Adultery Diet check in - and God dont like UGLY.

sabes2631

Hey everybody... its been about 2 months since i have checked in. Its a daily struggle. I have gained back 9 pounds thanks to a new friend who loves to cook for me:) Its about to get real ugly as the divorce date approaches and everything in our lives is given to lawyers and divvied up. It is very sad. And frustrating that he is so far in denial and has so rationalized what he has done. I actually felt nice today and mailed a birthday card to him only to face his UGLY side this evening. All of this is just dredged up again as the end is coming... i cant believe I wanted to fix it so badly. A little piece of me would have still taken him back up until recently. But --
When someone shows you who they are - believe them - the first time. __ mya Angelou.

I actually thought to myself the oterh day that I was better off for it. Because I am stronger and happier and better. Is that possible?
I just need him to go away though.
He was rationalizing what he did calling my beliefs fiction - so I responded with - "I didnt f*** someone else. Stop texting me." He responded to that with "Stop texting me." So I guess we agree on something.
It is startling how mean love can turn. We were once the "perfect" couple. How is this even the reality right now.

nolachick

Hey Sabes, reading your post is like reading a journal entry/memoir of mine. it reminds me so much of what I went through with my ex. For the first few months I tried so hard to get him back even while I knew he was seeing someone else. Looking back, of course I regretted wasting my time and my feelings on someone who didn't deserve it. And I totally get you on the being in denial part - he found every way possible to turn things around on me and make me feel like everything he did was right and I was wrong. according to him I drove him into the arms of someone else because if I had only been more xyz, or if I had done more of such and such, this wouldn't have happened. yeah right, its just men being controlling and manipulative. turning around the blame on you in hopes of justifying their own actions. And I absolutely love that quote by Ms. Angelou. It is so true.

And I also agree with you 100% that even tho you must go through a lot of pain from heartbreak, disappointment, betrayal, etc, it DOES make you stronger and happier. Especially when you realize how much you have grown, how you have more time for yourself and things you wanna do instead of wasting time trying to make someone else happy.

Hang in there, it does get easier, just give yourself time to heal. Time heals all wounds.

dmags

Hey Sabes,

Good to hear from you. You are better off. I am happy to hear that you are doing well. I am sure you will be facing a lot of tough days with the divorce ahead, but you have proven that you are a strong independent woman who will be able to handle it. Keep in touch.