Falling Off the Wagon .... Lots
bordercolliemad2008
Posts: 41 Member
Hi
Okay so ive already made lots of changes that im sticking to and doing well with for example
i used to have 4 sugars in my tea im down to two sweetners instead, Drinking lots more water,waking up a 6 and doing some workouts also longer and faster walks with my bordercollie,smaller portions etc etc
However my weakness is not food temptation its my boyfriend he is the worst influence to have around ever when trying to diet and talks me into KFC,Chinese and mcds ALOT! i try so so hard to say no no no ..... yes then after my set back i feel like well ive already fallen of the wagon may aswell enjoy this ( eat lots of things i shouldnt in the one night ) and start a fresh tomorrow!
Well as im sure you can imagine its POINTLESS but happens nearly 2-3 times a week when i see him and i get frustrated with myself after hes gone!
Its the classic problem of feeling to comfortable round him i think!
Any tips that could help me i would really appriciate, no judgment please as i know alot of you are just gonna think/say well just say no ( which ive tried many times ill admit im weak willed in this case all want to do is snuggle up with him and eat crap and watch tv )
Thanks
Okay so ive already made lots of changes that im sticking to and doing well with for example
i used to have 4 sugars in my tea im down to two sweetners instead, Drinking lots more water,waking up a 6 and doing some workouts also longer and faster walks with my bordercollie,smaller portions etc etc
However my weakness is not food temptation its my boyfriend he is the worst influence to have around ever when trying to diet and talks me into KFC,Chinese and mcds ALOT! i try so so hard to say no no no ..... yes then after my set back i feel like well ive already fallen of the wagon may aswell enjoy this ( eat lots of things i shouldnt in the one night ) and start a fresh tomorrow!
Well as im sure you can imagine its POINTLESS but happens nearly 2-3 times a week when i see him and i get frustrated with myself after hes gone!
Its the classic problem of feeling to comfortable round him i think!
Any tips that could help me i would really appriciate, no judgment please as i know alot of you are just gonna think/say well just say no ( which ive tried many times ill admit im weak willed in this case all want to do is snuggle up with him and eat crap and watch tv )
Thanks
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Replies
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Can you get him involved in your healthy eating and fitness, do active things together, walks, gym etc?
Or if you have to have the fast food make better choices and limit it to once a week or make healthier versions at home like homemade burgers or stir fry's.0 -
if he makes you go to these places to eat, then you have a choice to get a healthier option there than just fattening food. YOU have to want to make the changes, otherwise you never will.
id also ask yourself why is he talking you into anything. .....
you can blame him for your choices for only for so long. temptation of food will be everywhere on your weight loss journey, so how different is this from saying no other times? what it really comes down to is you. you have to really want it.0 -
Hey there,
what if you would eat BEFORE you go to fast food places???? When you are not hungry anymore.. why you would eat something?
What about a positiv mindset? I do that sometimes like this -> Imagine what you would be look like when you do the same fast food eating - in 3 month, 6 month, 12 months, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. For me that helped me a lot when I am imagine how will I be look like when I am eating unhealthy.
There are always drawbacks in life. I would just eat before you go to the fast food. In a few weeks he will see that you are having a strong will and maybee he will go a little bit less to that places.
I cannot say how much I sat on McDs and watch my friends eating and I thought well F**** screw the .... you understand. But my friends are impressed that I am don´t eating.
Go through that 4 weeks or how long it will takes and your boyfriend will see your strength.
Cheers
Django0 -
Hey there,
what if you would eat BEFORE you go to fast food places???? When you are not hungry anymore.. why you would eat something?
What about a positiv mindset? I do that sometimes like this -> Imagine what you would be look like when you do the same fast food eating - in 3 month, 6 month, 12 months, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. For me that helped me a lot when I am imagine how will I be look like when I am eating unhealthy.
There are always drawbacks in life. I would just eat before you go to the fast food. In a few weeks he will see that you are having a strong will and maybee he will go a little bit less to that places.
I cannot say how much I sat on McDs and watch my friends eating and I thought well F**** screw the .... you understand. But my friends are impressed that I am don´t eating.
Go through that 4 weeks or how long it will takes and your boyfriend will see your strength.
Cheers
Django
Anyone worth their salt would understand what it is that you are doing and help you rather than enticing you. If you are really invested in this realationship talk to him and explain that he is sabotaging your new way of life and ask that healthier choice be made if you are going out. He can still eat what he likes on days you are not together but it should be something you feel good about on days when you go out. If he is not good with this then I would seriously look at his motives.0 -
I've been falling off the wagon a lot lately too. But there are things you can do - you can still have McD's, KFC and Chinese things that aren't so horrible.
McD's has grilled chicken sandwiches - you can order them plan - just eat the chicken, and ask for some dipping sauce - I usually get the spicy hot mustard. That and a salad isn't too bad! KFC has grilled chicken too.
Chinese is one of those "least of the evil's" though. Fried rice is out. BUT they do have things like garlic chicken that you can load up on vegetables....beef with green peppers/onions too. You might be able to order them with the sauce on the side so you can limit the amount of sauce on there.
I understand the "comfort zone". The two worst things you can do is: 1) deny yourself that stuff (it's okay once in a while as long as you plan for it); or 2) beat yourself up about it (negative self talk stops now - dust yourself off and move on).
Just let boyfriend know that the "game has changed" - you can have stuff from McDonald's, just not the same old stuff you usually got. You have to be willing to make the changes, and stand up for yourself and say so.0 -
I know your situation exactly! When I'm by myself I'm absolutely fine, I eat right and always stick within my calorie limits. My problem is, I'm only ten pounds or so off my GW, so my boyfriend thinks keeping an eye on what I eat is stupid.
I'm nearly at maintenance level, but he always encourages me to eat more. He's one of those people who can eat anything (and everything) and still stay skinny... he ate a 1200 calorie breakfast yesterday like it was nothing! ><
I end up compensating for overeating when I'm with him by having way less on the days when I'm alone. I record everything I eat with him, and carry some of the calories over to the next day, so at least my week will average out. Maybe try doing this?
It isn't very nice a lot of the time, because you end up with something ridiculous like 800 calories for the next day... but it slowly works to reduce what you eat with them, because you end up thinking - is it even worth being hungry the next day?!0 -
Thank you all for your replies
When i said he talks me into it i dont mean in bad way my boyfriend is an amazing guy who gives me all the support i need however when it comes to food i think its just the fact that we both enjoy fast food ( im not going to lie he doesnt have to twist my arm that hard for me to cave ) its just comfort and convience we both work long weeks many hours of the day like many people im sure and also live 20min drive or so therefore when i do see him we both want something quick easy and tasty to relax with especially with all this cold weather atm.
I feel aswell that if i say no to the fast food im depriving him of what he reallys wants for the sake of me, he also doest believe i need to loose any weight and worries that ill become to skinny so i think this is why he also enjoys seeing me indulge and enjoy bad food as silly as that sounds.
Alot of the suggestions are helpful and im going to put them to action i think! To be completly honest i havnt actually sat him down and told him im unhappy with myself and want to loose weight therefore he doesnt realise what he is doing i suppose. which is my own fault but im uneasy with sharing personal things that i struggle with especially with people im close to when you say diet to alot of people i think they look at it a negative thing and think its silly your watching what your eating rather than just enjoying food. im a very closed book and think i may struggle to bring this up with him could anyone suggest how they told people their wanting to loose weight? i know everyones different but your previous comments helped alot hoping they might for this question to
Thanks0 -
if you feel uncomfortable telling him you want to lose weight, dont tell him. keep it to yourself, and make smarter choices when going to the fast food joints.0
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Volunteer to cook him something...what guy can resist a woman in the kitchen?0
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Pre log it. If you want to go to KFC or McDonalds or anywhere else. Plop it into your diary BEFORE you go, it may change your mind, (or not) but at least you'll be aware of what your choices mean. There is no reason why you can't enjoy these places, just be mindful of the calorie expenditure.0
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Volunteer to cook him something...what guy can resist a woman in the kitchen?
Good idea:)0 -
My boyfriend does this same thing to me!! I always have to figure out what I'm going to have before we get there. I look at my food diary and figure out how many calories I have left for the day (it's usually dinner that we go out for). Then I check out the resteraunt website and look at all their nutritional value... sometimes the things you THINK will be the healthiest really arent. Always figure out what you're going to have BEFORE you get there. I also drink water to make sure I'm not drinking my calories.0
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Fast food is the Devil! lol It's so convenient and tasty! Perhaps you could look online at the nutritional info at McD's and Panda Express (or where ever you go) and find something that's within your calorie goals. Have that as your go-to dinner then you know you're doing ok and don't feel guilty about eating fast food.
For example: at McD's a plain cheeseburger is 300 cals and a Fruit & Yogurt Parfait is 150 cals. That's only 450 calories for dinner.
At Panda Express a Panda Bowl with 1/2 steamed rice & 1/2 mixed veggies + mushroom chicken is only 405 cals.
You have options! You can do this!0 -
I know how you feel, my sister often talks me into things like that (despite trying to loose weight herself) - and I've gotten to the point where I am just putting my foot down and saying no. It helps, for me, that she's 'trying' to loose weight* too as she can appreciate that it's better for both of us, but now when I do say yes I'm making better choices too although it helps that we both like to cook and can do our own Chinese etc in a much healthier way.
I agree with the point about logging food in advance - I've done this a few times for homemade meals as well as the last time I had KFC; making your meal choice when you're not hungry means you pick something healthier and knowing how many calories it is helps me stick to it instead of giving in and picking something else!
*I've put this in inverted commas because I sometimes doubt her motivation, especially when she suggests KFC - I've tried suggesting MFP which has made it so easy to track and calculate calories, but so far she's not signed up!0 -
Volunteer to cook him something...what guy can resist a woman in the kitchen?
This is what I was going to say. If you already cooked or prepped a meal, why go out? Also when you snuggle in front of the TV how about some healthy snacks? Or instead go out for a long romantic walk and talk.0 -
Don't be so hard on yourself. I ate like a hog yesterday and didn't do any of my fitness dvds. I feel like a slug, but it is only one day and it is done and over with. Today is a new day so I am off to a great start so far. The weekends are hard for me because there is no structure at home. My daughter was home for spring break too. Pizza is so hard to resist too. I just know that I really need to focus on good food choices. This time I have my hubby on track too.0
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If you know the places he typically wants to go eat out...Just have things picked out that fall within an acceptable range of your calorie goals. For instance, Burger King Grilled chicken Salad, no croutons, and a light dressing can bring you in under 350 calories. I always like to say, plan for success. Just have a game plan, and you won't "fall of the wagon" anymore! You're still eating with him, but on your terms. Also, if you know you ate some junk...just make sure you do a good workout. It will help with the guilt
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My suggestion would be to try harder to resist giving in and when you do give in insist on places where you can choose healthy options. Both of you could eat before going out and have dates that do not revolve around food. After all, relationships require complromise.0
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You have been given a lot of great feedback from others on the board. I would say it is definitely easier when you have the support from your loved ones. I didn't have that support when I started, but it didn't matter. I was so focused and determined to get healthy that I didn't need anyones support. I was doing this for ME! Saying no is hard, and willpower is something that you have to work at. I now have a lot more support that I did when I started and my husband admires my willpower and self control.
If you don't want to open up and share your journey then you will have to do a lot of planning in advance if you eat out several times a week. Or you can compromise and cook some, eat out some (with advanced planning), and continue to talk with your bf about your goals. Making small changes rather than cutting things out completely may work better for you. Don't deprive yourself of things you want, but once you start eating healthier (cooking at home) you will learn to love other foods.0 -
Add me and read my blog. I think there is something there you might find useful.0
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I have a feeling this is more of a relationship issue than motivation. Yes, we should hold ourselves accountable and be able to say no, but if he respected you and your wished he wouldn't do those things. Try having a talk with him and tell him how important this is to you. My BF used to do the same thing. After seeing me cry when I look in the mirror and "hate" myself, he then understood how important this was to me. I wanted to get my old loving and vibrant self back, and not be consumed by body image and be so negative. You BF should be encouraging you, not bringing you down! Also, a little tip I learned, if you HAVE to eat out somewhere, chug an entire glass of water (or 2 if they are small) before you eat, then you'll eat less.0
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Put your foot down. Tell him he can have KFC if he want's but YOU'RE having a salad! My boyfriend is exactly the same, and i have very little willpower when it comes to junk food so i was constantly getting coerced into unhealthy dinners, and then getting into that mindset of 'sod it, it's ruined now, might as well eat half a tub of ice-cream too!" After a couple of months of putting weight on instead of losing it, i said 'Enough is enough!' and put my foot down. At first, my boyfriend got a bit arsey with me, because yes it does make things more difficult but it is worth it in the long run. Now he realizes i'm serious about it, he constantly mocks me for it, but you know what? I just don't listen. Because i know how great i'm going to feel in a couple of months time when i've lost all the weight i want. So whilst it is diffcult watching him tuck into a bucket of chicken as i sit there with my low-fat fish dinner, you've just got to be strong and power through it. It's your life, your body, and ultimately, your decision and your happiness!0
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I have a feeling this is more of a relationship issue than motivation. Yes, we should hold ourselves accountable and be able to say no, but if he respected you and your wished he wouldn't do those things. Try having a talk with him and tell him how important this is to you. My BF used to do the same thing. After seeing me cry when I look in the mirror and "hate" myself, he then understood how important this was to me. I wanted to get my old loving and vibrant self back, and not be consumed by body image and be so negative. You BF should be encouraging you, not bringing you down! Also, a little tip I learned, if you HAVE to eat out somewhere, chug an entire glass of water (or 2 if they are small) before you eat, then you'll eat less.
Please dont think this is a relationship issue because its really not and feel bad my boyfriend is getting made out to look like the bad guy here which may have been my fault how i worded it. I havnt said to him that i want to loose weight im not a very open person and feel certain personal things dont need to be said to people who are close with me ( im sure many will disagree) therefore my boyfriend does not know hes not actually helping. He does respect me and gives me every support i need and honestly is an amazing guy!
Its my motavation to say no ill stick with something else instead im not gonna lie as ive already said its very easy to twist my arm when it comes to junk food especially Kfc because its something we enjoy together and dont get to spend much time with each other so want to grab something quick and tasty.
However after all these great suggestions im feeling more confident that i can find ways round this! and thank everyone for their great tips and ideas!0 -
I work and am doing the whole single mom thing and can't afford to eat out and feed the teenage boys while maintaining a budget..So I totally get coming home at the end of the day and wanting EASY!
My solution?
CROCK POT!!!
Make it the night before or get up early morning of and have it ready to go so it is a no-brainer what you will eat that night.
There are some great recipes for healthy crock pot eating on MFP forum.
Tonight we are having chicken and potatoes, tomorrow we are having black bean soup (panera copycat)...
Many delicious options. research and enjoy!!!0 -
You got to tell him that you're trying to watch what you eat. Otherwise it's never going to work out.0
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I work and am doing the whole single mom thing and can't afford to eat out and feed the teenage boys while maintaining a budget..So I totally get coming home at the end of the day and wanting EASY!
My solution?
CROCK POT!!!
Make it the night before or get up early morning of and have it ready to go so it is a no-brainer what you will eat that night.
There are some great recipes for healthy crock pot eating on MFP forum.
Tonight we are having chicken and potatoes, tomorrow we are having black bean soup (panera copycat)...
Many delicious options. research and enjoy!!!
This is exactly what I was thinking too. Or if you do go to some place like Mc D's or KFC either split something or research ahead of time.
Small changes like a salad instead of a burger at Mc Donald's can be at least 200 calories or more depending on what you normally get.
Or maybe each get a sandwich or salad and split the fries instead of both getting fries.0
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