Just want to be normal :(

missjeevious

Have you considered trying to gain muscle mass through heavy lifting? I've written and spoken the exact words that you just wrote. I understand,...maybe you are losing a battle with yoru metabolism- dieting off muscle and slowing things down- that is what it sounds like to me. I was caught in the same loop- six day vacation and my weight shoots up. I was getting real tired of it. Maybe read The NEw Rules of Lifitng for Women and see how it sits with you?

glovepuppet

they all have tapeworm

5ftnFun

I knew girls in my high school class who ate whatever they wanted and were thin. At my 30th year reunion, it was apparent that time had caught up with them & several are now obese. Nothing new, it happens time and time again. My point is, do NOT envy them.

You are very young. I was about 21 when I got my weight down & under control, and you can too. Great time for you to do this.

Don't despair! You'll be getting a lot of tips from others here, I just want you to not get discouraged by what others around you are doing. :flowerforyou:

KarenJanine

In order to get back to 'normal' you will need to try to reset your metabolism. From a post last year by mommamuscles (I am not sure if this was the original source but it was good advice)

Heres some basics:
1. If you're coming from a VLCD, start with a metabolism reset, eating TDEE for 6-12 weeks (basically, until weight gain stabilizes)
2. If you are not coming from a history of VLCD, or once you have finished your reset, you will move onto your cut phase (provided your goal is weight loss) which is TDEE -15%.
3. Every 6-8 weeks, spend 1-2 weeks (personal preference, or when your weight loss stalls), eating at TDEE.
4. Ditch the scale in favor of the measuring tape and progress photos.
5. Dont overdo exercise, but do use it to accomplish your fitness goals.
6. Weight training is not "required" but is highly recommended as building muscle will assist with fat burning.
7. Clean eating is also not "required" but is highly recommended.
8. Recommended macros are 40/40/30.
9. Make sure you are calculating your activity level appropriately, using HOURS of activity, not calorie burn. Strength training most definitely counts toward your activity level.
10. If you net under BMR, you must eat those extra calorie goals so that you are not netting under BMR. One or two days of netting under BMR over the course of several months is not going to be a big deal. However, one or two days per week will affect your metabolism.

Basically, if you are gaining weight eating an amount of calories that 'should' be too low for your stats (which you are) then you can make a reasonable assumption that your metabolism is no longer normal.

This is all great advice.

Your body could probably do with a break from eating such a low calorie diet which has likely suppressed your metabolism over time. A 'metabolic reset' would be a good step to take at this time to normalise your metabolism to where it should be . After that you should be able to start losing fat at a sensible deficit that does not leave you deprived.

Calculate your TDEE here: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/


Please don't compare yourself to your friends. Maybe they do eat a lot and appear sedentary when you are around them but you do not know what their activity and caloric intake is like when you are not there.

eAddict

Comparing yourself to others is meaningless at best.

This

I think also you might find a lot more benefit if you don't concentrate on weight loss or gain but health and wellbeing with the aim of health and happiness.
- Eat a healthy well-balanced calorie controlled diet.
- Engage in regular high-intensity exercise
- Adopt healthy sleep regime.
- Maintain healthy relationships with friends, family and the wider community.
- Engage in healthy pass-times/hobbies.

This will change your life. And you may just find that weight loss will be a welcome by-product of this sustainable approach.
kind regards,

This!

quirkytizzy

It can be sincerely frustrating to see that in people around you. I get that. But resenting their bodies only makes you further resent yours. It's a long process to change that sort of feeling. But with enough work on your own body, the mind will follow suit. You'll start feel more accepting of what you need to do.

eAddict

I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.

Ah, the old guessing routine. Want exact results but don't keep measurements and such. Hmmm.... I was AMAZED at how fast a little snack here and little snack there adds up.

gsager

those friends of yours who eat like pigs and don't exercise and stay thin.... they may be thin, but thin =/= healthy. Also, maybe they skip meals or do other unhealthy things when you're not around to know, and they're staying thin that way.... but they won't be healthy or have good body composition if they don't exercise and eat a reasonable amount of healthy food. What I mean is, they may look good in clothes, but what do they look like naked? And thin people can still be at risk of metabolic disease, if they are sedentary and eat nothing but junk.

The women I've seen with the best bodies workout at the gym with weights and eat healthy. they look good in a bikini and in clothes. They are fit, strong and healthy. They eat enough to fuel their bodies and get strong.

Eating enough to fuel your body is important, and don't just look at the scale, also take measurements with a tape measure. If you've been undereating then you eat more, your weight will go up and stay there, because your body is replacing glycogen stores. This is healthy and it's not a gain in fat. A lot of women after undereating get freaked out when they see a gain on the scale, thinking they're gaining fat and have messed up their metabolism, but it's just glycogen. It may take a while after starting to eat more before your glycogen stores are filled up again, and yes this will mean a gain in weight but it's not, repeat not, fat. More glycogen in your system = more energy for you, it's not fat.

So, don't freak out about the weight gains. Look for the "in place of a road map" thread and follow the instructions to find out how many calories you can eat and still lose weight, and stay healthy. Many women end up undereating when trying to diet, it's an easy mistake to make, and they usually don't know that they can eat more and still lose weight.

I hope that's true

I lost 10kgs eating 1200 a day through Lite n Easy.

I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.

Then eat 1500, looks like from what you're saying you gain at 1700. But if you don't log and measure your food you're really just talking and not doing.

bsuew

It is easily possible to put on a 1kg in a week... I often weigh a lot more on a Monday than a Friday due to the weekend indulgence. Likewise, you can easily lose a 1kg in a week.

Some people are more predisposed to put on weight than others and a lot of it comes down to genetic make up. If you think about it in terms of a fuel gauge but the F for Full representing Fat Storage and the E for Empty representing Energy the fact is each of us will have a different measure... Some will point to the far right meaning they are more predisposed to gain weight easily and store fat whilst others who are to the far left can eat pretty much anything and their bodies will continue to burn calories and store little fat.

However, saying that, there are very few people who have genetic disorders who find it impossible to lose weight regardless of what they do. So the fact is, it is still in your control and you can do something about it. I know it must be incredibly frustrating and we have all been there where we think we have had a great week and got on the scale only to find that we have had a gain... It really dents confidence and motivation.

Depending upon where you are on the scale you need to adjust your diet accordingly. Overall it looks like your diet is Ok in terms of calorie intake but you may need to experiment with your calorie intake to find the sweet spot, I.e. don't go to low and likewise not too high. Also, I would suggest losing the carbs, particularly the rice in the evening. Instead replace with proteins and healthy fats. Also, in terms of your exercise routine, then mix it up and try something new and keep experimenting.

Believe it or not... You are perfectly normal!

^^^^^SO THIS & Very well said!!! ^^^^^^^^
Best of luck. I find it soooo hard to loose and can gain very easily!! I find just about the only way I can loose is to stay on a low carb life style.

jess6741

Unless you are with those girls 24/7 you don't know how much work they are putting in or what healthy habits they have. When I go out with my friends I drink and eat what I want. I workout every day and watch what I eat the rest of the time but they never see that. You may just not see their effort.

But also like a previous poster stated they could also be thin through unhealthy measures. I know people who only eat one meal a day consisting of fast food. Just focus on getting healthy and not worry about them. It will drive you crazy.

meeulk

You gained nearly 1KG per week???

Yes.

This is what I mean, I've always gained like this. I once gained 10kg in one month because I was out with friends every night and therefore snacking more, but I was also walking everyday for hours. This is not an over exaggeration. I'm being completely serious, I've gone to my doctor for years, she doesn't even want to do a hormone test on me even though i've asked several times.

I've recently gone off the pill in a bid to try and get my natural hormones back in order, I suffer almost every side effect of the pill including the constant fatigue.

If you have constant fatigue, you should have your thyroid checked. Gaining weight is also a sign of a sluggish thyroid. I know firsthand!

concordancia

If you aren't using the diary, how do you know how much you are eating?
Even professional dietician aren't very good at knowing how much they eat unless the weigh, measure and log.

helyla

Comparing yourself to others is meaningless at best.

I think also you might find a lot more benefit if you don't concentrate on weight loss or gain but health and wellbeing with the aim of health and happiness.
- Eat a healthy well-balanced calorie controlled diet.
- Engage in regular high-intensity exercise
- Adopt healthy sleep regime.
- Maintain healthy relationships with friends, family and the wider community.
- Engage in healthy pass-times/hobbies.

This will change your life. And you may just find that weight loss will be a welcome by-product of this sustainable approach.
kind regards,

Ben

I really like this response. I've found in the past that when I chose to change my lifestyle and be healthy, and losing weight was not my top priority, the weight came off anyways. I didn't obsess over the scale and did count my calories but didn't obsess. I knew what was healthy and what wasn't and I tried to make every meal a healthier version of what I would have eaten when I was gaining weight.

Stressing over your weight isn't going to help you lose it. It's only going to hinder you.

Try to take a step back, take a deep breath and start fresh with a goal of getting healthy, no being thin. The weight will come off with time and consistency.

ninakir88

Yeah, just because you see your friend eating and drinking whatever they want when you guys are out doesn't mean they are like that all the time. I eat and drink what I want too on the weekends but during the week I am very strict and work out. If you are really so worried about them, just ask them what they do to stay skinny, you might get some insight.

Either way, you have some good advice in here.

helyla

It can be sincerely frustrating to see that in people around you. I get that. But resenting their bodies only makes you further resent yours. It's a long process to change that sort of feeling. But with enough work on your own body, the mind will follow suit. You'll start feel more accepting of what you need to do.

This too!

cupboard_stalker

To the original poster - I get your frustration, i have felt this many times and it is so very unfair to put on like we both obviously do. You have some great advice here so i won't add anything by duplicating, but be carefull - having a job is not a weight issue, its an income and time issue, don't confuse that. You sound prejudice and thats unfair. Some jobs are physical and do burn calories, other jobs are sedentry like mine and burn nothing. Dont blindly follow the media and assume anyone who doesn't work is lazy, it doesn't always follow and is very unfair and hurtful to people like mothers and carers.

Good luck with your goal

LauraJo08

This is the mentality I had from age 12-21. I was naturally larger than all the other girls (5'8 by age 13, and 5'11 or so now) and unlike many tall girls, I was never even close to rail thin. As an athlete, I hung out with all these thin/fit/healthy girls who made it seem so effortless, and I was just so upset that I couldn't eat or live "that way."

It took a reality check for me to realize that cookie binges after school, or 2 big helpings at dinner were the reason that I wasn't fit and healthy. Even nowdays, a lot of my friends are thinner than I am, BUT I can run faster/longer than them, lift more, and I bet you that I have a equal if not lower body fat percentage than they do. What did I do? I stopped feeling sorry for myself, stopped worrying about looking like a twig, and instead, like other posters have said, focused on eating foods that were good for me, participating in consistent exercise that I enjoy, sleeping well, and working on my self confidence. I have never been happier, and nope I'm not "normal," if "normal" means crazy food and alcohol binges, but I am healthy.

sazroy

I lost 10kgs eating 1200 a day through Lite n Easy.

I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.

So you were on a VLCD (very low calorie diet ) for your body weight, height, age? For how long? If you were on that for any length of time you have very likely messed up your metabolism a little. Given what you are saying..that you started gaining at 1500 it makes sense. For your current weight as listed in your profile your BMR is close to 1500 - or it would be in a normal situation. This means that everything you do ABOVE laying in bed all day (so anything) needs more than 1500 calories.

In order to get back to 'normal' you will need to try to reset your metabolism. From a post last year by mommamuscles (I am not sure if this was the original source but it was good advice)

Heres some basics:
1. If you're coming from a VLCD, start with a metabolism reset, eating TDEE for 6-12 weeks (basically, until weight gain stabilizes)
2. If you are not coming from a history of VLCD, or once you have finished your reset, you will move onto your cut phase (provided your goal is weight loss) which is TDEE -15%.
3. Every 6-8 weeks, spend 1-2 weeks (personal preference, or when your weight loss stalls), eating at TDEE.
4. Ditch the scale in favor of the measuring tape and progress photos.
5. Dont overdo exercise, but do use it to accomplish your fitness goals.
6. Weight training is not "required" but is highly recommended as building muscle will assist with fat burning.
7. Clean eating is also not "required" but is highly recommended.
8. Recommended macros are 40/40/30.
9. Make sure you are calculating your activity level appropriately, using HOURS of activity, not calorie burn. Strength training most definitely counts toward your activity level.
10. If you net under BMR, you must eat those extra calorie goals so that you are not netting under BMR. One or two days of netting under BMR over the course of several months is not going to be a big deal. However, one or two days per week will affect your metabolism.

Basically, if you are gaining weight eating an amount of calories that 'should' be too low for your stats (which you are) then you can make a reasonable assumption that your metabolism is no longer normal.

My ENTIRE life was spent eating very little calories,

My whole life day in day out was Vegemite toast for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, meat and veg for dinner, and maybe a piece of bread after dinner, no snacks. This is how I've always eaten, no snacks, no appetite, yes alot of bread but doctors always said it's okay to have up to 5 pieces a day, so we did what the doctors told us. A doctor actually told my mum while I was little to feed me more sugar because I wasn't growing and sugar would help!!! (so angry about that)

Then when I did Lite n Easy and they suggested the 1200 cal plan, I was actually eating tons more, to start with I had to skip some of the snacks because I couldn't fit them in, eventually I became hungrier and was able to consume more, I lost 10kgs in 4 months, no exercise, kept it off so far. I stay with LnE for an extra two months because I plateaued, realised nothing more was coming off so decided to go out and do my own food.

someone mentioned cutting on the rice, I've probably only had rice two or three times in that 2 week period.

As for Genetics, my ENTIRE family is over weight (parents, brother, aunties, uncles, cousins, all of them).

A personal trainer told me I should consume LESS than my BMR. I didn't listen to her for a second, but can you see how I'm confused, one person says do this, another says do that, I'm terrified to do anything because one kg put on is just one kg in the wrong direction.

sazroy

Yeah, just because you see your friend eating and drinking whatever they want when you guys are out doesn't mean they are like that all the time. I eat and drink what I want too on the weekends but during the week I am very strict and work out. If you are really so worried about them, just ask them what they do to stay skinny, you might get some insight.

Either way, you have some good advice in here.

I know this girl, she's lazy and does nothing, I couldn't even get her to go for a walk with me. I KNOW she doesn't work out, she sits on her bum watching movies all day.

Timshel_

That math doesn't work. I suspect you are actually taking in more calories than you think.

Or maybe over estimating your exercise burn. I dunno.