Emotional Breakdown at Yoga

deadbeatsummer

So tonight, I tried Yoga for the first time in my life. It was hot yoga - Bikram.
I am overweight at 190lbs and 5 foot 7 and very unflexible. I usually do bootcamp, run, crosstrainer, body weight exercises (callisthenics), Turbo Fire, etc. Never anything like yoga.

So I read up on tips, I ate light before the class, and drank lots of water before hand.

However, oh my god, I have never felt as useless at something in my life. It really highlighted how overweight I am, certain stretches were impossible and I could actually feel my body fat at my sides. I could probably do 20% of the positions, and those 20% I could only do a very basic version of them. I sat out a lot as I kept feeling sick. The Bikram teacher kept (kindly) correcting me and calling things out to me in the class which made me feel worse. It got to a certain point, and I know it sounds stupid, but I had the overwhelming urge to cry.

I know, pathetic, I seriously have issues with crying and cannot cry at things that affect me personally usually, and so the feeling of crying was really strange to me.

Can anyone share their thoughts with me on this as I'm really confused about what caused this weird emotion over reaction.

PaleoChocolateBear

Stick with it, it gets better with each workout. I'm 6'4 235 when I started crossfit guys half my size were lifting more weight then me. It seemed embarrassing but they supported me and pushed me until I got better. Just remember everyone even here on this site was a beginner at some point. We all start some where

bpotts44

Yoga can be very frustrating...that is fact

dad106

Yoga is very much about mind, body and soul. So it's not uncommon to feel emotions that you don't normally feel.

I say, stick with it.. it does get easier as time goes on.

Maybe try finding a different form of Yoga to work with before you jump into Bikram. I do Hatha Yoga at my gym, and we stretch first, do a few sun salutations and then work on one or two poses before coming into Shavesena.

Cr01502

I'm in the best shape of my life and I almost break down doing Bikram.

Don't sweat it.

tppchef

I think that it's awesome how your opening up your workout routine. If the instructor didn't care, they would have just let you struggle. Instead they gave you some pointers to make your workout better. My first kickboxing class was just the same. He had to correct every punch and kick at first. Two months later...the cute third degree black belt guy in class came up and told me how solid my workout looks now. It's great to start meeting supportive people and making new positive friends.

corsayre8

Totally a normal feeling for a first Bikram class.

I swore after my first class that I would never do it again. Then I ended up going through Teacher Training and instructing for six years.

Guess you just have to decide if you are ok with feeling worthless, or if you want to return and prove yourself wrong.

deadbeatsummer

Guess you just have to decide if you are ok with feeling worthless, or if you want to return and prove yourself wrong.

A hard truth, I think I'm going to go again on Saturday.

Just was surprised at the feeling of literally wanting to break down and cry like a child that can't do something. Felt really silly.

farsteve

Basically do what you can do and you'll get better almost each time. You aren't worthless and screw anybody that thinks so. Your worth as a person is not determined by downward dog or bold warrior or twisted sister. Just be your warm wonderful self and have a good time.

classycouture

Yoga is about YOUR practice; not the instructor's practice, the man in the corner's practice, or the skinny, flexible girl in the back of the room's practice. It is about you and your body. Listen to what your body tell's you, if one pose is too much, modify it. You are still getting a great workout, and pushing your body, even though it's not the way you are normally used to pushing your body.

I do hot vinyasa flow yoga, and I have extremely tight hamstrings. At first I was actually embarrassed that I could do a complete forward fold without bending my knees, but I've now come to realize that I will get there, and to not get discouraging. I am seeing my progress through each class, and am in love with the practice.

Hold your head up high, love. Open your mind, push away all doubt, and yoga your little heart out :flowerforyou:

corsayre8

Smile.

Just my two cents. If you can make it back sooner, do so. The body does better acclimating to the heat if you don't allow days to pass between exposure.

No science to back this up, just years of experience.

And for the record, I no longer have any affiliation with Bikram yoga, so this isn't coming from any type if marketing/business perspective :-)

chillgirl8

As anyone who has ever done Bikram regularly knows, there is no worse feeling than going through your first class, but that second class.. absolute awesomeness. Honestly, it's best to do the second one as soon after the first one as possible. Glad you are planning on going back, it will be completely worth it.

KatjaO

Did you breakdown because of overwhelming emotions or because of not being able to do things? I've done the former in yoga class. Actually cried uncontrollably. Very surprising. I just took it as a good mental connection during practise. If it is the latter, I found that you need to do yoga at least 2 times, ideally more a week, or you just keep returning to where you started from.

( disclaimer, have not done yoga for 10 yrs, so old info )

palmerar

I do hot vinyasa flow yoga also (hot yoga but not Bikram) and I have often heard different teachers say that going through practice is learning how to deal with being in physical discomfort (not pain) and dealing with it. While yoga is a great physical work out it has helped me deal with stress and bad situations and benefit emotionally. Definitely give Bikram a few times before making a decision on it, and explore other types of yoga to see which one fits you best.

Also, one of the teachers I have had said that she has had a lot of students cry when they do pigeon pose. It opens up the hip and she says when you release the tension that has been held there for so long it can have an emotional effect on a lot of people. SO you definitely wouldn't be the first to cry in yoga.

knightreader

definitely go back. i started bikram yoga in october to relieve stress. i was the fattest guy in the room at my first session, had never done any type of yoga before, and had no idea what i was in for. i knew there would be poses that i couldn't do b/c of my lack of experience, my inflexibilty, my weight and restrictions i have b/c of double partial knee replacements.

but i loved it. and still do. i try to go twice a week. and would go more if my schedule allowed it.

make sure you are in the back of the room so you can watch the people in front of you do the poses correctly. also, make sure you can see yourself in the mirror. it will help your balance and posture. there is a definite difference in my practice on days i can see myself in the mirror and days i can't.

i went from the guy who didn't know anything about yoga, the guy who was being corrected by the teacher and the guy who felt everyone was staring at him b/c he looked foolish and was doing every pose wrong, to just last week having the instructor stop the class, walk over to me, and point out how perfect my pose was, and order everyone in the room to look like me!

i think the emotions you are feeling are completely normal. it is very overwhelming in the hot room for a variety of different reasons. and it is meant to be. yoga is emotional.

stick with it. it took about 10 classes for me to feel comfortable in what i was doing. and i am by no means an expert 5 months later. i just try my best each time, and hope for a better session than the one before.

good luck.

namaste.

yoginimary

Stick with it, it will get better. Might want to try a different kind of yoga and see how that feels.

DrMAvDPhD

:frown: Sorry it was such a poor experience for you. Maybe jumping straight into Bikram without taking a beginner's class wasn't the best idea. But even then, a good yoga instructor should make it clear at the beginning of class that yoga is a judgement free zone, and the most important thing about a class is YOU and YOUR PRACTICE, whatever level that may be. What I can promise you is that no one in that class was judging you, and that there were definitely others in there struggling. I hope you give it another try! The learning curve can be steep with yoga but the improvements also come quickly and noticeably!

BrotherBill913

I agree with everyone. Stick w/it. It will get so much easier as you go. I'm serious, you will be laughing at ll of this in about 2 weeks. When I first started doping yoga i could do the plank. I have anever ending shoulder injury from a football 27 years ago. The teacher told me to work on my upper body strength. lol, I compete in contests lifting heavy objects, lol... Just no plank, or not for long, lol... The stretching will make you feel better all over. Good Luck to you.

avielosesit

Guess you just have to decide if you are ok with feeling worthless, or if you want to return and prove yourself wrong.

A hard truth, I think I'm going to go again on Saturday.

Just was surprised at the feeling of literally wanting to break down and cry like a child that can't do something. Felt really silly.

Just wanted to say how proud of you I am to read this. You're starting at the beginning (which, by the way, is where just about everyone starts). Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

jonesin_am

Yoga is very much about mind, body and soul. So it's not uncommon to feel emotions that you don't normally feel.

I say, stick with it.. it does get easier as time goes on.

Maybe try finding a different form of Yoga to work with before you jump into Bikram. I do Hatha Yoga at my gym, and we stretch first, do a few sun salutations and then work on one or two poses before coming into Shavesena.

^^This. Yoga is difficult but shouldn't be stressful. Since you have never done yoga before I would recommend finding a beginner yoga class where they walk you through the basic poses and get you used to moving in this way. Work your way up to Bikram. I do an athletic yoga class which is very challenging and I can't always do all the poses...but I try and do the best I can. Gotta start somewhere. Keep at it, it will get easier!

bc119

LOVE everyone's support on this thread!

Don't let the first class turn you away - bikram is VERY intense, especially if you're not used to the heat. It will take 2-3 classes (if not more, 5-7) to adjust to the heat. Once you can handle the heat is when you can focus on the postures and push yourself deeper in each posture.

But I understand the emotional aspect of it... I've been practicing Bikram on-and-off since 2006 or 2007. I lost 30 lbs and throughout the last few years gained over 70 lbs. Going back to a Bikram class after gaining 70 lbs and realizing I didn't have the same flexibility I did prior was VERY upsetting to me. I cried on the way home because my physical body was preventing me from doing postures I KNEW how to do and was once able to do.

I read a quote somewhere (in regards to running) that said "no matter how many laps you do you're still lapping those on the couch". No matter how many postures you lie or sit through you're still doing better than those who didn't go to class at all!

It's a love-hate relationship with hot yoga but if you stick with it you might get to see the love side

Guillotined

I don't know much about yoga, but I have taken pilates a couple times. The instructor corrected me a few times as well. While no one wants to be called out, its good that you're getting shown attention. I'm sure her only intentions were to help you and make sure you don't hurt yourself, etc. As for the feeling your fat rolls and not being flexible.... its EXACTLY how I felt too, but it was only a reminder to me to keep pushing. Im 6'3 220lbs so I know I'll never be able to roll myself up and fit into little croissant packages like the other girls could but that's alright =] the fat will go away over time though.

Most of all, all physical activities are going to have a hump you'll have to get over. So just remember that everyone went through it, and have fun. :bigsmile:

cappri

As others have said yoga is about YOUR practice, everyone is focusing on themselves in class or they should be. It's better that the instructor was correcting you, that means you will get better faster. I don't like classes where the instructor just calls out poses and never makes any corrections on what anyone is doing.

DaniH826

Yoga is amazing, so please don't let one bad experience ruin it for you.

I've never tried the Bikram version and probably never will, but I've done yoga for years and absolutely love it. If you end up not being able to make friends with Bikram yoga, try another version would be my suggestion.

I personally took a couple basic classes, got a few DVDs and am currently following my own routine I put together on the Simply Yoga app.

The fabulous thing about yoga is that you can so highly modulate it according to your own body's needs and your own mental/emotional benefit. It really is amazing, and one class really tells you nothing much at all (except that you're a bit out of shape, obviously).

nvpixie

I LOVE yoga, but it's not as easy as it might look (obviously). I used to do it fairly often, but quit for several years and now I'm having to re-learn it all. I may know the poses, but my body doesn't and it rebels something awful. If you practice yoga daily, your flexibility will increase in no time. After just a few sessions, you'll notice a difference. Also, most yoga instructors offer to teach modified poses for beginners. Did you ask the instructor about that?

By the way, I've never tried Bikram. I bet it's pretty intense. Maybe you could try something a little more low-key.

BlueInkDot

Yoga is different from every other workout we normally do. Like you listed the things you usually do, it's just kind of a mesh of cardio and strength training. Yoga is on a completely different solar system from those areas of fitness.

You can be SO strong and have GREAT cardiovascular endurance and SUCK at yoga!! No joke!!

But if you KEEP TRYING at yoga, and go like once a week (even if you are TOTALLY FAILING every single time) You will slowly but surely improve over time - AND - get this - you will find that the benefits from Yoga will positively effect the other areas of your fitness too!

I totally suck at yoga, but I go once a week, and I've been SLOOOOOWLY getting better over time, and I've noticed the benefits in my strength training and cardio. You just have to be okay with the fact that your form will NOT look like the instructors' form, and THAT'S OKAY. Just do what YOU can do. The fact that you're THERE means you WIN. So don't worry about it! Just participate to the best of your ability.

kmbweber2014

My first ever hot yoga class was a Power Vinyasa class, I felt like an idiot in that class. However, I was sore for two days after it. I have gone every Saturday four 4 weeks and now I find myself practicing some of the positions at home. I absolutely love it, but it does take some time.

zillah73

I tried a number of yoga classes before I found the right one. I am overweight and inflexible and in regular yoga classes (ones that weren't specifically for beginners but stated beginners welcome) I would be dripping sweat by the second downward dog and wanting to leave. It was frustrating to the point of being both infuriating and defeating. As much as yoga appealed to me, I walked away. Then I found the right class for me.

It is truly a beginners class utilizing blocks, bolsters, blankets, straps and all sorts of modifiers. The point of the class is to train you body and mind, get you comfortable with the poses, etc. The class is spent improving maybe three or four total poses, taking time and small steps and modifiers until each pose is achieved before moving on to the next. No seemingly endless rounds of sun salutations, no falling behind the class and feeling terrible. I would recommend you call around to various yoga studios and see if you can't find a class like this.

MercenaryNoetic26

Yoga is something that looks easy but isn't. Not even for more conditioned people like me. I'm not too outta shape and Jillian Micheals yoga meltdown is a challenge for me. I can't do all of level 1 yet.

So just consider it as a new skill you are learning and improving on. It has less to do with your physical appearance and more with experience & "practice".

GC2B

Emotional breakdown....I walk home after yoga once and split up with my then husband of 8 years. Clarity over came me in class.
Best decision of my life. Period!

All that aside, there's something body, mind and spirit in yoga that I have never worked out. Don't fight it, just practice and enjoy.

msleanlegs

It sounds like you really pushed yourself to keep up on the poses. Congrats on your determination! If you really like yoga and want to continue, you could try an easier form of yoga and then work your way up to bikram. I do the gentler yogas (hatha and kundalini) and feel so refreshed afterward. If you're set on doing bikram, keep at it and enjoy the learning process. The flexibility will come. Don't feel bad about getting emotional during class. They're a natural part of life.