Emotional breakdown- will it end?

xiamjackie

I recently had to break things off with my fiance. Long story short, people change. And those who you thought wouldn't mistreat you, do. Things you thought would never happen become reality. I'm an adult, I get that.

But now I have no appetite. I am basically forcing myself to eat, which never, ever happens to me. I usually have the appetite of a 300 pound man. All I want to do is stay in bed all day, under the covers, under my pillow, with the shades drawn. I can only make it through a few hours each day without bursting into tears. When I do make it to the gym, which I've actually been keeping up with, I rock it hard. I pound it out and exhaust myself and only then I am finally able to get sleep.

I don't have many friends in my hometown because I recently graduated from college and became local again. All my friends are on the other side of the state.

What the hell is wrong with me? And when does it get better? This has made my self esteem plummet, worse than it already was to begin with. I feel hopeless. Any help? Any advice? please.

Fozzi43

I'm so sorry..all I can say is that you need to give yourself time to heal and recover. Even if its you that done the breaking up, it still hurts even if it was for all the right reasons.
Give yourself time, beat the hell out if that pillow, it'll help and try to eat small meals of your favourite food.

Sending you hugs xx

BrettPGH

As bad and as awful as you feel right now I can pretty much promise you one thing.

This too shall pass.

You just take care of you, make some new friends, find a hobby you enjoy. It will be ok. Just takes time is all.

kmchambers64

Grief is a one day at a time thing. There is no magic bullet. You put one foot in front of the other, take care of what absolutely has to be done and allow yourself time to heal. You can do it, I know because you already are by making yourself eat and exercise. Thirty years ago I broke off my engagement with my college boyfriend 6 weeks before the wedding. It was ugly, so I know a little about where you are. There is the other side of the wall of grief, and you will get there one step at a time.

astronomicals

so who cheated on who?

PosterPens

it will pass. they usually say it takes about half the time youve dated someone to get over it... but everyone is different. keep going to the gym which will inadvertently make you feel better. things happen for a reason...so dont sweat it!

Whipppets

Someday your going to think back and say.. wow I dodged a bullet and thank god for the life I am leading now.

csuhar

There is NOTHING wrong with you. You have taken a severe emotional blow, and it hurts. Unlike the commercials say, it's OKAY to be sad, it's OKAY to be angry, it's even OKAY to be depressed.

Like Brett says, this will, in time, pass. Take care of yourself. Do the day-to-day maintenance to keep your health. Just like any physical injury, it will take time to recover from an emotional wound.

Fozzi43

so who cheated on who?

Stupid thing to say..can't you see she's upset? :huh:

SherryTeach

Yes, it does get better. Spend some time grieving, cultivating your friendships, organizing a peaceful living space. It wouldn't hurt to see a therapist, even for a few sessions, to allow yourself to verbalize your feelings to an objective listener and examine your past, present and future.

megan1869

Prozac is a miracle worker. Sometimes its just too difficult to pick yourself back up and you need a little help. if things don't get better soon I'd definitely talk to a health professional.

SarahBeth0625

I've been through some very stressful times and I, too, could not eat. You almost have to force yourself to do so so that you can push through. I know it's hard. Are you able to go to counseling? I don't know your situation, but we have free Employee Assistance through work, which is free & confidential counseling.

I'm really sorry and hope that you start perking up a little.

It definitely takes time.

There is a life after him, and I am hoping that you will someday look back on this and smile knowing you're better off.

Big hugs.

JenRunTriHappyGirl

I went through an extremely tragic event a few years ago... my normal self would shell up and hide from the world. But, it happened at a time when I was determined to become a more mentally healthy me. So I dared myself to do something that I would never do once a week. I called a group of old friends and went out with them. I went and had an expensive dinner all by myself. (and i didnt have to share) I went out on a date with a random guy who I really did not have much interest in (it was really selfish I know but I needed it). Its really hard and there were moments when I really wanted to not do it, but I did and everytime it was like I conquered something. I think that it is great that you are going to the gym. Try and challenge yourself in a different way now.... dare yourself to do something out of the ordinary once a week. Might sound stupid or impossible, but trust me, it builds a confidence and strength in you. Good luck .... sending a friend request. Let me know if you need anything!

astronomicals

so who cheated on who?

Stupid thing to say..can't you see she's upset? :huh:

Sure, but why? I think its relevant. Dont most broken engagements end in cheating?

xiamjackie

so who cheated on who?

Stupid thing to say..can't you see she's upset? :huh:

Sure, but why? I think its relevant. Dont most broken engagements end in cheating?

No cheating happened, but thanks for your input.

xiamjackie

Thank you everyone else for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

_Pseudonymous_

I find that when my emotions start racking up and gets to be too much I take a nice long hot shower, sit at the bottom and cry. I cry until my tears run hotter than the steaming water, my stomach is sore from sobbing, my face is so red from deep soulful crying that it seems like it will become permanently red. Then I dry off, crawl into bed wtih my newly cleaned sheets, in my softest cleanest sheets and my warmest, fuzziest pajamas and I write in a jounal/diary. Or you could write a letter to the person who hurt you, or any person really and just write out every detail that's in your heart, every hurt that aches you and pour it all out on paper. When that is done put it away. The letter isn't to mail just the get what's on your heart out. Then turn on a feel good movie or read a book that does the same. I don't know if that will help you but it usually is a good step in the healing process. I call it the cleanse.

I realize it probably seems silly but it really does make me feel good.

thecanface

so who cheated on who?

^^never been loved.

astronomicals

address it head on or put it behind you... whatever ya do don't stare at facebook all day and look at your phone trying to predict incoming texts.. that kinda anxiety is gonna kill you.. maybe you have some family near by that are near your age... go to a concert... do whatever you gotta do to smile... hope ya feel better.. later

cleback

I'm sorry this is a rough time for you. *Hugs* But sounds like you are doing everything right. Just need a little time. I agree-- this too shall pass.

abbyrae1

Feeling down can be the worst! Try to keep motivated, eat when you are hungry, try to add in some time to workout, this might help boost your serotonin levels and make you happier. Also, for me, winter is a huge downer, its cold, dark, we still have snow on the ground....maybe go tanning (I know, its not good for you) but just once or twice a week, just for a few minutes, you might have a boost in vitamin D that can help pull you out of a funk.

Also, a nice glass of wine and a bubble bath never hurts either......just try to have a good work out so you earned it too

Things will get better, they might get worse first, but things always get better at some point. Stick it out, stay strong, you got this!