Did I ruin my metabolism? How to lose weight again?

strongandskinnysoon

I will try to make a long story short!

Back in 2010, when I was 15 (almost 16), I started trying to lose weight. By spring 2011 I was working out about 1 hour a day, eating 1200 cals, and losing weight. I hit my goal weight of 98lbs (I'm 5'0), and everyone was telling me I was too thin. At this point I was in a pretty disordered state of mind, and strictly controlled everything. So I upped my calories to 1600 but was still losing.

Around fall 2011, I started binging...a lot. I would eat cookie dough, chocolate, etc. I would hate myself for not eating "clean". By winter I started purging and so started bulimia and my weight gain. In January 2012, my weight was up just over 100lbs and I desperately wanted to lose weight. I kept trying and failing to eat 1200 calories (because of the binges and purges). By summer 2012, those were more under control, but I was still above where I wanted to be.

September 2012 I was 108lbs....over the first semester of school I ballooned and am now about 120lbs. I did have a brief lapse of purging (but less binging) from about January to February, but for the most part I have not done that. My main problem has been snacking a lot, especially at night. Even then, over the past few months there has been now way I have been eating more than 1500 calories a day, yet I still am not losing weight. I work out pretty much on a daily basis (usually 30-45mins of circuit training).
I hate my body so much, and am terribly ashamed of it. I can't seem to shed the weight again. I want to be 98lbs again by the end of May... I look so gross in pictures. I keep setting goals (in December, it was to be at least 100lbs for my 18th birthday, but that's next week).

I get 5 to 7 hours of sleep per night (usually closer to 6 and a half). My schedule is way too busy to afford more sleep time than that.

My confusion is mainly this: I may not have been sticking to 1200 calories a day, but I definitely have not been eating maintenance, yet I am not losing weight. How can I start losing again? I am so frustrated and upset.

Thank you!

georgina1970

98lbs is too low, especially if those you love are worried about you. 120lbs is still within the healthy weight range, so don't fall for all those magazine images that have been altered in photoshop. I suggest you eat at maintenance level (will help you fix your metabolism) and start a weights/resistance programme to improve your body shape.
I believe you have an eating disorder as well and recommend that you see your Doctor or school psychologist.

blakedebo

This is coming from a place of love and support- get counseling before you actively try and lose weight, this may help you do this in a healthy manner. Best of luck!

angieleighbyrd

please see a therapist.

savithny

I absolutely agree with the otehrs about the importance of you getting help to handle your eating and weight in a haelthy manner.

To address something else you said in your post -- I understand being ridiculously busy and not giving enough time to sleep, but I just read a really good book on the subject, and it made it very clear, with 30+ years of real research backng it up, that it is vital to prioritize sleep. People your age really need at least 8-9 hours to be healthy, and getting as little as you are, for so long, can actually contribute to your eating disorder. Long term sleep deprivation raises cortisol, raises insulin levels, and lowers leptin. Lowered leptin can contribute to binging. It also deeply affects your cognitive skills and can make anxiety and depression much, much worse. I'd urge you to try an experiment, and rearrange your day to let yourself get enough sleep.

ottermotorcycle

See a therapist. Talk to someone. If you want, you can message me.

You have ruined your metabolism. It's not impossible to get it back, but you need to work on your mental health first. It's so important. Please try to stop counting calories, and my best advice is to stop doing cardio. Focus on strength training. Lift weights, fuel your workouts with a snack before AND after every one, build muscle and you'll start getting your metabolism back in shape. Eat all the time. You'll feel like you're eating constantly, and your mind will tell you that you can't do that because you'll get fat. Fight that voice. It's lying to you. You're not fat, you're not going to be fat, you've probably never been fat. You're going to get strong and healthy because your body needs food.

collectingblues

Throughout any of this have you seen a therapist or a psychologist? You need treatment for your eating disorder. I know it's scary to think about not continuing your current disordered patterns, but you need help -- I've been there, and now, even though the thought process may still be there at times, the behaviors aren't, and I know that eating 1,600 calories won't hurt me -- and neither will 2,200 on some days.

That said, 120 pounds is a perfectly healthy weight for your age, and weights can yo yo after struggling with an eating disorder. I used to be ED-NOS with anorexic tendencies (Basically, thanks to having two autoimmune conditions, my weight never dropped to the point of being clinically underweight, so despite having all the other DSM-IV criteria, I wasn't "assigned" an anorexic diagnosis), and now, five years into recovery, I'm borderline overweight because my body finally said, "Screw you. I'll show you who's boss." You need to give your metabolism time to heal and recover, and that includes giving *you* time to heal and recover with a therapist or psychologist who is familiar with eating disorders.

geekyjock76

Collectiveblu is right. Despite your periodic weight gain, you have more than likely spent the majority of the last 2 plus years restricting calories. The endocrine system is not meant to endure such low energy availibility chronically without spending adequate time in a maintenance state of energy balance for it to properly recover. Aside from binges, you may have simply regained a disproportionate amount of fat mass as a result of a lowered Resting Metabolic Rate which was maintained too long.

Most importantly, you should seek counseling as others have suggested. Aside from that, it would benefit you to at least consume true maintenance level of calories to allow recovery of your endocrine system. Engaging in calorie restriction doesn't just affect your metabolism if done during adolescence - it can also negatively affect the reproductive system and bone mass density if the deficit is large enough and sustained long-term.