negative comments about weight loss
mumtoonegirl
Posts: 586 Member
We were at my inlaws for easter and I could not get over all the comments from two members of the family about how I have lost too much, that I must not eat enough, am I doing this a healthy way.
Well the rest of the family is VERY overweight, most have terrible eating habits and few do any sort of physical activity. My DH and I are the odd people out since we promote nutrtion in our daughter and even more so lots of physical activity.
It was frustrating and slightly hurtful. I have worked my *kitten* off (literally) to loose almost 70lbs and transform my body and my health.
My one SIL and I talked nutrition much of the time as she is taking her health very seriously and is trying to loose weight and change a lifetime of eating habits (sooooo proud of her).
I know they mean well, and I know for this family having someone who looses a lot of weight, does it right and in a very healthy manner is outside the norm for them. But it was frustrating and I felt like I had to keep telling them that healthy eating is possible on 1200 calories (they could consume that in a single meal on a regular basis) and that there are healthy food choices that are easy to make and taste a million times better than the boxed crap they live on.
Done my rant.... this is why I love this board - like minded people.
Well the rest of the family is VERY overweight, most have terrible eating habits and few do any sort of physical activity. My DH and I are the odd people out since we promote nutrtion in our daughter and even more so lots of physical activity.
It was frustrating and slightly hurtful. I have worked my *kitten* off (literally) to loose almost 70lbs and transform my body and my health.
My one SIL and I talked nutrition much of the time as she is taking her health very seriously and is trying to loose weight and change a lifetime of eating habits (sooooo proud of her).
I know they mean well, and I know for this family having someone who looses a lot of weight, does it right and in a very healthy manner is outside the norm for them. But it was frustrating and I felt like I had to keep telling them that healthy eating is possible on 1200 calories (they could consume that in a single meal on a regular basis) and that there are healthy food choices that are easy to make and taste a million times better than the boxed crap they live on.
Done my rant.... this is why I love this board - like minded people.
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Replies
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They are jealous!0
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I have had the negative comments too. I agree it could be jealousy.
Just remember you are doing it for you not them.
Good job on the loss!0 -
As long as you are at a healthy weight, ignore the naysayers.0
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No matter what you do there are always two relatives who think you did it wrong. Unless one of them is a medical professional don't worry about it. And even then, get a second opinion.
Many people don't understand that it is possible to lose a lot of weight in a healthy manner. So many fad diets and pills are advertised that they believe it's the only way. Next year, when you've sustained your weight loss and you're still looking strong and healthy they may be asking you for your secret.0 -
yes I have done this 1000000% healthy, no pills, no powders, just me, clean eating and an hour a day at the gym 5x days a week. I have done this over an 18 month period but this family has their head in the sand about how bad their health is impacted by their poor eating choices. My DH is the ONLY member of his family who has not eaten his way into diabetes. He is the only one who does not have medical problems, but he is also the only one who has always been active, even at his heaviest he was playing hockey 3x a week. But that was not enough he now goes to the gym 5x a week in the morning and I go 5x a week at night (we have a 6 year old daughter).
My DH is VERY VERY proud of me, he is grateful that I took control of our family's health and eating habits. Now being celiac we had to make major changes because of me but we have never sought out unhealthy alternatives (we had GF pasta for the first time in a year last week and said never again). I am about portion control, my meat portions are now 6-8oz not a 14oz steak, we fill up on healthy veggies, lots of water and lots of activity.
My DH said the same thing, they are jealous. My one SIL asked me a while ago how I started loosing the weight and she said oh I give up bread and I can loose like you, my answer back was no... give up all the unhealthy food and go to the gym 5x a week. She said oh I could never do that - and my answer was in my head - it is all about priorities.... my health and the health of my family comes before anything else now in our lives.
Thanks for the support!!!!0 -
I am, according to BMI I am now at the 'healthy' range, I even have about 15lbs to loose and I would still fall easily in the healthy range. I am FAR from underweight. But to a family who is all at least 100lbs overweight each someone who is at a healthy weight looks tiny.0
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We were at my inlaws for easter and I could not get over all the comments from two members of the family about how I have lost too much, that I must not eat enough, am I doing this a healthy way.
Well the rest of the family is VERY overweight, most have terrible eating habits and few do any sort of physical activity. My DH and I are the odd people out since we promote nutrtion in our daughter and even more so lots of physical activity.
It was frustrating and slightly hurtful. I have worked my *kitten* off (literally) to loose almost 70lbs and transform my body and my health.
My one SIL and I talked nutrition much of the time as she is taking her health very seriously and is trying to loose weight and change a lifetime of eating habits (sooooo proud of her).
I know they mean well, and I know for this family having someone who looses a lot of weight, does it right and in a very healthy manner is outside the norm for them. But it was frustrating and I felt like I had to keep telling them that healthy eating is possible on 1200 calories (they could consume that in a single meal on a regular basis) and that there are healthy food choices that are easy to make and taste a million times better than the boxed crap they live on.
Done my rant.... this is why I love this board - like minded people.
It's only a reflection of how they feel about themselves. I challenge you to try to motivate them to get to the same place you are in. Trust me, they will thank you in heaps afterwards.0 -
Great job on the weight loss. I ignore my family members :bigsmile:
You need to do what is best for you; its too bad people try to bring you down with negative comments.0 -
I wish I could remember which edition of Psychology Today I read about this in, and I would send you a copy of the article. Psychologically, we hate change, even if we say that we want it or want to support it. So we typically do whatever we can to stop it. Your family is making negative comments to try to stop you from losing weight and to make you gain the weight back to bring their lives back into balance. You losing weight makes them have to see the world, and you, differently, and it's uncomfortable for them. Don't worry about it. Just keep calm, carry on, and keep losing!0
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Your gorgeous, they are overweight and jealous, you worked hard to get where you are they are lazy....Their words shouldn't hurt you whatsoever.... Look at yourself then look at them laugh it off and be proud of yourself0
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Use that as your motivation. The average American has such a skewed picture in their mind of what a healthy person should look like it is ridiculous. If you have done your research, and you are trying to adhere to healthy weight loss, water consumption, dietary needs, and exercise, you ARE doing it the healthy way....and I am pretty sure they are not as educated as you have made yourself. Don't worry about them....use it to make yourself better! Your SIL sounds like someone who can be in your corner, and you can be in her's! Keep it up! 0
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First thing is YOUROCK congrats on doing this in a healthy manner and taking care of you! Many times negative comments are really directed inward, they know inside they need to do what you are doing. Try not to take it personally. People who eat huge amounts of food often cannot fathom eating 1400 calories in a day...but they don't know that if you are doing it right..its actually a LOT of food.. I struggle to get up to that on some days because I am not hungry. Glad you SIL is looking at this as a possibility.. it may save her life. Stand tall darling.. and BE PROUD not only are you making a difference in YOUR life but others as well!!!0
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A lot of times when a person has convinced themselves that they "just can't" lose weight, they assume that anyone who can is either anorexic or a drug addict. It's a desperate attempt to protect their ego. Personally, I'm not looking forward to seeing it at the next family gathering.0
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We were at my inlaws for easter and I could not get over all the comments from two members of the family about how I have lost too much, that I must not eat enough, am I doing this a healthy way.
To me, that sounds like they're fussing over you because they care. I would love it if anyone in my family would express concern. I've been stick thin, from being sick, and all my dad did was talk about how much smaller my sister is.
That doesn't mean that they're right, or that you should change anything. Just reassure them that you're doing well, and going about this in a healthy way.0 -
Comments like that are about themselves, not you. People want to support that their own behavior is either ok, or is not possible to change. This is always threatened when someone they are close to actually does change. Dont make their problem your problem.0
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People have strange ways of showing they 'care' sometimes. If they insist on making comments, show them a BMI chart, and where they are on it. That will shut them up!0
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I get the same comments. "Aren't you afraid you'll lose too much? You're too thin you need to eat something. Don't lose too much or you'll look anorexic!! Damn girl you didn't need to lose anything"
Seriously getting sick of defending myself. I eat all the time (healthy) and exercise my *kitten* off. People just can't accept when other people are succeeding at something they wish they could have the willpower to do. Love my fit fam!!!!0 -
This is dead-on...usually those comments are their way of justifying their own weight issues.Comments like that are about themselves, not you. People want to support that their own behavior is either ok, or is not possible to change. This is always threatened when someone they are close to actually does change. Dont make their problem your problem.
Also, sometimes when people see you after a big loss, you look so shockingly different to them, they may jump to the conclusion that its not healthy...but don't let it bother you!
Congrats on your success :drinker:0 -
First of all, great job losing weight and getting healthy! High five!
Have you ever noticed that this kind of behaviour isn't just directed at people that lose weight and change their lifestyle? There are always people, especially family members that just can't say anything positive when something good happens to someone. New car, something good happening in life.......it's total jealousy and the inability to be happy for someone.0 -
We were at my inlaws for easter and I could not get over all the comments from two members of the family about how I have lost too much, that I must not eat enough, am I doing this a healthy way.
Well the rest of the family is VERY overweight, most have terrible eating habits and few do any sort of physical activity. My DH and I are the odd people out since we promote nutrtion in our daughter and even more so lots of physical activity.
It was frustrating and slightly hurtful. I have worked my *kitten* off (literally) to loose almost 70lbs and transform my body and my health.
My one SIL and I talked nutrition much of the time as she is taking her health very seriously and is trying to loose weight and change a lifetime of eating habits (sooooo proud of her).
I know they mean well, and I know for this family having someone who looses a lot of weight, does it right and in a very healthy manner is outside the norm for them. But it was frustrating and I felt like I had to keep telling them that healthy eating is possible on 1200 calories (they could consume that in a single meal on a regular basis) and that there are healthy food choices that are easy to make and taste a million times better than the boxed crap they live on.
Done my rant.... this is why I love this board - like minded people.
I run into the same thing with my husbands side of the family. They met me when I was a my heaviest and in it seems that in their minds that is my 'normal' weight. Can't tell you how many times in the last 10 years I've told these people that this is my normal weight and not 70 lbs heavier.
I console myself by keeping in mind that we see the family on average 3-5 times per year so surely I can tolerate 15-40 hours per year. (keep in mind if you see people on a regular basis, your weight loss will seem to be the norm and no comments will be necessary)0 -
I had problems with my friends calling me "skinny b****" all the time and it would really upset me. I weighed 135 and I was eating very healthy and working out 5 days a week. They insisted that i was not eating enough and i was working out too much. I eventually let it get to me too much and ended up gaining 30 pounds because of how they were treating me. Now, I see that they were trying to break me down and I let them do it. So now i'm starting my journey again after having my first child, and I'm almost back to where I was. I hope you do not let those negitive comments get to you. Be proud of how far you come. You've earned it!0
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I told my DBF that if his family would start discussing our new life of health and fitness, he should tell them to back off. We are not doing it for anyone else. And I really don't care to discuss it with anyone.0
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"You've lost too much" or "You don't need to lose anymore" Really pi**es me off!0
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I've come to the conclusion that some people just feel more comfortable with me being fat. They don't like change. And, they secretly wish they could lose the weight too, so they make comments like that in an attempt to hide their jealousy. Strange world we live in huh? The strangest...lol0
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Let that negativity push you that much harder. Look up & keep smiling doing what you doing. Push yourself them 2 more inches harder0
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