP. She did NOT say that other people's goals were wrong!0 -
no ones judging skinny people
Actually, yeah. They are.
OP did it, even.have various bones sticking out all over the place
Regardless. I would rather LOOK THIN than be able to do 100 push-ups or run a marathon (or whatever arbitrary fitness goal one determines to make their weight loss goals superior to anyone else's). For me it is about aesthetics. That's not shallow. That's my prerogative. Sticking your nose in the air at that is like asking, "Why don't you want to be a kindergarten teacher in an inner city school to help troubled youth?!" when my career path is engineering. Because I don't. And that's my choice. Why the judgment on my personal values???
Yep. Another thread started with a skinny people suck statement. Good times!
I think that's silly. The OP stated what she wanted for *her* body. She never once said that others didn't look great or should have the same goals as her. Grab some self-esteem and stop inferring things that were never implied. She simply said that it seems to her that her goals were different than most of the other females on MFP. She did NOT say that other people's goals were wrong!
I disagree. The comment about various bones sticking out all over the place was a bit offensive. I'm 5'1" 116 lbs and don't have any bones protruding. I'm skinny AND healthy0 -
Trying to work out a good goal weight, and I've come to the realisation that unlike seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be super skinny, fit single-digit clothing and have various bones sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.
I'd like to be a healthy weight, but that's all. I like the fact that I've got an hourglass figure, though it could do with being a little more pinched in the middle. It took my a while to come to terms with the fact that I have a feminine body - as a child/teenager, I desperately wanted to be a man. Not because I felt like I was one, but simply because they got to do all the cool stuff. Now I'm slowly realising that with the right friends, your gender doesn't stop you from that...
I enjoy having good functional strength (but don't lift weights because it bores me to tears, just like I don't do cardio on treadmills.) And I definitely don't want food to rule my life.
On the other hand, isn't this just a form of letting vanity determine your size, too? How do I determine what's healthy vs. what I find attractive?
This is such a good post. I don't want to be skinny either. I have been in that place with very prominent collar bones, hip bones and cheek bones. It may have looked good but it didn't feel good.
Like you, I prefer working toward being lean and strong. That takes discipline, hard work and proper eating habits. It's much harder for me to achieve the lean, athletic look than then protruding bones look.0 -
She never said that, though. Did you not read? She said skinny may look healthy on you. It's right there.
Ok I admit I missed the "on me" part....but I kind of think that people tag "on me" onto the end of a sentence just to deflect that they actually ARE being judgemental of that look in general. It's just a underhand way of saying that they really think - just saying!0 -
aim for a higher range of healthy bmi, and acceptable range of body fat %, chances are, you shall be at your goal body shape.do your own research, internet is a nice tool when handled with reason and prudence. good luck.
edited to add, bones sticking out has got lotta do with your genes, i'm 5'2.5" and 170 lbs:blushing: yet my coller bone, a little bit of hip bone stick out, my neck , ankles and wrists are skinny!( and i like rounded arms , so lovely with bangles)..0 -
This. I set a goal based on where I thought I wouldn't have too many wrinkles. Then when I got there, I decided I wanted to go lower. Changed my goal 2 more times, then when I got to "goal" kept losing while I tried to figure out how much I needed to eat to maintain. Settled at what became goal #4. I like it here even tho some consider me "skinny." Just keep going until you are happy.
On the other hand, isn't this just a form of letting vanity determine your size, too? How do I determine what's healthy vs. what I find attractive?
When you get to a point where you look in a mirror and like what you see, you've reached goal. There's really no big deal about setting a magical number right now. Set your goal somewhere in the general vicinity of where you think you want to be and work to get to it. As you get closer, you'll make adjustments either in your program or to the GW that you set.
Goal weight is just a random number we pull out of the sky. Don't spend much time worrying about random numbers.0 -
My collarbones, rib bones and hip bones protrude no matter what I weigh. I have big bones. And I'm a single digit size. Guess I'm a hideous monster. :sad: Oh why did I open this thread?0
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She never said that, though. Did you not read? She said skinny may look healthy on you. It's right there.
Ok I admit I missed the "on me" part....but I kind of think that people tag "on me" onto the end of a sentence just to deflect that they actually ARE being judgemental of that look in general. It's just a underhand way of saying that they really think - just saying!
Not really.
I find that women with muscles can be very beautiful [I picked this because I don't know anyone who has their goal to be really thin, but I do know some who want to build muscles]. But it's not something I would like to have for my own body. It's a personal preference. Same with being any shape at all that someone sets their goal as.
I have my own person goal that I think would work "on me" and there's nothing wrong with that. Just like there's nothing wrong with someone else having a different goal. It's not judgmental, it's knowing what you want for your own body.0 -
She didn't say ALL skinny girls are gross and have bones sticking out everywhere. She said SHE doesn't want to be "super-skinny" and "have bones sticking out". I sincerely doubt she meant all skinny women look like that. I think she just meant to say she doesn't want to look emaciated, which isn't healthy for ANYONE, and she wasn't sure what she should set for her goal weight. She didn't say nobody's bones should stick out. She just doesn't want HERS to stick out, so she wants help finding a goal weight range that would leave just enough padding to prevent that.
I kind of get what she's saying because there are people who sort of crinkle their nose when I say my goal weight is 157. They say, "Isn't that a bit too much for your height? Shouldn't it be 125-130?" No, because 125-130 on my frame and body type would make me look emaciated. The OP phrased it as "super-skinny with bones sticking out", but it was easy for me to figure out what she meant, mostly because we have the same body type and I get where she's coming from. I think it was just a misunderstanding.0 -
oh no, your abs will atone for any " boney sin",cheer up Gigibeans:drinker:My collarbones, rib bones and hip bones protrude no matter what I weigh. I have big bones. And I'm a single digit size. Guess I'm a hideous monster. :sad: Oh why did I open this thread?0 -
Ok I admit I missed the "on me" part....but I kind of think that people tag "on me" onto the end of a sentence just to deflect that they actually ARE being judgemental of that look in general. It's just a underhand way of saying that they really think - just saying!
Not really. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.0 -
Trying to work out a good goal weight, and I've come to the realisation that unlike seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be super skinny, fit single-digit clothing and have various bones sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.
In an attempt to explain what you desire for yourself, you insulted so many people with the above statement. Was that really necessary? I am small. I have prominent collar and hip bones, I was just built that way. I also have the unfortunate tendency for being small breasted, but I deal. I wear a size 4/6. And yet, I am not super skinny. I don't think I look so bad, but according to you, I must be hideous. I'm supportive of your goal to look & feel great, but it's hard to not feel insulted when my body type is attacked like that.0 -
I've kept my hourglass curves. Now I am a size 4 hourglass instead of a size 16 hourglass. The only difference is that I was tending toward an apple shape at the top of my weight gain.
I say this just to reinforce the concept that our basic shape/frame doesn't change much except at the unhealthy ends of the spectrum.
I'd look into bmi calculations along with bodyfat percentages.
And unfortunately you won't spot reduce the waist. It only gets smaller as you get smaller all over.0 -
I disagree. The comment about various bones sticking out all over the place was a bit offensive. I'm 5'1" 116 lbs and don't have any bones protruding. I'm skinny AND healthy
I think you are reading that wrong. Those of us who do want to get skinny look for bones as markers of success. We often talk about the appearance of the hip bone. Also, the clavicle. It's just how we discuss our weight loss. I didn't start off fat. I was just at the upper end of a normal weight range. I began where this OP wants to be. I am cutting my body fat to a low level and bones are the markers of success.
I do not think that much fat is attractive. OP does not think so little fat is attractive. End of thing. There is nothing to argue about there.
If you have bones that stick out but didn't try to get them, you are not being discussed.
She's talking about trying to get the bones and how she doesn't want to do that.0
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