My husband thinks I have gotten too muscular

2

Replies

  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    Tell him if he doesn't want to look like a p*ssy next to you, he should start lifting too! *kidding!*

    IMO, what matters is how YOU feel about your new body. It does sound like he's insecure with your new physique. Sit down and chat. Hopefully, that can clear the air.
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
    Start practising your posing routine in front of him, ask him which is your strongest pose.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Just break up.

    Gather you're joking.

    Shouldn't you be asking this question to everyone that's saying he's jealous?
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    There are plenty of men who love beautiful, muscular women if he can't deal with it.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Impossible to seriously give advice on someone's marriage with these little snippets of information. You know the man better than we do. Personally, if I was doing something I liked doing then I would continue. Quite often the people making untoward comments just need time to adjust to the new you. And if they don't, whatevs.

    But I have no answer as to how you should deal with him. He's your husband, how do you usually deal with him? This can't be the first time you didn't see eye to eye.

    bro, you didn't know that MFP stands for "Marriage Fitness Pal"....?
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Just break up.

    Gather you're joking.

    Shouldn't you be asking this question to everyone that's saying he's jealous?

    Yes, it's a joke.

    It's a common response on a relationship thread.....and other threads.
  • chymerra
    chymerra Posts: 212
    tell him if he want to heckle you, he can "buy tickets....to the gun show" and then flex your arms haha. use a bit of humour to lighten the mood.

    honestly, talk to him and ask him if he feels weird about it.

    my hubs always teases me about "hulking out" and my "bro workouts". i know it's in good fun and we have a laugh. ultimately, you're doing this for YOU and if YOU like it, then that's what matters. he just has to deal.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Well... I have asked my husband how he feels about my getting leaner (not that I could call myself ripped AT ALL)... I have fairly large muscles for a girl and have yet to bulk, though I'd like to. To be honest, if my husband said he'd prefer I don't do a bulk I would consider honoring his wishes... because, well, he's my husband and I care what he thinks and wants.

    EDIT: I'm grateful he seems to like my body still and is fine with me getting even bulkier. He still outweighs me by over 100 lbs.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    If it makes you happy keep going.
    Odds are he'll learn to like it. Is there any chance you could get him to workout with you? Sometimes people need to put in the effort to appreciate the results.

    If that doesn't work, use your new muscles do smack some sense into him.
    "Look what my muscles can do! *smack*"
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    Serve him a sandwich and beer in your birthday suit and 6" heels.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Serve him a sandwich and beer in your birthday suit and 6" heels.

    I like you :-)
  • kusterer
    kusterer Posts: 90 Member
    I don't where he's coming from. I am also a man. I am also married (almost 50 years). When we were very young, I fell in love with the strongest woman I knew, physically, mentally, and emotionally. That was the whole attraction. Any man whose wife is strong enough to handle what needs to be handled, is a lucky man.
  • AlexBoBalex79
    AlexBoBalex79 Posts: 99 Member
    I think he's not used to your new body and might be having a hard time letting go of the old you.
  • Retiredmom72
    Retiredmom72 Posts: 538 Member
    Talk to him and reassure him that about your reasons for going on this journey. Remind him that he is an important part of the equation. Then invite him for a walk or other exercise. Good luck.
  • Proyecto_AN
    Proyecto_AN Posts: 387
    punch him in the face!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    offer to crush his head between your too muscular thighs like a walnut.

    he might actually like that
  • triathlete5301
    triathlete5301 Posts: 182 Member
    "How should I respond to his criticism? "

    Headlock and a noogie lol

    this!

    In all seriousness- the first responded had it right. Figure out why he feels threatened and why he's making the comments.

    could it also be that he's making the comments and you are taking them the wrong way? I do that with my fiance all the time.

    communication. That's the biggest part
  • mustgetmuscles1
    mustgetmuscles1 Posts: 3,346 Member
    Dutch Oven
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Dutch Oven

    :laugh:
  • pandahead76
    pandahead76 Posts: 122 Member
    The first response is probably the best course of action to take (though I really enjoyed all the suggestions on how you can display your prowess).

    Before my last baby, I used to be pretty darn fit. I loved working out--would rather do that than sit and watch television in the evenings. My husband has never been the jealous type, but one day, out of the blue he said, "You probably like the really fit guys at the gym better than me." I was flabbergasted. My husband was in good shape, his job was very physical and kept him strong and fit. I had no idea that deep down he was a little threatened by my new passion for fitness. I reassured him that no matter how fit I got, he was the only man I had eyes for. He never made any type of comment like that again. And has been wonderfully supportive as I embark on getting back into fighting shape.
  • lwright311
    lwright311 Posts: 69 Member
    Thank you to Eekasmouse and some of the others who gave serious comments. I do believe my husband speaks without thinking sometimes. He is very jealous of the attention I get now. I have discussed why I am doing this with him but I think he forgets. My reasons are that I want to be around for a long time for him and our 3 children. Recently several relatively young people in our community have dropped dead suddenly and it was a real wakeup call. I mostly wanted sympathetic comments from others in my situation. Didnt really expect so much negativity and sarcasm. Although I did find the headlock and noogie comment funny. I guess m
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Well I suppose that means you have decide between being who you want to be and catering to his preferences.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    I'm confused. Firstly, there is no "ideal" BF% range. Average is 25-30% and fitness is 20-25% and "athlete" is below that. Are you on the high end of average? Because that generally doesn't even look muscular. If you are on the high end of fitness, you might be starting to show some muscle definition and that can be a totally different look than what your husband is used to or attracted to. If you are on the high end of "athelete", you are probably QUITE muscular and if this is coming from previously overweight I can kind of see how your husband would be completely shell shocked by the new you.

    Health is really only a factor for most if you are above the average range or well into/below the athlete range. That being said, you probably need to decide who's opinion of your body matters most to you, your own or your husbands. There is no wrong answer there.
  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    Your husband being a little
    ! no offence.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Are his comments disdainful? Are you sure he doesn't actually like the way your body looks? Just commenting to me wouldn't say that he doesn't like your body, but if he has a mean tone, that would change things.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Buy him a gym membership so you can be a muscled couple.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Man people would've went ape shlt if this was a guy asking advice and we told him to beat his wife, I love double standards. We really don't know if her husband is smaller/shorter/weaker than her.

    Anyways OP, introduce humor when you talk about it to help ease any potential tension. I think you might want to give him a good toss in the hay to remind him of the old days when you were that muscular.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,658 Member
    Just break up.

    Gather you're joking.

    Shouldn't you be asking this question to everyone that's saying he's jealous?

    No, I asked the right person.
  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
    Is he actually being critical? You said he was commenting, OP, but you didn't actually say he was criticizing you or being negative. For example, saying "Wow, you're getting very muscular" is not necessarily a bad thing. If he's more like, "I don't like you to be this muscled up", then you may have a problem. Guys can often say things which we women interpret negatively, so if there's any ambiguity, you may want to ask him about it.

    If he is being overtly derogatory, then you do need to talk to him about it. My husband has always been very supportive, but I can imagine it would be much harder if your SO was not positive. Mind you, my husband is 6'5' and built like a football player, so he doesn't really have to be concerned that I'll get bigger and stronger than him.
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    Tell him you are doing this for yourself, not him, and you like yourself more now that when you were a couch potato. My boyfriend tells me I'm too boney, but I just smile and keep doing what I am doing. Mentally I have to like myself or I'm no good to either one of us.

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