New life.

nibiruuuuu

Hi. My name's Mary. I'm turning 25 tomorrow. And I want the next quarter century of my life to be way different than the first.
The first quarter, I've been overweight for most of. I've developed some pretty back problems. And as a result, I gained A LOT of weight. I went from being active at 135-ish pounds at 5'6", to eating the same as always and being inactive. And at my heaviest I was around 200. I'm at about 195, now. I'm very insecure about myself, because I used to have an eating disorder and I was very very small for most of my teenage years, until these back problems showed up. But I promised myself I'd never ever go there again. I nearly died from my eating disorder, because I was eating only 1,000 calories A WEEK in attempt to be accepted and love myself.
But that never happened. And I'm still looking to love myself. Because my insecurities get in the way of my relationships. I think that no one could ever love me, etc.
I have a boyfriend right now. And he hates how much I hate my body. He thinks I'm beautiful, but I don't believe him when he says it. It definitely effects the relationship.

And I try to lose weight and diet all the time, but I get so stressed with everything else going on in my life and just can't keep up with it. So, I decided to come here. See if this site will help keep me on track. I've never met anyone it's helped. I kind of just found it on my own. Also, it's sort of an interesting situation. I can't really work out much, so like 80% of my weight loss is going to have to be my diet and the other 20% is probably going to be light aerobics.

So yeah. I was wondering if this site has helped anyone else?
And I'm really interested in hearing other peoples' stories.
I was also wondering if anyone had a similar story. Back problems or other health complications that keep them from working out?

nancycaregiver

Hi and welcome! You have certainly faced a lot of trials in your young life! But look at you!! You have persevered! You not only survived an eating disorder...you beat it!! You will never be able to believe your boyfriend when he tells you that you're beautiful or that he loves you until you learn to love yourself and learn that beauty has nothing to do with body image! You can work on your weight to become healthy but you also need to work on you inner self. That being said, when you feel better about the way you look, you have more confidence and feel better overall.

You can add me as a friend if you'd like. I've been using MFP for just over a year. I've lost 75.4 pounds and I'm only 7.6 pounds to goal. Logging everyday and seeing what you are eating is a big help. Also, the people on here are very supportive. The forums are good if you don't take things personally. There is a lot of sarcasm but most of it is entertaining! I'm on here everyday and would love to cheer you on! Good luck!
Nancy