Lifestyle change for my future

Cheyluvlee

Hi all,

This is my first time in the community, I believe. Perhaps it has been so long since I've been here but I had no idea there was a community since I only used the app. By the way, is this community available in an app?? . If so, perfect! Please let me know.

Here is my story: I am trying to lose about 40-50lbs. I've been overweight for 10 years which is most of my twenties. This is year 11 and I am ending it now.

Current: I am 5'5 and my highest weight has been 215, which was last January when I started being more cognizant of my eating habits and working out...again. I am currently 205-207. I have an hour glass shape and I manage to carry my weight well lately. Even at my lowest weight, I was considered thick and it was fine then.

Background: Now, I've not been under 200 in 2 years. In the past, I've lost the weight and got down to as low as 165-170 by exercise, and then I put it all back on again because I LOVED to eat out and I wasn't working out as much or ever or just randomly depending on my schedule. My metabolism undoubtedly slowed down after high school. In those 10 years, I gained about 65 lbs. For the first five years, I had money to spend and lots of late nights out, hitting up restaurants whenever I was hungry, partying (not hard) and just being young and enjoying life with every bite of steak and chicken fajitas, weekend steaks and apple pie desserts with wine, and strawberry daiquiri or pina colada with big breakfasts for the hangovers... until I learned about calories and going up in sizes and of course financial responsibility. I'd join the gym and go for a while and then fall off. I'd rent a car for a summer and gain an additional 15 lbs because the drive thru was accessible and I never had to walk there. My eating habits were sometimes one meal a day because I''d be running around too busy to give my body fuel and sometimes I'd eat as high as 3000 cals a day depending on what I'd drink for cocktails or eat for apps, dinners and late night desserts.. I never seem to go past 215 though. .

What has changed? It has been an overall lifestyle change. I just graduated from college and it took 10 years( I went for one year, took five years off and went back to start over and finish in 4) and a lot of emotional baggage and most importantly, personal growth. I've been making a lot of positive changes in my life since returning to school ( spiritual growth, positive relationships, letting go of bad/dead friendships or anything that doesn't serve me, grow me or make me stronger, bonding closer to family, focused on career and life goals and self improvement, etc.). Since finishing school in December and starting the new year, I am focused on an even more positive and brighter me, and all of these issues/aspects have come to a head and have been dealt with, but the weight is the last of that baggage.


On March 6th, I had an emergency room visit which scared me straight. It was just post grad stress and anxiety ( job search, future worries, bills, mortgages, family stress, etc) but when you think you are having a heart attack under 30 and then you may possibly have blood clots from inactivity which is causing your chest pains and shortness of breath (all came back negative), it puts life into perspective. After my EKG and blood work came back perfectly and i was convinced my heart wouldn't jump out of my chest if I start working out, I decided to join the gym in the following week and start tackling my 10 year battle with my weight and maintaining my health. I was seriously out of shape. I could not walk up the stairs without breathing like it is my last breath.

Post emergency room visit, I began increasing my spiritual growth and doing morning meditations and sending out inspirational quotes and positive affirmations on Pinterest and Instagram, and blogging to help me keep my positive outlook, goals focused and my mind at peace, but it also has been helping others. I am working on my mind and body while I work toward my future career and future life in general. I landed a new job in my field withing three weeks of doing so and am committed to keeping this positive outlook and working out after work and just keep moving in general.


Going forward: This is a lifestyle change. There is no time limit for this weight loss. Well, I have a set a mini goal for getting under 200 by my birthday in two weeks ( a total of five weeks time). If I hit it, I hit it. If I come close, good. I just want to know that I am doing it the right way (which is why I will ask my next question in the help section). I am not working towards a wedding, although I will be attending one in the summer (and for once I am not stressing about my weight) . I've already been on my celebration graduation vacation in Jan and was not uncomfortable for a change and I think this mostly has to do with the fact that I've found a clothing store that makes beautiful dresses and clothes in 1-3x. So, I no longer feel uncomfortable in clothing which is good, but also bad because I can get too comfortable. In general, I am just more accepting of my body and its curves, and who I am. It also helps that my bf is always grabbing at my curves and loves me as he met me in my high weight, despite me wanting to get back down to size, but I am also still aware of my level of fitness and the fact that I am carrying extra weight no matter how comfortable I feel.

I am looking forward to a healthy and successful future and eventually I hope to get married and have children with my darling,supportive bf and best friend of four years this year. We have a deal that I wont become a twig (impossible for my body type) because he wants to be able to hold and squeeze me lol, and just do what makes me happy and comfortable. He has been going to the gym with me throughout the years and since I started back consistently it is part of our weekend mornings. He also encourages healthy eating habits as he grew up on lots of veggies, fish and lean chicken and rarely ever ate out until he met me. What I once thought was crazy, actually makes delicious sense now. This makes it easier because there is a balance. I've learned from him and sometimes I have to take the third cup of juice out of his hand (sweets are his Kryptonite).

I think about my future children and I don't want to pass on bad eating habits to them or avoidable health risks. I also don't want to risk not being able to have kids because of my weight or gaining more and not knowing how to get down or worse, having complications. My mom had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant with my brother and me, and I was 11lbs when I was born and she couldn't have any more. She also battled her weight in her 20's like me and most of her life before she eventually got diabetes from life stress and skipping meals why? Running around busily with work and not eating properly or enough at the right times. Blood sugar crashed, slow metabolism - Bad habits. She has it managed now, but I am well aware of the path I don't want to continue on. I am not my mom, of course, so her story doesn't have to be mine, but I am also aware of the need to make these changes for my own health and well being. We only have one body and one mind, so we've got to treat them well. It has been three weeks since I have started working out at the local PF, and I've been going at it with motivation and determination to just build my strength and endurance. My eating habits are not perfect but they are much better. My workouts are invigorating and I push myself to keep going with Jillian Michaels' in my head whenever I feel like slacking off. The goal is to get at least 30 mins of workout in per day and I've been doing 90 mins of exercise for 3-5 days and movement (walking, yoga,even dancing in the mirror in heels, any movement for at least 30 mins a day) is a must. This is just another journey, an important life long lesson and I am appreciating and learning from every step.

Thanks for reading and good luck to all of you! .