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I will never be happy with myself (ED related)

thighgapsplease
thighgapsplease Posts: 5
edited January 19 in Health and Weight Loss
I am an 18 year old female who is about to graduate high school and go off to college in the fall. I am so very excited for this big step and know it will be so wonderful when it finally happens. I've had a great high school experience and i know that college will only be better. But, I've struggled with eating disorders since i was 12 years old when I discovered purging. That became my go to comfort. I am currently at a healthy weight (5'8 128.5 pounds bmi of like 19.5?) but ive been lower. I don't see myself stopping this dieting anytime soon. I am going on a trip and my goal weight by the time I leave is 125 pounds. when I come back I hope to be down by another pound at least. I workout almost everyday until i am dead tired. I run all the time and try to eat enough to maintain but not gain, that is until I decided I wanted to be especially thin for college. I don't really know why I'm posting this, guess I just wanted to vent and get this off my chest. I'm losing myself very quickly i know i am. I only hope I can catch myself before I fall.

Replies

  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    I am an 18 year old female who is about to graduate high school and go off to college in the fall. I am so very excited for this big step and know it will be so wonderful when it finally happens. I've had a great high school experience and i know that college will only be better. But, I've struggled with eating disorders since i was 12 years old when I discovered purging. That became my go to comfort. I am currently at a healthy weight (5'8 128.5 pounds bmi of like 19.5?) but ive been lower. I don't see myself stopping this dieting anytime soon. I am going on a trip and my goal weight by the time I leave is 125 pounds. when I come back I hope to be down by another pound at least. I workout almost everyday until i am dead tired. I run all the time and try to eat enough to maintain but not gain, that is until I decided I wanted to be especially thin for college. I don't really know why I'm posting this, guess I just wanted to vent and get this off my chest. I'm losing myself very quickly i know i am. I only hope I can catch myself before I fall.


    Im bulimic and have been EDNOS in the past, so i can understand the feeling of having no control and losing quickly and never being happy wth yourself. You need to speak to a professional-if you WANT help that is. Not all of us do. Try joining the eating disorders groups on here too.
    Feel free to message if you need any support x
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