A post, responses, then death....

salgalbp
salgalbp Posts: 218 Member
in Chit-Chat
I lurk on here all the time, seldom post.

I wonder sometimes at the cruelty of some of the responses, some of the posts and yet, I'm guilty I laugh sometimes as well. This is going to stop for me. I came on here originally to log my food intake. Then I found the forums and became enthralled by them.

A first time poster, his very first post on MFP was about his desire to lose weight to save his marriage. I decided to only read the first couple of responses before I posted my own thoughts and opinions about his dilema.

He passed away suddenly on March 17th, yet the thread was still going strong with STRONG opinions still today. I was about to post, with a great response and then something stopped me and I deleted it. I'm so glad I did. I wonder if his wife or daughter will read his dilema, but more than that the responses. If his wife does, it will do a lot of damage I believe.

Folks, it's just a message for all of us to be a little bit more kind, more tolerant and less judgemental of anyone else's struggles. It's also a good reminder that this is My Fitness Pal. This is not a counseling center and if things are not going well in your life My Fitness Pal may not be the best place to seek advice.

That is it.
Thanks,
Sal

Replies

  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    sal gal,..........who was this person who passed away.....I have been missing some of my friends on here............and can you post the post that they were attacking him on?

    Again, Im concerned about my friend who quit posting and his situation was the same.........thank you
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    sal gal,..........who was this person who passed away.....I have been missing some of my friends on here............and can you post the post that they were attacking him on?

    Again, Im concerned about my friend who quit posting and his situation was the same.........thank you

    LordRings. He wasn't being attacked. He posted a help thread, and people won't let it die even though he's gone now.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    Just curious because I think I read some of this thread (I did not comment), how does anyone KNOW he died?
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Just curious because I think I read some of this thread (I did not comment), how does anyone KNOW he died?

    He's from the same area as me. I saw his obituary.

    ...as for his wife, she is probably riddled with guilt.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    I just read that thread this morning. Didn't post since I didn't have anything to add plus his one and only post to MFP was the start of that thread and was posted back in Feb. I don't recall if anything nasty was posted. What I recall reading was all very supportive. The newest post however wasn't all that nice but not really bad either. Maybe if the OP of this thread knows for sure that he passed away they can ask the moderators to remove his thread?

    Sorry for the loss of your friend.


    Edit to say he joined feb but that was his one and only post made 3/1. I didn't see any need to keep the thread going since he didn't seem to post again.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    sal gal, thank you , it wasn't the friend I have been concerned about........hopefully, he will seek help from a professional.........

    The friend I was refering to is going thru the same, but his wife hasn't left him, although she wrote Miss Manners and told her dilemma to a total stranger, actually, a newspaper column writer, and he was the one who found her original,. He said this totally floored him and that his marriage is really strained

    I can attest for me, IMHO, that my sexual life was really bad when I was near 350 lbs.........tons of guilt and feelings of inadequacy......its improved big time for the both of us

    I am so sorry for the loss of this man............thank you again. ,and I will read all the replies.........
  • salgalbp
    salgalbp Posts: 218 Member
    Easy enough to find the obituary with a google search. Same photo, same age, same town, his wife's name is the same....I checked to make sure it wasn't a hoax.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    His last login was on the 20th. So I guess someone has logged on to his profile since his death.
  • GlassslippersAndFairyDust
    GlassslippersAndFairyDust Posts: 518 Member
    Wondering if he committed suicide since his obituary suggests donations in his name to the bradycenter.org......what a sad ending to such a young life. Thoughts and prayers are with his family, especially his daughter and parents. :cry:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    You could message a mod with the information and ask that they lock the thread. Most people don't read through all the threads and will just continue to respond to the OP or/and comments made on the first 1-3 pages.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    Funny I saw this, there is poster around here who has mentioned some disturbing things. I hope people in true need seek help properly.
  • mattschwartz01
    mattschwartz01 Posts: 566 Member
    In tandem with showing more kindness, we should also take it upon ourselves to see which of our friends has not logged on for a while or which ones want encouragement. I make it a point to reach out to friends that have not logged in for 3 days.

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