scared of not losing weight. how do you deal w frustration?

iamluce

i've been on this website for about ten months now; at first i was pretty bad health wise because i didnt exercise and i ate very very little, but i eventually learned more and more and developped good habits and i managed to lose 35 pounds between june and november by eating 1200 and exercising regularly.

then the weight loss just stopped.

i'd experienced a few plateaus before, so i gave it some time; a month went by, and nothing, then another one, and nothing.

then january came around and i went home for the summer and i decided, well, since i'm not losing weight, i'm going to take a break, eat normally, not exercise, just for the summer. give my body a break. so all january and february i indulged and ate normally.
i was mindful and tried to make good choices but i stopped counting calories and i stopped exercising and spent two months eating and drinking like a normal 21 year old.

then i came back from my holidays and i'd gained a couple of pounds (but only 4, so i didn't worry much.) i went back to the old habits. 1200 calories and exercising daily. i figured since my body had been resting for so long, this would "shock it" into losing weight. i did that for 3 weeks and didn't lose a pound.

this brings me to last week, when i decided to listen to people saying 1200 wasnt enough, i calculated my TDEE, did all the right things (that i probably should have done from the start) and i started eating 1500 instead.

that's where i am right now. and where my problem starts: i'm terrified of eating 1500 and it not working. i know it's not a race and there's no deadline and if this doesn't work there are other things i can try, i know, but i'm so sick of worrying about everything i eat, of working my *kitten* off, of holding back on things because they're bad for my weight loss journey.

i do a lot of different exercises (i pole dance, i do cardio, i take pilates classes and i do strength) and i eat relatively clean, lots of protein, fruit and veggies, and yet i keep looking in the mirror and seeing no changes (on bad days, i look at myself and see myself fatter than the day before)

i'm scared of gaining weight and i'm scared of staying stuck at my current weight. i am at a healthy weight, healthy BMI, etc. i could stay the way i am if i wanted, but i dont. i don't like my body at all and i am SICK of not seeing any changes.

i take my messurements and there's no change, i put on clothes and they aren't any loser, and i'm just so sick of not seeing any progress! it's been four months since the last time i bought smaller clothes or stepped on the scale and saw a lower number (i've hidden my scale so that it doesn't mess with my head anymore)

i've only been eating 1500 calories for ten days and i haven't weighed myself yet, but i feel like i might have gained weight, and besides the whole thing where i don't understand why i'm not losing weight, i just don't know what to do NOT TO LOSE MY MIND

i'm developping a bad relationship with food because everything i eat i fear that is going to make me fat. i can barely look in the mirror without feeling bad about my body, and on some days i feel like just quitting because it's "not working"

i only want to lose another 12-15 pounds, but it's stressing me out so much it's driving me insane. it's all i can think about and it makes me upset all the time and i just don't know what to do to deal with the frustration of not seeing any progress.

any tips on how to deal with all of this? i'm really scared of giving up or becoming obsessive and entering E.D. territory, so anyone who's been through something like this and has any advice on HOW to deal with the frustration and waiting it out, i'd really appreciate it!!!

Rose_bee

10 days on 1500 calories (vs the 1200 you were doing) isn't long enough.

You need to give it more time.

The good news is that 10 days on that number has NOT caused you to gain weight! Give it another week or two. If you start gaining weight, then you'll know that was too many calories for you.

Since you only have have 12-15 lbs to lose, the weight will be slower to come off. You should be aiming for just a half-pound per week at this point.