Curious about lifting, terrified of the weight room

KassLamb

I'm a 23-year-old overweight female. I've seen so many people on here saying "lift heavy!" I assume they mean free weights. I actually used to lift when I was 15 and 16 years old, so I kind of know what to do, but I've forgotten pretty much what all the lifts are called and I may have forgotten proper form. There's a weight room at the rec center at the University I attend. It's always full of muscle-bound athletic men. I've seen a woman or two in there a couple of times, they're also really fit. It's as if there's an unspoken "no fat chicks" rule in there. Is there a way to possible ease into heavy lifting? And how does one deal with the intimidation of being the one fatty in a room full of sexy people while working out? I know it seems like a stupid problem and the obvious answer is to not care what others think, but that's an overly simplistic answer to a complicated and deep issue. I know some others may know what I'm talking about and have found ways to overcome it.

JenMc14

1. Go to bodybuilding.com or muscleandstrength.com and browse their programs and videos showing proper form.
2. Pick a program. New Rules of LIfting, the All Pro's beginner (from the bb.com forums), etc. I think, for you, a good full body program three times a week consisting of deadlifts, squats, bench, bent over rows and over head press would be a great place to start. Do a warm-up set or two, then a mid set, then your heavy set. All under 10 reps.
3. You can practice form with no weights for awhile.
4. It's up to you how you deal with the intimidation. I think arming yourself with a specific program, getting form down and having a sense of purpose, rather than aimlessly wandering from machine to machine or fumbling with the weights and bar will make you feel more confident.
5. Stick in some earbuds and focus on you. Just remember that you're doing this for YOU, not them. You want to be healthy and fit, and that's what matters. It may take awhile to get over the anxiety, but the best advice I have is to know what you want to do and do it.
6. If there's any sort of class or trainer available through your school, that might not be a bad idea to check out, either.

No_Finish_Line

I'm a 23-year-old overweight female. I've seen so many people on here saying "lift heavy!" I assume they mean free weights. I actually used to lift when I was 15 and 16 years old, so I kind of know what to do, but I've forgotten pretty much what all the lifts are called and I may have forgotten proper form. There's a weight room at the rec center at the University I attend. It's always full of muscle-bound athletic men. I've seen a woman or two in there a couple of times, they're also really fit. It's as if there's an unspoken "no fat chicks" rule in there. Is there a way to possible ease into heavy lifting? And how does one deal with the intimidation of being the one fatty in a room full of sexy people while working out? I know it seems like a stupid problem and the obvious answer is to not care what others think, but that's an overly simplistic answer to a complicated and deep issue. I know some others may know what I'm talking about and have found ways to overcome it.

for every one douche bag in the weight room there are 1000 helpful people that are usually flattered if you ask them for advise. this would also break the ice and make you more comfortable in the wieght room and maybe make you some friends.

That being said, i'm pretty comfortable with the way i look, and i still have issues open my mouth and talking to strangers, especially if i find them attracitive, but if you can get over that, i think its a good idea

hebehrens

Maybe you can look into getting a personal trainer for a couple sessions? That way, you will have a "buddy" in the weight room, AND you'll learn proper form/use of the weights.

I have a similar fear actually, and that's what I was thinking of doing at some point. I also have a few friends who lift frequently who I feel like I could ask to show me around. A lot of my fear is not knowing what all to do (proper form, what kind of things I should be doing, reps, starting weights, etc.).

jrompola

I 2nd the ask anyone for advice and they would love to give it to you. I'm willing to wager the helpful people out number the douches by a huge number.

I see people talk about unspoken rules or this guy or that girl at the gym and most of the time it is just talk or being jealous of the person. I'm sure someone will talk about their 1 experience, but I bet it rarely happens that someone would actually say you're fat get out of here.

Ask 1 of the trainers to help you out for a day and show you how to use the machines and do various exercises with very light weights, so you can work on form. Once you figure out the moves you can focus on form...you don't have to lift "heavy". I think ppl mean say lift "heavy" but they mean lift actual weight that challenges you for 8-15 reps instead of a 5lb dumbbell you could lift all day and not be fatigued.

alpine1994

I feel ya! I was SO TERRIFIED the first time I headed over to the weights section. I kept putting it off, week after week, for some stupid reason but I knew it was just because I was scared. I just had to force myself to do it. I had a printout of a log for New Rules of Lifting for Women and a pen so that people knew I was following some kind of program and I think it helped a lot, especially during that awkward 60 seconds in between sets. Once you get that first time out of the way, it doesn't even cross your mind anymore, I promise.

So pick a day and force yourself. You'll be glad you did!

jrompola

I know its a whole different topic, but I've been watching a lot of Kai Greene training sessions on youtube where he works out with other body builders. He puts those body builders to shame with light weight for them because he stresses proper form and full extension and slow on the down movements.

You can find everything online and you can get a basic understanding. Spend 1-2 days with a trainer or 1 of your friends who is comfortable developing a weight routine and you'll be set.

Honestly...its not that scary and girls who actually workout in the gym and do their own thing are awesome.

TRMite

Don't hesitate to grab some free weights and move to a different area of the gym if that makes it feel less intimidating. I've done that before. But really, most people are zoned in on themself any way. Put in your earbuds and give it a go. Your fear/intimidation will dissapear after you give it a few gos. Post here how it goes so we can all read the happy ending!

bokodasu

It's always full of muscle-bound athletic men. I've seen a woman or two in there a couple of times, they're also really fit. It's as if there's an unspoken "no fat chicks" rule in there...
And how does one deal with the intimidation of being the one fatty in a room full of sexy people while working out?

Part is that you remember you don't know anyone's story. I had a co-worker tell me just the other day that she used to weigh over 500 lbs - you'd never guess it looking at her, you'd just see what she looks like now. A guy asked me for help with his form the other day (and his form was terrible, I'm glad he asked instead of herniating a disc). Me! My first day in the weight room, I was close to 200 lbs and 50% BF, but all he saw was someone who looked vaguely competent on the day he needed help.

People who lift weights every day do tend to be fit and have muscles - BECAUSE they go lift weights every day, not because they're super-hottie athletes who decided to hang out by the dumbbells and intimidate the noobs. Everything everyone else said about making a plan and then going and doing it is good advice - it's a lot less scary than you think it will be, and it gets easier every time you do it. If you can get the "doing something really embarrassing" part out of the way early on, it makes the process a lot easier - it happens to everyone at some point and it's good to see that life goes on. My trainer fell off a treadmill. In front of a girl he was trying to impress. Last week, I walked into the bar I had just set up for squatting. Why? Who knows, random brain fart, I'm sure it was hilarious to anyone watching, but they all at least pretended not to notice because that's what you do if someone isn't really injured.

Know your basic etiquette - don't hog up equipment or sleep on the benches or curl in the squat rack or take the bench bar and deadlift it in front of the weight rack instead of using one of the TWO deadlifting areas (guy at the Y this morning, totally looking at you). If you're not sure about something, ask, most people will be perfectly happy to help, and the ones who aren't, eh, that's their problem, nothing to do with you. Remember that it's your gym just as much as it is anyone else's. Before you know it, new people will be including you in their "I don't know, the people in the weight room are so intimidating" fear.

Good luck!

here

I would definitely go ask someone to show you around the weight room. The worst thing is when someone goes into the weight room who doesn't have a clue what they're doing. They could seriously injure themselves. So just get someone to show you how to do things properly. It'll also make you feel more comfortable and less intimidating!!

Good luck!

Warchortle

I was intimidated, but now that I am one of "those" guys I know now that fear was unfounded. Take their advice with a grain of salt and perhaps look online for lifting form videos.

taiyola

Just do it.

You will find mostly friendly people but the odd insecure douche.

It's like when I'm at work and people ask what's in my protein shaker and I respond, some people are like 'oh okay, howcome?' then you'll get the odd man who isn't even in good shape who thinks they know everything, and they really don't.

The more I learn, the more when I disagree with someone and they don't back down, I just smile and leave it knowing that I'm already either in better shape than they are, or will be soon. It's usually out of shape men or skinny girls who avoid carbs.

DiamondLil

It's always full of muscle-bound athletic men. I've seen a woman or two in there a couple of times, they're also really fit. It's as if there's an unspoken "no fat chicks" rule in there...
And how does one deal with the intimidation of being the one fatty in a room full of sexy people while working out?

Part is that you remember you don't know anyone's story. I had a co-worker tell me just the other day that she used to weigh over 500 lbs - you'd never guess it looking at her, you'd just see what she looks like now. A guy asked me for help with his form the other day (and his form was terrible, I'm glad he asked instead of herniating a disc). Me! My first day in the weight room, I was close to 200 lbs and 50% BF, but all he saw was someone who looked vaguely competent on the day he needed help.

People who lift weights every day do tend to be fit and have muscles - BECAUSE they go lift weights every day, not because they're super-hottie athletes who decided to hang out by the dumbbells and intimidate the noobs. Everything everyone else said about making a plan and then going and doing it is good advice - it's a lot less scary than you think it will be, and it gets easier every time you do it. If you can get the "doing something really embarrassing" part out of the way early on, it makes the process a lot easier - it happens to everyone at some point and it's good to see that life goes on. My trainer fell off a treadmill. In front of a girl he was trying to impress. Last week, I walked into the bar I had just set up for squatting. Why? Who knows, random brain fart, I'm sure it was hilarious to anyone watching, but they all at least pretended not to notice because that's what you do if someone isn't really injured.

Know your basic etiquette - don't hog up equipment or sleep on the benches or curl in the squat rack or take the bench bar and deadlift it in front of the weight rack instead of using one of the TWO deadlifting areas (guy at the Y this morning, totally looking at you). If you're not sure about something, ask, most people will be perfectly happy to help, and the ones who aren't, eh, that's their problem, nothing to do with you. Remember that it's your gym just as much as it is anyone else's. Before you know it, new people will be including you in their "I don't know, the people in the weight room are so intimidating" fear.

Good luck!

LOL! I second just about everything that Bokodasu wrote!! (But we have to add "RERACK YOUR WEIGHTS" to basic gym etiquette!!).

I've been lifting for years now, but I'll mention a few things;

1. At one point you couldn't drag my butt into a gym to save my life. We're all new to something at some point. You have to be willing to be new and awkward at something before you can get good at it. I was the gal that guys would teasingly ask "need some help with that little lady??" when I was new to the gym. Now they ask me to spot them.

2. Within the last 2 months, I've also walked into the squat bar and conked my head hard enough to see stars (I've done it before, I'm sure I'll do it again) and slammed my finger in between dumbbells while super-setting. Twice. The second time hard enough to compel me to have my fingers x-rayed to determine if they were broken. Duh - I didn't clear my weights from around the bench.

3. Anytime anyone has asked me for help at the gym - I'm flattered that they ask. I have no problem showing them exercises, talking technique or planning workouts. Love it. Most people who spend a lot of time at the gym love, love, love talking about 1. FOOD & 2. working out. Talk to people. Read magazines. Check out the websites. Talk to more people.

4. I still feel a little intimidated every time I walk into a new gym (when I travel or just check out a new gym in my area) because hey, I'm in someone else's house. Example: I was just back in Ft. Lauderdale at the Zoo gym where they apparently have a whole separate room for women. I didn't want to hide out in that room off the back. I'm used to working out with guys at this point, they push me harder and I shouldn't have to feel ostracized because I'm a gal. I felt weird being in the main room (and I tripped on the steps that led up to the cardio tier - doh!! - like everyone wasn't already looking at me!!). But I'll be damned if that's going to keep me from my workout. It's just one of those times you have to go ahead & feel weird and do it anyway. You'll get through it and be stronger (inside) for it.

I don't know if this helps or not, but thought I'd throw it out there. :-)

DavPul

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/102-new-rules-of-lifting-for-women-nrol4w

It's just a room with people in it. Not special people, just people. Join us

Francl27

If your gym has the LesMills BodyPump class, it's a fun way to introduce yourself to lifting. You basically lift in a group for 55 minutes.

Crankstr

I get it... I was afraid too, but I faced my fear, one day at a time... I lift weights 3 days, and do 30 to 60 minutes of cardio on the other days, with one day off

here is what I looked like when I joined the gym at 40 years old:




here is what I look like now, and am still working on it.

Contrarian

It gets easier every time you do it. Honestly, the majority of people won't be paying any attention to you because they are too focussed on themselves, and of the ones who will notice, most of them will be proud of you for just making the effort.

Be brave. You'll be so pleased with yourself once you do it. Let us know how it goes.

DopeItUp

There's no such unspoken role about "no fat chicks". The reason you don't see any fat chicks in the weight room is because they're all pansies and are intimidated by the weights and the in-shape people.

The question is, are you going to be a pansy?

DopeItUp

The other way to look at it is this: you said you see only really fit people in the weight room. How do you think they got those amazing bodies? Magic? Of course not. If you want to look like they do, you have to do what they do. Which leaves you only one option.

sunsnstatheart

for every one douche bag in the weight room there are 1000 helpful people that are usually flattered if you ask them for advise. this would also break the ice and make you more comfortable in the wieght room and maybe make you some friends.

^^ This.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/102-new-rules-of-lifting-for-women-nrol4w

It's just a room with people in it. Not special people, just people. Join us

^^ And this. And there certainly is no "no fat chicks" rule in any gym. You have every right to be there. Read the above, look at some videos on youtube.com or bodybuilding.com and just do it. And yes, if you have a question, ask one of those muscle bound big guys. Many of them will be eager to help, and if you run across a first rate d-bag, go to the next guy.

victoriannsays

I feel the same way about the weight room. Fortunately, I have an entire gym in my garage so I've never had to lift in front of others. A few weeks ago I did go to the gym with a friend - mind you, this was my first time in a gym ever. I walked into the weight room.. looked around and ran for my life! I know how to do all the lifts with proper form and what not. I could not imagine going in there as a newbie. HOWEVER - I wish I was not such a wuss I say get in there and kick some *kitten*. Ask some one to show you around and make some friends. Be brave! (unlike me) lol

Lift_This_

pull up your big girl panties, go the weight room and check it out...ask for help....the guys aren't going to bite, unless you like that sort of thing. when i first started lifting, I didn't care who was watching. soon i made friends with most of the guys in there...they were happy to help.

chaNyn613

I am to go out on a limb, politically, and say you may indeed find several immature patrons at a university gym. I would check with the staff and find the least busiest time and start going then. You might start with just the treadmill to get a feel for the place but it's your health and you have every right to be there. Don't let fear stop you from doing anything. You pay your dues so yes you do have a right to that gym space. Regret is far worse than fear and lasts much longer. Chances are you will find some of the nicest people in the weightroom. We all started somewhere - come join us!

Cait_Sidhe

We all started somewhere. I started out the opposite of fit. But I am now because I took that first step and I now belong in that weight room. Whenever I see an out of shape person I'm proud of them for taking the initiative and trying. No one started out fit.