Need to change my view of being a Man

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  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
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    I TOTALLY follow what you're saying!!!! On the opposite side of that spectrum is ME!!!

    A WOMAN (in the stereotypical sense of things) is supposed to be thin, delicate and graceful. But I want to be like She-Hulk! MUSCLES! LIFT HEAVY THINGS! PUNCH THROUGH WALLS! RAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

    And that is not very lady-like, lol.

    Luckily for me, this is becoming more socially acceptable... Unluckily for you, the male stereotype is still goin' strong. :( *sorry*

    But here's the bit that really helped me out:

    You are YOU.

    Nobody else is YOU.

    Other people may have opinions and preconceptions and whatnot, but NONE OF THOSE THINGS CAN FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING.

    ONLY YOU have control over what YOU DO.

    ONLY YOUR opinion of yourself really matters.

    Everyone else is going to have opinions, for better or for worse, but none of those opinions can force you to do a damn thing.

    You're going to do whatever makes YOU feel good in YOUR skin, and everybody else just has to deal with it.

    Personally, I'm going to not listen to the people who think I should be doing cardio and eating 1200 calories/day, because I disagree. They can say all they want what they think is what I should be doing - meanwhile, I'll be at the gym lifting weights, and finishing it off with a protein shake. Why? Cuz it's what *I* want to do and it's what makes *ME* happy and I want to be freakin' She-Hulk.

    DEAL WITH IT.

    So basically, NOT EVEN THINKING about stereotypes and your friends' opinions - imagine yourself as the person who YOU want to be, and just start trying to live as THAT person.

    Changing your mindset is tough - getting out of stereotypes is a challenge, but it's totes possible.

    FOLLOW YOUR DREEEEAAAAAAMMMMSSSSSSSS
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,679 Member
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    IIFYM eater and I'll be damned if I'm not a healthy fit male who still enjoys an occasional hot dog, cheeseburger, etc.

    Hit hard and heavy and intense with exercise and manliness will ooze from your sweat glands.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
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    I can't identify with being a vegetarian guy.


    Don't be that vegetarian guy then! Go Paleo or something that you can do for life. Meet your macros and your calories in a way that you love, otherwise it's just another fad.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    Do what you gotta do but chicks love a guy who can lift heavy things and run for miles - - translates well to extracurricular activities.
    With love,
    Burt
  • Mimisam45
    Mimisam45 Posts: 132 Member
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    I just need to say that, in my humble women's opinion, what makes a man a real man is how he treats women, children and animals and not by what he eats!!!!

    Who cares how you get your fuel, just get what you need to be healthy and happy!
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
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    I just figure that even if you were to make the switch, if you truely feel this way about the lifestyle change, it may not stick.

    I agree with this person. If you are having a hard time feeling like you can be a vegetarian, you are going to have a hard time sticking with it.

    However, I do think that if that is a switch you want to make go for it. If it is going to be a switch that is hard to make, I would suggest transitioning into it slowly. Pick just a couple of days a week to go meatless to start. Even just a couple of days a week can help you include more veggies in your diet and make a difference.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    i know lots of very healthy men who are MEN....

    we're talking hot, sex, MFKN men....who still love a beer, occasional cigar and burger....

    they just fit it in to their macros.

    jus sayin
    You talking about me?

    no I wasn't....by the pure established fact that I don't know you.

    but if the description fits you then obviously you're doing something right.

    way to go you!
  • maddieb4
    maddieb4 Posts: 4 Member
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    the problem is not about eating meat. you have this vision of being a man. *rants about society* being a man isn't determined by how much meat you eat or don't. it isn't about this facade that is socially acceptable. don't fall victim to the stereotypes that make males think they have to do certain things to feel manly. You are still you, whether or not you have a big burger in your hand or vegetarian sandwich. This is about health. If people have problems with your healthy lifestyle choice then they need to re analyze their lives and decisions. Be strong and do this for you. I would personally still stick to eating lean meats. if your goal is to become vegetarian then don't stop cold turkey. ease your way into it so you don't feel too uncomfortable. good luck.
    Do what you know is right to do, not what society dictates. i'm not crazy i swear haha
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    There is nothing hotter than a guy who constantly works on improving his health, education and physique.
    If he is strong enough to lift me up and put me down repeatedly too, i'm sold!
  • rickyll
    rickyll Posts: 188 Member
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    Unfortunately, you're not 100% right about this statement. Yes, you can be healthy while eating meats, even fattier meats if you eat them occasionally. The problem is not in eating meat in itself, it's in eating the meat North America provides us. The cattle, pork, and chickens are, in most cases, pumped full of hormones to grow larger, produce more milk and meat. They are fed grains and other stuff that is not part of their natural diets etc. This ALL leads to us eating exactly what they eat and it's HORRIBLE for our bodies, especially the hormone crap they give the poor animals. I could go on for a while.

    I think, and please correct me if I'm wrong OP, but you're looking to get away from meat because it's hard and expensive to find healthy meat nowadays. You can get free-range chicken, but they yield less meat and are more expensive and are sometimes only available at specialty super markets. Hormone-free beef is pretty much impossible to get!

    BUT, going back to the question at hand: I was born in South America where BBQs are a weekly, family thing and beef is the staple. A meal isn't complete without some form of delicious dead animal. I still eat meat, just a lot less of it and I try going for the hormone-free stuff. All I can say is suck it up that your friends will make fun of you, be a man and do what you think is best for YOU, not for your friends (who cares what they say anyway?). In this case it seems that you're looking to opt for more veggies and less meat. Good!

    Please, leave unsupported religious arguments out of this.

    haha did you even read this? No mention of religion. Just mention of the fact that meat supplies are not the healthiest...
  • BrotherBill913
    BrotherBill913 Posts: 661 Member
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    For the OP: just eat meat. Losing all that weight and increasing your activity levels are what's going to have a big impact on your health.

    Cutting out meat won't. And you won't stick with the new lifestyle if you're denying yourself stuff you want.

    This^^^^^^^^ sooooo this^^^^^^^^^^
  • FootsoreRambler
    FootsoreRambler Posts: 80 Member
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    This is a tough problem, because you already understand logically that manliness has nothing to do with diet. It's not a matter of reasoning. You're worried that your friends will make fun of you , or think less of you, for making healthy choices.

    Well, that sounds to me like the issue has less to do with 'manliness', and more to do with having friends who are kind of insecure jerks. And frankly, if the assumption in your group is that 'manliness' requires making fun of people because of what they do or don't eat, then you are all kind of relating 'manliness' with 'jerkiness', which seems to me like a bigger problem than whether 'manliness' == 'eats lots of meat'. If you can get rid of that way of thinking, the diet thing won't even be an issue (at least for that reason).

    Sorry if that feels like I'm attacking you or your friends, but really -- making fun of people for dietary choices is a petty, mean thing to do, and reeks of insecurity. I hope you can grow past it and maybe help your friends to do so as well.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    I agree. I mean look at Mardi Gras and pride festivals. You don't see any unfit gay guys. So all gay guys are fit and all fit guys are gay. That's the assumption I always make anyway. :wink:
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    Unfortunately, you're not 100% right about this statement. Yes, you can be healthy while eating meats, even fattier meats if you eat them occasionally. The problem is not in eating meat in itself, it's in eating the meat North America provides us. The cattle, pork, and chickens are, in most cases, pumped full of hormones to grow larger, produce more milk and meat. They are fed grains and other stuff that is not part of their natural diets etc. This ALL leads to us eating exactly what they eat and it's HORRIBLE for our bodies, especially the hormone crap they give the poor animals. I could go on for a while.

    I think, and please correct me if I'm wrong OP, but you're looking to get away from meat because it's hard and expensive to find healthy meat nowadays. You can get free-range chicken, but they yield less meat and are more expensive and are sometimes only available at specialty super markets. Hormone-free beef is pretty much impossible to get!

    BUT, going back to the question at hand: I was born in South America where BBQs are a weekly, family thing and beef is the staple. A meal isn't complete without some form of delicious dead animal. I still eat meat, just a lot less of it and I try going for the hormone-free stuff. All I can say is suck it up that your friends will make fun of you, be a man and do what you think is best for YOU, not for your friends (who cares what they say anyway?). In this case it seems that you're looking to opt for more veggies and less meat. Good!

    Please, leave unsupported religious arguments out of this.

    haha did you even read this? No mention of religion. Just mention of the fact that meat supplies are not the healthiest...

    The day you can actually use some evidence to establish that mainstream meat products are unhealthy as a result of some specific chemical they contain thanks to "hormones" or "antibiotics" or whatever is the day your argument will stop being a religious one. Until then, it is.
  • thisisme13
    thisisme13 Posts: 150
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    Just wondering, why exactly are you considering a vegetarian diet? You can be perfectly healthy by still consuming meat (just look for lean meats).

    I just figure that even if you were to make the switch, if you truely feel this way about the lifestyle change, it may not stick.

    This. Don't make the switch to try to become healthier. You can be an incredibly unhealthy vegetarian. You can be a very healthy meat eater. Following a vegetarian diet doesn't equal health.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    Just wondering, why exactly are you considering a vegetarian diet? You can be perfectly healthy by still consuming meat (just look for lean meats).

    I just figure that even if you were to make the switch, if you truely feel this way about the lifestyle change, it may not stick.

    ^^this

    (and I have no skin the the game so to speak as I am a vegetarian)
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    I thought this was a thread on cross-dressing.
  • rickyll
    rickyll Posts: 188 Member
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    Unfortunately, you're not 100% right about this statement. Yes, you can be healthy while eating meats, even fattier meats if you eat them occasionally. The problem is not in eating meat in itself, it's in eating the meat North America provides us. The cattle, pork, and chickens are, in most cases, pumped full of hormones to grow larger, produce more milk and meat. They are fed grains and other stuff that is not part of their natural diets etc. This ALL leads to us eating exactly what they eat and it's HORRIBLE for our bodies, especially the hormone crap they give the poor animals. I could go on for a while.

    I think, and please correct me if I'm wrong OP, but you're looking to get away from meat because it's hard and expensive to find healthy meat nowadays. You can get free-range chicken, but they yield less meat and are more expensive and are sometimes only available at specialty super markets. Hormone-free beef is pretty much impossible to get!

    BUT, going back to the question at hand: I was born in South America where BBQs are a weekly, family thing and beef is the staple. A meal isn't complete without some form of delicious dead animal. I still eat meat, just a lot less of it and I try going for the hormone-free stuff. All I can say is suck it up that your friends will make fun of you, be a man and do what you think is best for YOU, not for your friends (who cares what they say anyway?). In this case it seems that you're looking to opt for more veggies and less meat. Good!

    Please, leave unsupported religious arguments out of this.

    haha did you even read this? No mention of religion. Just mention of the fact that meat supplies are not the healthiest...

    The day you can actually use some evidence to establish that mainstream meat products are unhealthy as a result of some specific chemical they contain thanks to "hormones" or "antibiotics" or whatever is the day your argument will stop being a religious one. Until then, it is.

    Ahh i see ok, that's what you mean by religious. And I agree. I have seen documentaries such as "food Inc." and "Earthlings" as well as read internet articles from perceived "trustworthy" sources (newspapers, scientific websites etc.) BUT I have not personally made it my goal to go to the farms and slaughter houses and see if ALL of these sources are lying to me. You're right, they very well be lying to me and we eat perfectly healthy meat!
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
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    I just need to say that, in my humble women's opinion, what makes a man a real man is how he treats women, children and animals and not by what he eats!!!!

    Who cares how you get your fuel, just get what you need to be healthy and happy!


    #winning

    i dated two vegetarian men, both great guys, and i wouldn't consider either of them spectacularly healthy because they didn't exercise much (if at all). i love animals (both alive and on my plate). i like lifting weights. i like sweating. i like eating. i do whatever i want as long as it makes ME FEEL GOOD! being healthy is a state of mind as well as body, and you don't need to be vegetarian to feel that way. also, vegetarian/vegan men are just as manly as rib eating men. also, rib eating men could just as easily be "un-manly" (to use your wording).

    it's more than what you eat--it's who you are.
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    I want to be healthy. I'm considering going to a vegetarian diet. (Engine 2 Diet)

    One of the problems and maybe a barrier to achieving good health in the past is that I can't identify with men who choose to be healthy.

    I can't identify with being a vegetarian guy. The guy I've always been, has been the guy who likes hot dogs and beer. A good guy to share a juicy burger with. I don't look down on healthy guys, I just have a hard time seeing myself as one. I was brought up in area to think that they weren't real men. There is no logic to that, but the feeling exists. I have to change my worldview on what a "man" is. Easier said than done. Maybe this is just me whining, but a few weeks ago we were at a prime rib buffet with another family and my buddy was celebrating each trip to the beef station. I completely identified with that. Celebrating manhood by eating the roast beast. I can't be that guy anymore. I can't identify with the guy who asks the chef to prepare a vegetarian (or God forbid, a vegan meal). My buddies would torment that guy (probably behind his back) - I know its wrong, but that's my view. I have to give up that hold/view of the world


    I have a hard time swaying my preferences and feelings. Healthy guys are men, they just aren't what I envision. I need to become one - I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to reconcile my obviously flawed belief system. Has anyone else had to deal with this

    Umm why do you think that only vegetarians are healthy? I think you are a lot more flawed than you think! You are that guy, but just in a different way. You are that guy that thinks he is way manlier than he really is.