"You don't need to lose weight"

Junisahn

I'm so sick and tired of hearing this! My parents come for dinner, and my mom watches as I make up my plate - loads of veggies, bit of meat, bit of potato, and comments on it. After lots of evasion ("no - this is enough for me" - "that's all I want") I finally tell her that I'm watching what I eat, so she'll get her off my back. Like everyone, her first comment is "You don't need to lose weight."

It makes me feel like I have an eating disorder or something, which I don't . Yeah - technically, I don't NEED to lose weight to be healthy. I AM healthy. BUT, I WANT to lose weight to be back to my pre-pregnancy size. Geesh - it's just 8 lbs, and it's not like I'm looking to have a bmi under 18 o something unhealthy - just looking to get closer to the body I had last year so I don't have to spend a bundle on new clothes (I HATE to shop more than anything - losing weight is the more attractive option to me, believe it or not).

My mom came around to my view, and was really interested in all I knew about portion sizes, resting metabolism, etc. because SHE wants to lose about 15 lbs, herself. However, other people who notice that I'm watching what I eat are not so kind, and just continue to go on about how skinny I am. It really grates on me.

Just wanted to vent...

AlannaPie

I understand. My family doesn't give me that though. My parents are very neutral and my grandmother wont hesitate to call you a fat cow. My boyfriend is the "You don't need to lose weight." I'm glad he loves me body no matter what, especially since I'm sure when I'm older I'll probably slink closer to where I am not - BUT I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH MYSELF

renae5

So funny, I just posted on my Facebook this morning.. "If one more person tells me I am too skinny I swear I am going to jump up and Bite 'em. Too skinny?... wait, let me turn around so you can check out my *kitten*... yea, that's what I thought!"
I need to lose alot more than you but considering where i was 2 years ago I guess people assume I have doen a good job and should be done. I figure as long as I feel better (and You) then everything is fine!!

kwardklinck

Skinny people watch what they eat too. That's probably why they're skinny. :P I have to keep telling people I'm on maintenance because they still question my food choices. I plan to keep this weight off thank you very much.

stylistchik

I despise the word skinny! I totally feel the same way. I've always been healthy and into working out but I'm short - if I weighed 130 even I'd be pushing healthy to its limits. I'm not skinny. I am small. I am healthy. And I will probably live longer than whoever puts me down. :drinker: I agree with the maintenance thing too. Its a lifelong habit - not a diet. I work hard to stay healthy I'm not 'just lucky.'

lula28

Sometimes it is important to listen to what your loved ones say. They will always have your best interest in mind, and they may notice something you don't. It is VERY possible to be too skinny, especially once you feel the satisfaction from losing weight. Be careful and safe, and take care of your body.

Alysgrma

Here is one for you....I went out on my first date in 15+ years. The guy & I had been talking on the phone and we really hit it off. He likes "bigger" women...I thought GREAT!!!
We met and he got really distant fast. I asked him what was wrong...He said I WASN'T BIG ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have not gone out on another date since...just don't know if it is worth the pain yet.
Mary

chocolateandvodka

why did this show up twice?

chocolateandvodka

So funny, I just posted on my Facebook this morning.. "If one more person tells me I am too skinny I swear I am going to jump up and Bite 'em. Too skinny?... wait, let me turn around so you can check out my *kitten*... yea, that's what I thought!"
I need to lose alot more than you but considering where i was 2 years ago I guess people assume I have doen a good job and should be done. I figure as long as I feel better (and You) then everything is fine!!

dude. it's like you just took the words straight out of my mouth. when i first started dieting a year ago i got lots of "nods & smiles" of people who felt like they were indulging me in my fantasy. 50 lbs later, the same people that said i'd never get the weight off are now telling me to stop when i'm only halfway to my goal. note: this is usually from those who are overweight themselves, but would rather have cookies every day than try to do anything about it.

cdavis1126

Who gives a crap about what other people think? I didn't care when I weighed 294 lbs and I sure don't care now. I've lost 66 lbs and feel awesome but i still have a way to go. If someone says something negative, I very kindly with a smile on my face, ask them to please keep their opinions to themselves, it will save us all a headache. That always shuts them up and they rarely ever open their mouth again. I'm doing this for ME, not my husband, not my family, not my friends. Just ME. I come first and everyone else can go jump in the lake.

jmathews

I can relate 100% to all the above posts. Everyone, I mean everyone (this includes people I barely know), keep asking me if I'm trying to lose more weight. I tell them I'm maintaining but I can't stop watching what I eat or exercising because then I'll be right back where I was a year ago. It's a lifestyle change!!! BTW-I don't like being called skinny either, I'd rather be called FIT.

KateDonnelly

Keep making those healthy choices! FIT FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:happy:

AlannaPie

EVRYONE should watch what they eat no matter what. It's called being healthy. And of course skinny people watch what they eat. They say one of the tricks of staying thin is to weigh yourself often so you know to adjust your eating if there's a little gain

auttyfrmca

Right there with you. I have 10 pounds to lose. People tell me "you don't need to lose weight just tone up a bit". I feel like I have become a little obsessed with it....it's a short period my life where i would like to lose weight so I can get things done I want to get done...the quicker I do it the quicker I can get pregnant (silly isn't it., lose weight to get pregnant) I just want to be pre baby #2 before I get preggo with baby #3 so there's not so much to do after....I've been there done that. So i'm working hard I guess not really obsessed!
I work with someone who thinks I'm stupid for losing weight....she says she just can't and has tried everything. (she's probably 250+, I can't really tell) She tells me I'm skinny and don't need to lose it. I say I'm not comfortable to wear a bikini and I swim all summer and wear a bikini.
THAT"S THAT!!!

KellyBurton1

One thing I've learned over the past few years is how well my body feels after I exercise and eat properly. Theres no better feeling in the world than that. You have put there comments in one ear and out the other because maybe your family doesnt know what its all really about. My family didnt either until I informed them the difference. I then inpired them to watch what they eat as well. Do what is best for you and that is all that matters.

jaylu

i can totally relate! i'm a small person- just about 5ft1 so any little bit of extra weight shows up real easy! i love to run and eat healthy because it makes me feel great but don't get me wrong i indulge as well i couldn't do without ice cream!
my dad hardly ever lets up about how thin he thinks i am one morning i went to visit him and he asked if i would like a cup of tea, i said i'd love one thanks, he was also making a morning snack for himself (it was around 10ish) so i grabbed an apple and he started on a rant and tried to make me eat one of the 3 sausage rolls he was tucking into... eh no thank you!, apart from being the most horrible tasting food item around there isn't one bit of goodness in them, that thing would have sat like a rock in my stomach the whole day!
the bulling you have to put up with for wanting to take of your body is unbelievable sometimes!

Barneystinson

Honestly though, to keep weight off over the long term, you have to be a little "obsessed" with what you eat. I've maintained a pretty consistent healthy weight range and the times I'm not so obsessed or caring, 5, 10, 15 pounds sneak up on me. Kind of like my current weight...it was the result of not being so diligent and indulging entirely too much in the wrong foods, mostly processed stuff. I'm another one that a little bit of weight means a lot - I'm short. It shows easily.

Sure, family will always try to be "helpful" and tell you you're fine at the weight you're at, especially if you're near your goal weight - maybe within 15 pounds. It's most always family members that have a weight or food problem themselves. There are always guilt trips at family dinners when you ask for fruit instead of cake or more vegetables and meat instead of the rolls. Most of them also find me a nutcase because I eat pretty low carb. I'm apparently killing myself by not eating bread.

Yeah. Geez.

So yeah, there's definitely a lot of people here in the same boat

questionablemethods

I can relate.

First, like others have said, even maintaining requires watching what you eat. You might not feel the need to be as strict or you might be able to stop logging because you just sort of know what a good day looks like and what a bad day looks like, you are still "watching what you eat." A lot of people with no idea of how to eat healthily have this idea that "watching what you eat" automatically means a strict diet. It doesn't. It can just mean "Hey, I don't want to get fat, okay!"

The second, related, issue is the people who will start to make snide remarks about how you are "too thin" or whatever. Yes, I agree that weight loss can definitely be taken to the extreme. Obviously it is possible to be too thin. I have gotten this comment myself though and the lowest weight I have ever been as an adult is 125 (5'3") -- that is NOT too thin! That is smack in the middle of a healthy BMI. I think a lot of times these comments are coming from people who want some kind of reassurance or implicit permission to be as heavy as they are. Among friends and family especially there can be this unspoken agreement that we are all going to be "fat and happy" and when someone decides to break out of that mold, others can feel threatened because it can shed light on just how unhealthy they might really be.