Don't eat

drugrug

My daily calorie intake is supposed to 1,360 calories. But I've been eating under the 1,200 calorie limit and netting around 900 calories a day because I feel like I'd be eating too much. Even when I do get hungry I tell myself not to eat because I am still unhappy with my body. I'm recovering from an ed and I'm still very cautious about what I eat. I used to eat no more than 200-300 calories a day so eating this much is a good thing. But should I be eating more? Is my calorie intake unhealthy?

leighann881

You obviously know that you aren't eating enough since you posted that you should be at 1360 calories. Intermittent fasting can be beneficial but eating only 900 calories a day is only going to shut down your metabolism.

Are you supposed to be counting calories if you are recovering from an ED? What are you currently eating?

Please try to remind yourself that you have to eat to live. If you choose healthy whole foods then you are going to feel great and look good too.

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

I would suggest seeing a therapist if you are not already. I think a professional could help you more than strangers on the internet, but my advice (other than that) would be to try to slowly up your calories so you don't feel uncomfortable. Another poster mentioned intermittent fasting, and I was reading about a diet called the 5:2 diet where you eat 600 calories for two non-consecutive days and the other five you eat up to maintenance. That might be a good transition for you since you're recovering from an ED.

Best of luck.

WeatherGirl8

You should definitely be eating more. At least to 1370 and then beyond. Eating below your BMR isn't enough.

drugrug

I can't seem to let myself eat that much, even though I know I should. I religiously count my calories because I wan't to log what I eat and make sure I'm eating enough (even though I am not). I just don't want to gain a lot of weight. When I used to eat 300 calories a day I was loosing a lot of weight (I've gained some since then) so I guess it didn't shut down my metabolism and my food log is public so you can see. Thanks for the feedback!

angmarie28

I just peeked at your profile and am wondering why you want to weigh 105, you are 5'7", as am I, and 105 is too low, you need to work on getting healthy, start with a healthy amount of food, I would also suggest a tharapist to help you out, and maybe a nutritionist to teach you how to eat healthy.

mfpcopine

1200 is fine for many people. But given your history and your feelings about your body, you should eat 1360. You should also seek counseling.

drugrug

I am seeing a therapist but not for that reason. I've thought about telling her about it but I never seem to have the courage.

leighann881

You are almost there looking at your food logs. Throw some all natural peanut butter on your bread and you will get some healthy fats and extra yummy calories.

drugrug

Good idea. I love peanut butter! Thanks

carlysuzanne85

I commend you for the progress you have already made. Going from 300 calories a day to netting almost 1000 is huge progress. You should be eating more, yes, but you have made some great and positive changes. You should be proud. I do hope you will seek professional help but also feel so good about what you have done on your own. Feel free to friend me if you're looking for positivity and support

ETA: tell your therapist, as scary as that is. Tell your therapist. The best thing I've ever done in my life is admit I needed help and then be honest with my therapist about it once I was there.

mfpcopine

I am seeing a therapist but not for that reason. I've thought about telling her about it but I never seem to have the courage.

You should definitely raise this issue with your therapist.

Is 900 unhealthy? It is definitely on the low side. What sounds unhealthy is your attitude towards food. But you have access to a professional who is meeting with you in person; nothing beats that.

DandelionCupcakes

I had this issue for awhile, too :x

But I found just adding stuff to the meals I was eating helped, stuff that made me feel healthy :] Instead of eating granola with milk I'd eat it with yogurt. Put peanut butter on things like a previous poster suggested. You don't need to eat more frequently, just bulk up what you do eat a little But with good stuff! Not telling you to deep fry your lettuce or anything XD

Recognize that any feelings of guilt related to eating are coming from a part of you that might not be the healthiest, so maybe really try to take a deep breath and try to talk to your therapist about these feelings Even posting it here takes a lot of courage, and I admire you for that.

Good luck

pterradactyl

Good job for doing as good as you are--that is definitely an improvement from 300 a day! You should probably try to get closer to your 1,300 goal, but it's great that you are trying to eat more at all. It sucks to be so unhappy with your body, but not eating isn't the answer. It'd probably be a good idea to mention it to your therapist, I'm sure having someone who could help you try and rethink the situation would be easier than going at it alone. Good luck!

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

I am seeing a therapist but not for that reason. I've thought about telling her about it but I never seem to have the courage.

You've had the courage to share it with us, and some people on this site will not be nearly as nice as your therapist will be. I have seen a therapist before (for a different reason) so I know how hard it is to get yourself to bring up a sensitive topic, but that's what they're there for. Give yourself a peptalk and go through with it. Just know that it WILL NOT be as bad as you think it will be.

Another suggestion, put the scale away for right now. I understand that you're used to losing on such a low calorie diet, but you're not helping your body at all. And the scale is not the best indication of how you're doing. Take your measurements and take pictures of yourself to really track your progress. And I agree with the poster who said your goal weight will be too little for your body. 105 is a healthy weight for somebody who is my height (5'3) or shorter. Maybe you should look into lifting weights and toning up instead of losing actual weight.

fitfreakymom

I am 5'7 and 105 is way to low, you will look like a rack of bones. Aim for 125 to 130.

drugrug

I read "you will look like a crack head" I was like wut. Thanks! I will be more realistic about my weight

cmriverside

I am seeing a therapist but not for that reason. I've thought about telling her about it but I never seem to have the courage.

You need to face your Giants. You'll never get well until you do.



Also, these types of posts are not really allowed on this site. If you are in recovery that's one thing, but you are not.

gimpygramma

From your profile I see that you are 5'7" and that your goal weight is 105lbs. Though you may have made progress in your battle with your eating disorder, this desire to be very underweight suggests that you have more work to do. I too would encourage you to discuss these issues with your therapist.

drugrug

I actually am in recovery....sooo...yeah

MaraDiaz

I was just thinking today, wow, the last time my weight was this low, I starved myself half to death getting here. I can't believe I actually managed to lose with a sensible deficit this time. I feel so much better than I did when I was starving. So much saner, too. Not eating is a recipe for some serious cranky.

I hope you can get your brain to wrap itself around the concept of losing a pound or two a week (if you are currently medically overweight, that is!). Life is so much better when you don't have to ask yourself, "Can I drive on the freeway today without risking passing out from hunger and dying?"

drugrug

Haha that's awesome! You're an inspiration

fitfreakymom

lol not really sure what a crack head looks like lol but I think you would just look really skinny at 105, I personally would not be able to function.

NaurielR

I weigh 105 lbs. I am 4'11", and people tell me that I am skinny, so I think that your goal is unreasonable. In fact, I would recommend throwing away your scale. You're not counting calories so that you can hit a number on a scale, you're wanting to be able to look in the mirror and like what you see. That's not easy for anyone, ed or not. Food is not the issue here, I don't think (I am not a psychologist, nor am I in any way more qualified than the average joe to speak on this topic. I'm just speaking from experience and how I see things). The issue here is your image of yourself. You have to relearn to enjoy eating a healthy amount, to relearn that food is not the enemy. Food is fuel. Food keeps your body strong. Food will keep you fit. I have struggled with disordered eating in the past, and although I have a much heathier outlook on food than i did in the past, I still have my moments.

The process of eating healthier takes time, but it can be done. Baby steps helped me. I used too little. Eventually, after months of exhaustion and horrible mood swings, I decided to up my calories. It was only by 100, but for the next couple weeks I felt guilty. But eventually I grew to accept my new calorie limit. I no longer felt guilty about eating that much. I was able to up my calories by 100again. And then I did it again. And you know what? I haven't gained any weight. I actually might have to up my calories again, because I'm at maintenance now and am still losing a little weight (btw, I eat 1550 calories on days that I do t exercise. On days that I do exercise, I sometimes eat over 2000. I never thought I'd be able to eat more than 1200 without gaining weight, but that's just not true.) My body is so much happier now that I am fueling it properly. I have so much more energy and my crazy depressive mood swings have all but disappeared.

I'm sorry that my post turned into a story about me, but I hope that you can learn from my experience. Food is not the enemy, it's your own brain. Take baby steps in your recovery, and give your brain time to accept and adapt to the new, healthier way you are trying to live.

drugrug

You're wonderful :flowerforyou:

DaniH826

I'm recovering from an ed

On the contrary, I think you traded one ED for another and are headed towards anorexia ... (I used to be in the same boat, just FYI)

Go see a therapist and a nutritionist and get your head on straight please.