Struggling with food changes and motivation....

CRKERR94

I find myself wanting to lose my weight all the time and some days I am very focused on what I eat and try to stay focused on what I eat and make sure I drink more than 8 cups of water. My problem lies in motivation to exercise and to keep myself focused on my personal weight goals. I lose myself in comforting myself with food and handling so many lifetime changes by eating things I should not. I have a son in his senior year of high school that has been accepted to college, and he is my only child so I have been going through many emotional responses to my child moving on, as well as him having "senioritist" and suddenly taking it easy in school before the year is over thus causing concern over his grades. I have also been offered the opportunity to further my education with a fully paid program from my employer however I am undecided being I am 41 yrs old and just starting my son on his own college experience. I find myself turning to food to help me instead of exercise to keep me strong and healthy to get through the future. Are there any good DVD's that may keep my interest , keeping in mind I am 41, and 295lbs ? Also I could use some motivational friends of support, I need to lose this weight I have a family history of PKD and heart disease I myself have a rapid heart rate since age 30.

I know it's time for me to live healthy I deserve it... I feel as though I just can't find my way.

kcsnedah

Oh man, it sounds like you're in a pretty big time of upheaval right now. Since the past year was all over the place for me, I felt like I couldn't focus on my health anymore. I ended up gaining 20 lbs (maybe more?) in 9 months. I can sympathize.

First of all, I want you to understand that everything in your life stems from your health and well being. It's too hard to take care of other people properly (your family, your friends, your job) if you aren't taking care of yourself. I understand more that most how big changes and emotional stress prompt eating, trust me. Both sides of my parents' families celebrate and grieve with food and it was passed down to me. When I read what you said about your son leaving and how stressful that is for you, it makes me think about what it was like going to college for me. I honestly can't say that it would have impacted ANYTHING in the transition if my mom had made a small life change like cutting her diet and going for walks. My mom and I are very close, but it just wouldn't have made a difference to me.

Don't let your son's life transition keep you from making your own. Putting off your health won't help him AT ALL.

It may be easier to start when he's gone but it seems that we always wait too long. And what a great built in time frame to use for your own health goals! He'll be gone for a few years, which is enough time for you to get to your goals. Make his college graduation your weight loss graduation! Plus, if you start now, you'll have habits built and settled when he comes home for holidays and it will be so much easier to maintain them.

You don't need to give up everything and start The Biggest Loser regimen. The first step doesn't need to be huge. In fact, you've already made the first step by accepting that you need to make a change and want to do so. Next step can be as simple as getting a pedometer app (I use Striiv) to track how much you walk during a day. Do that for a week and then see if you can start tracking your food. (Tip, in MFP, if you put your current weight as your goal weight, it will tell you how many calories you should eat just to maintain. Start tracking there.) If you try to start a food/exercise/lifestyle change all at once, the pressure can be too much. Sounds like the last thing you need right now is extra pressure, am I right?

I'm 30 and weighed 250 at the beginning of the year. Two years ago I made some good changes and lost about 25 lbs but gained it all back for a number of reasons. It wasn't too hard last time so I thought I'd try again. 2 months later, I'm at 240 and I haven't done a single thing but cut my calories to 1500 per day and use a pedometer app. I don't work out anywhere, I don't take long walks, I don't lift weights. Eventually, I will need to do those things, but this step needed to be small so that I could take it and no be scared or fall too far if I failed.

Maybe you need the same kind of step?

michellekicks

I can't really relate to the impending empty nest thing because my kids are all little... but there are some videos that I know many people have had some success with: Leslie Sansone "Walk Away The Pounds". Good for getting started and nothing high-impact.

Look. The way you live in your 40's is going to dictate how you feel in your 50's and 60's and beyond. Give yourself the best future. Give your son's kids the gift of a fit grandma... think of them even though they're nowhere near coming yet. Seriously. I have to constantly convince my husband that 43 is still very young. You have a lifetime ahead... you deserve to enjoy it, have a body that functions optimally, and have the energy to do whatever you'd like.

You're worth the effort.

triggsta

Honestly? I would say that you have a lot of things going in your life right now. You sound like you're doing decent with your diet, but there are a ton of things in your life causing stress and exercise would only exacerbate that. Most likely, a walk every day would do wonders right now. On walks, there's no one there to add to the stress of your life. If you live or are near a place where you can be in a scenic area, the walk may help relieve you of some of that stress. And it will give you time to really consider some of the changes happening... your son going to college, you potentially furthering your career (41 is NOT too old to go back to school; my school has a program for senior citizens to go learn and some of them end up earning degrees!), and your health. I would try to get other things in check before adding yet another stress to your life. You only have so much cognitive resources at your disposal throughout the day, and exercise would further deplete them (psychological term is 'ego depletion', but it really has nothing to do with the "ego" per se). To prevent yourself from turning to food as comfort, you need to relieve yourself of the stress in your life so you have more willpower to say no to the unhealthy choices. When your diet is secure and you feel less stressed about the things in your life, then you could start considering adding in exercise.