Scary Comment From My 10 Yr Old

conorpatmanCHANGED

I would definitely not ignore this--try to actually talk to her about health, and weight, and the way media influences things in an unrealistic way. Don't just tell her she is beautiful or healthy, but give her the reasons why so that she can actually understand it. It may seem weird to talk about body image and stuff with a ten year old, but it's better to give her more tools now so she can handle the pressures that she is experiencing.

good advice

emmab0902

I would just keep reinforcing that she is beautiful then change subject so she doesn't think attention is gained thru weight/dieting etc. Encourage her to keep healthy and fit and eat healthily as a family. Good luck!

ahubbard134

Sorry guys, but i'm confused. Why should you avoid telling kids that too much junk food makes you fat? It's true! And being fat is bad -- like way worse than not sleeping well from a sugar rush. I mean, being fat kills people. Statistically, your kids are more likely to die from diseases caused by getting fat than virtually anything else. Why not just share all the neat stuff you've learned about healthy dieting, BMR, RMR, how to avoid starvation mode, bring them on your next trip to the nutritionist......I know you are parents and apparently there is some rule that you are only allowed to tell kids sayings off hallmark cards, but I found it really confusing at that age to have mixed messages like that.

gapm

When my daughter was in pre-school she had a teacher who was obese. She never heard comments about weight at home about her or anybody else. We talked about some food being 'junky' because it didn't have anything the body needed to stay healthy, and we talked about other foods being 'real' food because it helped the body stay healthy.

One day she came home with the pronouncement that she never wanted to get fat. That triggered an on-going discussion about weight. My personal philosophy is that if you are eating a healthy diet, are able to physically do all the things you need and want to do, and are getting regular exercise, what you weigh is what you weigh. Over the years I have made it a point to point out how magazine depictions of women are distorted and faked. I made it a point to talk to her about my belief that dieting is a waste of time, and the changes I was making to my eating habits because I felt they needed to improve. I did not discuss the fact that I had a BMI that put me in the obese category, but I talked about how I needed to get more exercise for my health. I did what I talked about; I improved my diet and I get more exercise. The side benefit has been that I have lost weight, but that is not the major focus of our conversations.

My methods won't necessarily work for every child because there are other factors that just what one parent does and each child is different, but it seems to have worked for my daughter. At 17 years old, she seems to be free of concern about dieting and her weight.

charliemarie923

Sorry guys, but i'm confused. Why should you avoid telling kids that too much junk food makes you fat? It's true! And being fat is bad -- like way worse than not sleeping well from a sugar rush. I mean, being fat kills people. Statistically, your kids are more likely to die from diseases caused by getting fat than virtually anything else. Why not just share all the neat stuff you've learned about healthy dieting, BMR, RMR, how to avoid starvation mode, bring them on your next trip to the nutritionist......I know you are parents and apparently there is some rule that you are only allowed to tell kids sayings off hallmark cards, but I found it really confusing at that age to have mixed messages like that.
[/quote


I know at that age i knew all the 'hallmark card' comments were BS anyway...

StephanieCo3

Everything is moving down the line faster now. I teach middle school and I've had several sexually active 11/12 year olds, it's crazy. And I think a big difference is that tv shows used to promote being healthy- characters would talk about eating all your vegetables so you'll grow big and strong, now it's all about not being fat (totally for vanity purposes not health). I think that if instead of using the negative terms like fat, you can just start promoting being healthy with her. Encourage her to ride her bike so she'll be healthy, let her help make food choices that are going to be more healthy, etc.

sunnyskys2013

Sorry guys, but i'm confused. Why should you avoid telling kids that too much junk food makes you fat? It's true! And being fat is bad -- like way worse than not sleeping well from a sugar rush. I mean, being fat kills people. Statistically, your kids are more likely to die from diseases caused by getting fat than virtually anything else. Why not just share all the neat stuff you've learned about healthy dieting, BMR, RMR, how to avoid starvation mode, bring them on your next trip to the nutritionist......I know you are parents and apparently there is some rule that you are only allowed to tell kids sayings off hallmark cards, but I found it really confusing at that age to have mixed messages like that.

I agree with you. I think kids should know what food does to their health. That there is good food and bad food.

quirkytizzy

Could it be that she is developing earlier than her friends at school and maybe she or others have noticed and mentioned the changes in her body? I would tell her every day how beautiful and healthy and strong she is and reinforce the positive messages. I have 3 boys and my middle child is such a picky eater we have even had referrals from the school nurse due to him being underweight, we are on the opposite end but I truly understand as a parent that you are concerned. Best wishes and good luck with everything,

This is a valid issue. I developed very early and often felt I was fat. But I wasn't at all - I just had boobs and an *kitten* much earlier than my peers.

qisg

Do you think she is overweight? If not then tell her she may be about to grow taller, a good thing. If you do thing she has a few extra pounds then it is up to you to buy less junk foods in the house, and fill the gaps with healthy foods at meal time. A10 year old should be free from worry about such things, she is active and with less high calorie food as treats her weight will correct itself without putting her through any drama.

PikaKnight

Has any of her peers pointed anything out to her? Don't sweat it too much. At that age, she is becoming aware of changes taking place with her body. Just make sure she knows she is beautiful inside and out. You are doing the right thing by teaching good eating habits. Keep making sure her self esteem is in check; 10 is an awkward age:(

I don't know what she and her friends talk about with regard to weight, etc., at school or at swimming, but I'm sure these things come up. She was not at all clear when I asked her where that concern came from. I just worry about eating disorders. I had a friend in high school who was very naturally thin (5'4, 105 lbs, tops!) She suddenly became enamored with Karen Carpenter and wanted to look just like her, right down to the anorexia. KC died a few months after my friend first started this "skinny like her" talk and that snapped her out of it, fortunately. But ever since then, I worry about young girls who want to emulate that emaciated look. So hearing my already thin child make comments about body weight sends off alarm bells.

Thanks for the comments everyone. :flowerforyou:

Okay, you just said that she "became enamored with Karen Carpenter, right down to the anorexia"....that's not good and a huge red flag. She needs a reality check before she starts walking down that road. Unfortunately, not sure what resources are at your disposal, but really watching her eating habits and possibly talking with (or having her talk with) a counselor might be something you need to look into.

hhayes06

Has any of her peers pointed anything out to her? Don't sweat it too much. At that age, she is becoming aware of changes taking place with her body. Just make sure she knows she is beautiful inside and out. You are doing the right thing by teaching good eating habits. Keep making sure her self esteem is in check; 10 is an awkward age:(

I don't know what she and her friends talk about with regard to weight, etc., at school or at swimming, but I'm sure these things come up. She was not at all clear when I asked her where that concern came from. I just worry about eating disorders. I had a friend in high school who was very naturally thin (5'4, 105 lbs, tops!) She suddenly became enamored with Karen Carpenter and wanted to look just like her, right down to the anorexia. KC died a few months after my friend first started this "skinny like her" talk and that snapped her out of it, fortunately. But ever since then, I worry about young girls who want to emulate that emaciated look. So hearing my already thin child make comments about body weight sends off alarm bells.

Thanks for the comments everyone. :flowerforyou:

Okay, you just said that she "became enamored with Karen Carpenter, right down to the anorexia"....that's not good and a huge red flag. She needs a reality check before she starts walking down that road. Unfortunately, not sure what resources are at your disposal, but really watching her eating habits and possibly talking with (or having her talk with) a counselor might be something you need to look into.

She wasn't talking about her daughter being enamored with Karen Carpenter, she was talking about her friend in high school.

OP, I think you are handling this very well, just keep talking to her and listening to her. Stay involved and keep providing healthy examples, she will come through the teen years just fine.