Just a thought....

jackieg218

Hello all, now I know I am pretty new to posting on the boards, but I have been reading them for a while.

I have noticed a trend and I just wanted to point it out.... I don't mean to point fingers or offend anyone, so if I do, please forgive me.

I have noticed that many times when a new person asks a question that it seems to turn into a debate amongst members. Why? Are we all not on the same journey of better health? Haven't we spent enough time already feeling like the fat friend, or feeling down on ourselves? I try to speak words of encouragement, especially to the members who are just joining, we need to build each other up and encourage each other.... To be the hand that extends when someone needs help up after they had a rough day. Does it really matter if someone eats 6 small meals vs 3 regular meals, or goes low carb, or believes in the starvation mode, etc? It doesn't need to become so heated. We all got fat by doing our own thing, wrong thing mind you, but it was still personal. Some are over eaters of breads, cake, bulimics, too much fast food, no exercise...etc. the point I am making is we all made an individual choice at some point to let ourselves go.... And now we are all making an individual choice to get healthy.

So rather than getting into heated debates can't we "spread the love" so to speak and offer our opinions when asked (I totally value the advice I have gotten here) but offer our opinions respectfully and recognize that we all have the same destination of good health, but the path we journey to may differ.

Again, please don't be offended.. I am NOT trying to overstep or dictate.. Just trying to be positive

Jackie

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Now, where is my popcorn....

RedHeadDevotchka

That's some dye job on that bird....just wanted to point that out.

jackieg218

Oh I hope it doesn't turn into that lol.... I guess I just have a Polly Anna streak in me and that inner hippy creeps out sometimes!

Mr_Bad_Example

volume77

you know what.................

Amy62575

cmcollins001

What you seem to be forgetting, or just aren't taking into account, is the fact that there are thousands of members from all over the world with different personalities, attitudes, levels of fitness and experience. People argue differently, are reactive or proactive in the information they share, and generally overall, everyone is different not only in their health, but how they communicate as well. When you add all of these factors with backgrounds, upbringing, personal life experiences, and volume of members, you're going to get debates, disagreements, arguments, etc. Now...add to that, there is no inflection in text, so what one person writes as a harmless "matter of fact," someone else reads as an insult or sarcasm, while someone else doesn't even take that post into account.

Besides, with your method, there would be a lot of single post forum topics and there would never be a topic role over.

wickedwendy6

I agree Jackie. I've said it before and I'll say it again - these boards are shark infested. Too many tossers with nothing better to do than try to make people feel bad. MFP needs to introduce an option to remove someone's reply - just like you can delete a wanker's comment on Facebook. Until then, I'll continue to just try to stay away as much as possible.

holothuroidea

Welcome to the internet.

jackieg218

What you seem to be forgetting, or just aren't taking into account, is the fact that there are thousands of members from all over the world with different personalities, attitudes, levels of fitness and experience. People argue differently, are reactive or proactive in the information they share, and generally overall, everyone is different not only in their health, but how they communicate as well. When you add all of these factors with backgrounds, upbringing, personal life experiences, and volume of members, you're going to get debates, disagreements, arguments, etc. Now...add to that, there is no inflection in text, so what one person writes as a harmless "matter of fact," someone else reads as an insult or sarcasm, while someone else doesn't even take that post into account.

Besides, with your method, there would be a lot of single post forum topics and there would never be a topic role over.

True enough about all the members and I agree that discussion is a must needed thing. I didn't mean to imply that we must sugar coat things, hell, sometime I NEED a kick to my rear end lol. I guess it just got to me when I was reading a post and someone basically called another an idiot because they thought differently. Maybe I just need to take a midol and go to bed rofl!

ParkerH47

Totally agreed.
While sometimes its totally cool to give opinions and have back and forth between posters... Some times people just need to chill out and realize that we are all different and there is not one fix that works for every single person in the world.

Our opinions are different, our bodies are different, and the solutions are different. There is no one right answer and many people act that way

Willowana

What gets someone "run over" many times is posting misinformation. There are many fad diets and illogical ways of thinking. Most of the inflamed threads are people shutting those theories down before it can pollute new minds.

Having said that, there ARE new folks that do ask an innocent question. Maybe they were lead to believe something their whole life until the point it became truth. I do see them get run over, and I don't like that either. The more experienced people here should be willing to explain (nicely) why something is incorrect.

And then there are trolls

Katetw

Thank you Jackie! I agree completely.

It is one thing when someone asks a specific question, in which case, yes, people are going to present different opinions (but they should be polite!) but all too often the attacks begin about a different topic.

I wish that didn't happen so much.

CristinaL1983

"Imagine all the people living life in peace...."

It's a nice thought but it isn't going to happen.

Just like in real life, a lot of people think that their way is the best. And not only that their way is the best but that all other ways are wrong. I'm sure you've experienced that in real life. It's no different online.

The reality is that there are hundreds of ways to create a calorie deficit that will aid in weight loss. The minor differences are what cause conflict.

Someone thinks that people who eat lean meats are stupid. Another person thinks that anyone who eats meat full fat is stupid. Both think the other person is committing a slow suicide. Sometimes they want to help, sometimes they just want to call someone stupid.

One person has had a bad experience with some form of dieting (keto, fasting, low cal, low fat, the list goes on and on) or some food additive and lacks the perspective to realize that one persons bad experience does not make a rule. They in turn tell everyone that they are killing themselves, damaging themselves, or stupid because they are doing something that didn't end well for that person. Maybe they are genuinely trying to help, maybe they just want to call other people stupid.

People see and answer the same question ten times a day so their answers get more brief and abrupt and someone who doesn't realize the other person just gave a very in depth answer to the exact same question gets their feelings hurt and confronts the other person. Arguments ensue.

I was just thinking today how much it must suck to really want some advice and post in here asking for advice on something. I wouldn't turn to an internet forum for nutrition advice when there are easily accessed medical research journals, but that's just me. I definitely wouldn't come looking for medical advice or specific nutrition advice when I could just go see an RD or nutritionist. I'm not a professional by any stretch of the imagination but I have done enough research and had just enough science classes to realize that 99 out of 100 people on these boards don't have the slightest clue what they are talking about. The people who do have a clue often post answers as if they were experts without the actual backing of the education and/or licensing and are just as often wrong as right or severely oversimplify things leading to misunderstandings on the part of other people who read the posts.

You want real, personalized advice? Go see a doctor, RD, nutritionist, endocrinologist or other professional. You want to hear a variety of different opinions and/or get a list of things you could possibly try? Ask an internet forum and wade through all the *kitten*.

Katetw

You want real, personalized advice? Go see a doctor, RD, nutritionist, endocrinologist or other professional. You want to hear a variety of different opinions and/or get a list of things you could possibly try? Ask an internet forum and wade through all the *kitten*.

THIS. So true. I come on here for a few reasons, usually to distract myself from eating, sometimes to hear ideas. But real medical advice should ALWAYS be from your doctor. And always trust your doctor over what you read on here.