Unsupportive spouse?

skinnybunny_x

I feel like it's kind of unfair to post about relationships, because the other person never has the chance to explain their feelings or motives.

If you don't have a lot of disposable income, I could understand his view. I don't workout at a gym, and I've got a great body. It's your dedication that will dictate your results - nothing else. You can spend $100 and buy a lot of equipment to use at home, utilize your parks and walking trails, do equipment free workouts that can be found FREE online, I could go on ...

A guy joining a gym is slightly different, because men usually need bigger weights that you may not have room to store, or don't want to pay for.

If it's your money however, then you need to tell him it's your choice. Ask him if he'd like to come along, that way you're spending time together.

As far as the headache comment ... maybe he thinks you're running yourself ragged? There's no way to tell. But my advice is to talk to your husband about it, not to the people on this forum.

baileybiddles

Well, my two suggestions are as follows.

One, you look your husband right in the eye and tell him that he has NO RIGHT to judge you for trying to better yourself. You are making good choices and bettering your mind, body and soul by doing what you're doing. He is dragging you down with his attitude and that is not fair to you or to your marriage... He should be celebrating the fact that you want to be as healthy as possible.

Two, you ignore your husband and go about your business. Let him stew and let it be, because ultimately, what matters is that you're being healthy and doing the right thing for yourself. He will get over it in time, because he has to. You are not going to the gym to impress other men. You're not going to the gym to attract other men. You are going for you and he is making this about HIM which isn't right.

My fiance is very supportive of my weight loss, but he is such a condescending jerk sometimes. Today I tweaked my knee out really badly at the gym and he laughed at me and told me it was nothing like it didn't matter. Guys are just... guys...

Hopefully I helped you out. I'm sorry you're dealing with this when you and him should both be celebrating your healthy lifestyle.

adopt321

If you're not doing anything to increase or substantiate his fears (i.e., flirting, talking about all of the guys checking you out or that you're meeting, wear inappropriate clothing to the gym, etc.) then this is his issue; not yours. He must not feel secure in your marriage to feel threatened by you going to the gym, which is unfortunate. If you haven't already, ask him to go with you. I read that you have kids. I'd also explain to him gym + kids = mental sanity = happy family!

We have, and he's admitted to feeling threatened. It hasn't helped his attitude though!

iceman7840

I had a very unsupportive fiancée who loved me being "big" so she was always against any/all of my weight loss goals. It was a very discouraging situation as I had the love of my life/girl of my dreams but the rest of my life was falling apart and I felt so miserable. She was happy with the version of me that I wasn't happy with.

After 6 years together, I made the gut wrenching decision to let her go and never looked back. I am a year and a week into my journey that I started the day we split and down 126 lbs.

It was both the best and worst decision I have ever made but I am happy with where I am at in life at the moment. It is a bitter sweet feeling and I wish more than anything I could have shared it with her.

links_slayer

sheesh. all men are a-holes amirite?

ellenkxxx

sheesh. all men are a-holes amirite?

Awww, not all of them!

Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!

rowanwood

It's probably because all those women's magazine in your house say that if your man starts working out, it means he's cheating.

Actually, I'm sort of serious. There is this notion that if you better yourself in a relationship, you are looking for a new one.