Too Shy...

LazyGuy91

Short and to the point, having friends on here is great for support when trying to lose weight, but I'd like to take it to a new level.

Since my breakup just over a year ago, I've become very shy with high anxiety in social places and very little self-esteem. I would love to get some friends on here that could help me with that here and there.

If anyone has (or has overcome) something similar, feel free to add me as a friend.

schroederkl

I use to painfully shy when I was a bit younger. Not sure how I could help but I'm willing to try

Xianpu27

Been coping with anxiety for about 10 years now... including social anxiety to the extent I didn't want to go out of the house at all and crowded places sent me into panic. I'm 1 million times better now, if you need any support add me, I'd love to help.

timberowl

I wish I could tell you a story about overcoming it, but I'm still dealing with it. I wish you well and you can add me if you want.

LazyGuy91

It's a real b**ch, and when I try to figure it out it feels like nothing but excuses. But in the end, the result is always the same. I recently turned 30 and am living like a shy 16 year old - getting it together is tough!

tzig00

I've never really been shy, but if you need any help sorting anything out, I'm here for ya.

LazyGuy91

Thanks

RosscoBoscko

Wouldn't say have overcome it yet, but am working my way towards trying, so feel free to add me if you like.

Christizzzle

I am working on this same sort of thing myself. It is just now starting to get easier. Strength in numbers, no?

Cr01502

Hey man.

I totally hear where you're coming from!

Have you considered an escort service by any chance?

They really help put you in new and awkward positions and get you out of your shell!

:flowerforyou:

SadKitty27

It can be rough, and I know how you feel - I truly do. I've always had social anxiety (I was diagnosed when I was a teen,) but for some reason or another (personal life changes) I was no longer able to see my therapist or get meds.

As an adult I still cope with it, even though it's gotten slightly easier over the years. The only reason I haven't revisited a therapist now as an adult is because I can't afford it.

Anyhow, I've always had low self esteem (still do,) and I'm just about the most socially awkward person I know...I am doing my best though lol. I actually hung out with a friend just last week for the first time in 10 years (no joke, I don't get out much.)

I can tell you though, what has helped me is the Internet - I can be relatively outgoing online, but I'm the exact opposite in person lol. It might sound silly, but video games (MMO RPG) have helped me out a great deal too (in terms of socializing, and attempting to learn how to be less socially awkward lol.)

As far as self esteem - I've honestly been trying at that too...I've been trying to do more stuff for myself (losing weight, getting new clothes, buying nice lotions and perfumes, and bath stuffs (I love baths lol.)

I figure, if I feel better I might start looking better and start being confident (that's not something I am either currently,) and if I feel good, and am confident I'm sure a positive self image / good self esteem will follow (or at least I hope lol.)



Perhaps spoiling yourself a little, and giving yourself some time to heal might be a good thing, or If you've got the means, sometimes a good therapist does wonders - just someone who'll listen even really helps too.

chubby_checkers

I'm very shy and pretty socially awkward. I have a good group of friends IRL that help a lot. Meeting new people or being in situations where I don't know anyone causes a lot of anxiety. I feel for you.

kimmianne89

I have struggled with social anxiety since I was 14/15. I was misunderstood for being a moody teen until I told my family the problem when I was 17. I find a lot of things difficult to do, and don't go to 90% of the things I'm invited to and have not lived out my life to the full. I am now 23 and trying my best to fight it and do the things I've always wanted to do.

I haven't overcome it yet, but I am much better. I am at the point I can push myself to do many things without a total panic, but still got a long way to go. Doesn't help that a lot of my 'friends' ditched me, and obviously making new friends is difficult, but I have a wonderful family, boyfriend and a few close friends that keep my life happy

tjs616

I'm not over it, but the way I've gotten better at it is pretending I'm not that person. Honestly, I go into situations and I try to be that outgoing, friendly, funny person that I feel that I should be. It used to feel totally fake, but now I actually am starting to be that person. Fake it until you make it right?

The hardest part is getting into the situation, and it always gets easier from there. There was an article on nerd fitness a couple weeks ago called "The 20-second Beast Mode Berserker Challenge" and basically it means for 20 seconds every day do one thing that you never thought you would do. Just gather all your courage and go for it, whether its trying a new machine at the gym, talking to someone you don't know, etc. It's only twenty seconds!

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/02/25/the-20-second-challenge/

quirkytizzy

Been coping with anxiety for about 10 years now... including social anxiety to the extent I didn't want to go out of the house at all and crowded places sent me into panic. I'm 1 million times better now, if you need any support add me, I'd love to help.

This is my current experience. I dislike leaving the house greatly and could, if I were able, stay home for weeks at a time. Crowded places often make me feel what I called "fuzzed out" - the noise and sound and crowds kind of shut me down and I zone out, unable to be present. Kind of like running away internally to get away from the frantic-ness of it all.

Small things help. Setting a time limit for how long I'm going to be out. Sometimes it's nothing more than an hour, somedays I can go several hours. Balancing it with home time and having a clean, comforting home to come back to. Eating while I'm out - it gives me something to do, is comforting, and is often a great reason to get together with friends.

I do better with outdoor places, so getting out often means going to a park and feeding the squirrels or geese.

And being able to come home and process it all is of dire importance to me. I journal and doing that afterwards allows any upsetting feelings to be dealt with.

I'm not there yet, but I am making progress. You can do it, too!

CrystalDreams

I too am uber shy and have severe social anxiety plus other anxieties. Some days are better than others. I was doing much better but then things happened and I got worse again. Right now I can barely go to work. I have panic attacks trying to walk into my gym. So I work out at home. Currently trying to find a doctor to help me. I can be there for you on here if you want

SadKitty27

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/02/25/the-20-second-challenge/

I love this!

chocl8girl

Sometimes I feel like losing weight has made me even MORE shy, because I have essentially lost my natural "invisibility cloak." It doesn't help that I am EXTREMELY socially awkward, and tend to say the dumbest things at ALL times.

jessmart83

As a kid and in my early 20s I was super shy to the point of panic attacks. I am now 30, and am still really shy, but trying really hard to push myself out of my comfort zone. Fell free to add me.

Ramberta

I've always been pretty extroverted, except in a party situation where I don't know many people there or something.

My brother and my boyfriend, however, are pretty much exactly like you. I don't think it's bad to be withdrawn; I don't think enough people appreciate quiet time together. However, it's no fun being the only one talking when the three of us are out to lunch either so I heckle them a little bit sometimes. They're getting better though; my brother actually calls me on the phone, and my boyfriend got animated yesterday explaining the story behind a tabletop game to me.

So, add me if you like, I can promise to encourage you to speak up by commenting on your statuses and such.

bellygoaway

Let me know if you figure this out. I am in the same boat.

AmazonRDH

OMG i've been uber shy my whole life. to the point that i'd always want to sit in the back corner at every function and not say a word, sneak in to the movies, go late to functions so i could sneek in........... a lot of people brand me as a "b word" because of how aloof i come off, but it's utter shyness. to the point when i hear poeple laughing in the distance i assume they're laughing at me. i'm getting better and better but i def know where you are coming from. here in my town there is a group of people you can join and they just all go to hang out togther, there are functions planned like happy hour here or there, etc. maybe find something there in your town???? these days i'm trying to just put my head up and love myself and tell myself if someone doesn't like me for whatever reason, that's their "f-ing" problem, not mine.......... but i know it's not that easy when shyness is just bred into you as part of your DNA. it's a life long battle, but you can work on it. something that's REALLY helped me is having a friend, who i dearly love, who is about as outgoing as they come. she gets me out of my shell and i find myself emulating her behavior. and when i see the world doesn't end when i spontaneously talk to a stranger, i'm like...... OK that was pretty cool :bigsmile:

KatieJane83

I never had severe shyness issues like social anxiety disorder, but I was EXTREMELY shy in school, all the way through high school. I had a small group of friends, and my nightmare was going to a setting with a large group of strangers!

Flash forward to now, where I'm doing a job where I will walk into businesses and strike up conversations with complete strangers as an Aflac agent, something that, if you'd asked me a year or 2 ago if I could do I would have said HELL NO! I'm walking proof that it's possible to get better, lol.

So feel free to add me

LazyGuy91

Thank you for all your comments and friend requests!

When I dont have the guts to talk IRL, im glad I can whine here!