What should I do about this user?

Sherae12

Maybe they just need facts. I have a blog post about this EXACTLY actually.

Sherae12

But they won't ever change until they've had enough. Until they're ready, you really can't do much to help them. I'm sorry.

kennethmgreen

You're right guys, it just sucks. I was very nearly sucked into that, when I very first started I tried to justify eating 700-800 calories a day. I'm SO glad I stopped. I never binged, but I was TERRIFIED of food. luckily I was able to get out of that trap before it ever started, and I eat 1500-1600 daily now, and eat back part if not all my exercise calories. When I see these girls, it breaks my heart, but also makes me angry. I know that if I had slipped and fallen, my life wouldn't be the healthy, fit, vital life it is now. I've made so many improvements fitness-wise just by eating more, and I want them to feel happy and healthy just like I do. Many of them have "to be happy with myself" "to get rid of fat" written on their profiles, and state they are 80 pounds.

I guess I'll just have to bite my tongue and let them figure it out on their own.

Your OP started to bother me at first because it seemed like you were taking something public to get an audience. But your follow-up seems like you truly are concerned and confused about what to do.

Sounds like you have some empathy and experience you could share. Reach out to her if you want, but keep your expectations neutral. Be sincere. Share your own story. If she wants your help, you may have an opportunity to positively influence someone's life choices. If not, you can't take it personally, and move on.

_Witsy_

It's sad, I know, but there is nothing you can do. Reporting is not going to do anything. They need help, and they will seek it when they finally wake up and smell the coffee. It's heartbreaking. If you're friends with them, try supporting them.

This.

You can only hope and pray that she finds healthier ways to live her life...but kicking her off wouldn't be fair. I wouldn't kick off someone on the site who is on the opposite side of the spectrum and continuously eats 4000 cals a day (when they would be healthy at about 2000)...we all have our battles.

Jen800

You're right guys, it just sucks. I was very nearly sucked into that, when I very first started I tried to justify eating 700-800 calories a day. I'm SO glad I stopped. I never binged, but I was TERRIFIED of food. luckily I was able to get out of that trap before it ever started, and I eat 1500-1600 daily now, and eat back part if not all my exercise calories. When I see these girls, it breaks my heart, but also makes me angry. I know that if I had slipped and fallen, my life wouldn't be the healthy, fit, vital life it is now. I've made so many improvements fitness-wise just by eating more, and I want them to feel happy and healthy just like I do. Many of them have "to be happy with myself" "to get rid of fat" written on their profiles, and state they are 80 pounds.

I guess I'll just have to bite my tongue and let them figure it out on their own.

Your OP started to bother me at first because it seemed like you were taking something public to get an audience. But your follow-up seems like you truly are concerned and confused about what to do.

Sounds like you have some empathy and experience you could share. Reach out to her if you want, but keep your expectations neutral. Be sincere. Share your own story. If she wants your help, you may have an opportunity to positively influence someone's life choices. If not, you can't take it personally, and move on.

I'm glad you don't think I'm trying to get an audience anymore I just wasn't sure what other members did in these situations. The responses have been great though, thanks to everyone who has replied.

RunHardBeStrong

I know I'm not the "internet police" or anyone to tell anyone how to live their lives. However, after quickly glimpsing at a thread dedicated to some weight loss pill, I noticed a girl asking a question about the effectiveness of said pill. I thought her outfit looked really nice, so I clicked her profile for a closer look (Always into some fashion tips!) but then noticed she said she was 90 pounds or something and still had 5 or so pounds left to go on her ticker. Obviously I assumed she must be very short, so I took a look at her diary. She routinely ate under 800 calories, and binged frequently. I understand people have disorders, but it worried me. I wanted to help. Then, I took a look at her friends list. the first thing I saw was a picture of a young girl (claiming to be 18 but very likely under) with her ribs sticking so far out they were 3D. I also checked that girls food diary, and she eats between 300 and 500 calories per day. She also had comments on her profile about hating her "fat legs" and "fat face" which were both extremely small. The girl's friend list was compiled of all similar pictures and people, and it wasn't in a "lets support each other and make it out of this together" way, it was a pro ana way.

Anyway, I'm wondering what I should do if I see this? Do you think it would be a valid reason to report someone, or just leave it be? I know I'm not the internet police once again, but I really can't agree with someone supporting a pro ana life on a website designed for health and fitness. If they were in more of a supportive setting, and not trying to get down to 75-80 pounds, I wouldn't have an issue.

What do you think is the appropriate course of action? I feel so bad for these girls, and the ones they're possibly influencing to join this horrible lifestyle.

There first people who should be involved are their own parents. If they can't see their kids are this way, then NO AMOUNT of interference you provide may be viewed as verifiable to them. They listen to each other, not whom they think they should listen to.
I've seen it time and time again and as of a week ago dealt with an 18 year old 5'7" female at 118lbs trying to get down to 105lbs so she can be a model. Nothing I said to her made sense.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I agree with this. I've ended up having to remove anorexics from my friends because they aren't going to get help until they're ready and I couldn't watch them starve/kill themselves any longer. Not to mention they posted some of the most ignorant things that I had to refrain from commenting on, as I knew what I had to say wasn't going to be listened to.

cathdrew2

Our community Guidelines include:

No Promotion of Unsafe Weight-Loss Techniques or Eating Disorders

a) Posts intended to promote potentially unsafe or controversial weight loss products or procedures, including non-medically prescribed supplements or MLM products will be removed without warning.
b) Profiles, groups, messages, posts, or wall comments that encourage anorexia, bulimia, or very low calorie diets of any kind will be removed, and may be grounds for account deletion. This includes positive references to ana/mia, purging, or self-starving. Our goal is to provide users with the tools to achieve their weight management goals at a steady, sustainable rate. Use of the site to promote or glamorize dangerously low levels of eating is not permitted.
c) Photos intended to glamorize extreme thinness will be deleted.
d) Those seeking support in their recovery from eating disorders are welcome at MyFitnessPal.

Sounds like the posts are not in compliance with this portion of the guidelines. Flag it. More importantly, if you are the mother, sister or friend of this person do you want others to turn a blind eye when, by allowing the discussion, they encourage the behavior? It takes a village...

Claire_x90

As someone has has previously suffered an eating disorder and who has volunteered weekly on a phone hotline specifically for eating disorders my advice is back off unless they are PROMOTING eating disorders i.e. pro ana mia and giving out tips.

reporting someone for an eating disorder is not fair, they are entitled to used the website whether they are in recovery or not. It isn't ideal but realistically if you block their account they'll just make another one either here or one of the other million calorie counting app/sites.

People that are extremely underweight get criticized for their weight a lot more often than someone overweight. I personally feel this entire website promotes and perpetuates eating disorders as calorie counting, obsession over weight and exercise are deemed some of the criteria for certain eating disorders.

Most people that are anorexic or bulimic are extremely secretive and competitive with food and emotionally really struggling, honestly I think that if someone can find solace in a website like this, find some people that understand what it's like, although it may make the behavior worse, emotionally and psychologically it could be a huge benefit to them. Unless you see someone leaving posts like 'oh babe you went 3 calories over your limit, you should go vom' or anything of that nature I think it's best to just leave people alone and concentrate on your own life.

lotushead

As someone who has been through an ED and has a strong support group of girls that have also recovered (or are trying to recover), there's nothing you can say or do.

Whether it be in real life or online. Remember that.

Anything you say/do will most likely be taken the wrong way and could trigger a reaction that is undesirable. Girls with ED's are usually very embarrassed and ashamed so random people commenting on their habits or appearance is typically something they fear and hate.

If it were real life, I'd say leaving a note somewhere for them (unobserved) with a phone number and name on it to a health care professional would be a good idea. Otherwise, it sucks, but not much you can do besides just support them if they're truly someone you care about.

You're obviously compassionate :flowerforyou:

maegmez

Personally, I would have to reach out even though it won't change anything, it shows others care and there is a support system for them when they are ready.

EvgeniZyntx

Primum non nocere.

How does reporting the person help them?
It doesn't - either one tries to initiate a conversation -after all, they are on your friend list - or just walk away.

sammycat1

Good advice and since you've been there, I would just write this on the post.

sammycat1

You're right guys, it just sucks. I was very nearly sucked into that, when I very first started I tried to justify eating 700-800 calories a day. I'm SO glad I stopped. I never binged, but I was TERRIFIED of food. luckily I was able to get out of that trap before it ever started, and I eat 1500-1600 daily now, and eat back part if not all my exercise calories. When I see these girls, it breaks my heart, but also makes me angry. I know that if I had slipped and fallen, my life wouldn't be the healthy, fit, vital life it is now. I've made so many improvements fitness-wise just by eating more, and I want them to feel happy and healthy just like I do. Many of them have "to be happy with myself" "to get rid of fat" written on their profiles, and state they are 80 pounds.

I guess I'll just have to bite my tongue and let them figure it out on their own.

Meant to put the quote in.

jennifer_417

I would report them. For one thing, if they are banned, then they no longer have the support network they have on here, nor are they likely to be as much of an influence on others with the same problem. For another, no one should be above the MFP rules. We can have all the compassion in the world for them, but they should not be allowed to continue what they are doing on this site, against guidelines. Maybe if they get booted off enough websites, they will realize that what they are doing isn't good.

Alex

Dear Posters,

Thank you to everyone who contributed with respect and concern to this important and difficult question.

I wanted to offer a brief explanation for the locking of this thread.

The forum guidelines includes:
3. No Promotion of Unsafe Weight-Loss Techniques or Eating Disorders
a) Posts intended to promote potentially unsafe or controversial weight loss products or procedures, including non-medically prescribed supplements or MLM products will be removed without warning.
b) Profiles, groups, messages, posts, or wall comments that encourage anorexia, bulimia, or very low calorie diets of any kind will be removed, and may be grounds for account deletion. This includes positive references to ana/mia, purging, or self-starving. Our goal is to provide users with the tools to achieve their weight management goals at a steady, sustainable rate. Use of the site to promote or glamorize dangerously low levels of eating is not permitted.
c) Photos intended to glamorize extreme thinness will be deleted.
d) Those seeking support in their recovery from eating disorders are welcome at MyFitnessPal.

I encourage users to report members they are concerned about to MyFitnessPal staff so that we can investigate the situation and take the appropriate actions, including reaching out to members with information on accessing resources for help.

MyFitnessPal strongly recommends that anyone suffering from the symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia, or Compulsive eating make use of the resources offered by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. You may reach the ANAD hotline by phone in the US: 847-831-3438 (Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, Central Time) or on the web at http://www.anad.org/site/anadweb/

At our discretion, this locked thread may be deleted entirely in the near future.

With respect,
Olivia
MyFitnessPal Community Manager