Men & women: Has your mentality changed after losing weight?

samanthajade124

This question is for men or women I suppose... I want to lose a total of 100lbs. It is a lot and I am aware of this...but I know that it is attainable after talking to some other people on MFP. What I am worried about is that after I lose the weight and my body is drastically changed, that my mentality is still going to be stuck on being fat. Or even just overthinking things... I'm not losing weight for anyone but myself. For myself to feel comfortable in my own skin. But say after I lose the weight, and a guy were to show me attention..I have the fear that I would questions as to whether or not I would have gotten said guy's attention at my current weight, and I would end up not being able to develop a regular relationship.

I don't want to let society influence me into wanting to be thinner. But it's hard not to be influenced...even if just slightly. My main priority is to get my self confidence back and shed the weight that I gained during a bad 5 year span of my life. I'm trying to be more positive but there are days where I get a bit down and I don't really have a support group or anyone to talk to about it. Sorry for venting =/ but if you have similar thoughts, or any suggestions... it'd be appreciated. Thanks for your time!

erikmsp72

You know, what I really have been feeling is empowerment. Like, before I started on this journey, I would often rationalize my weight gain, saying, "Well, people gain weight as they get older." And stuff like that. I kept convincing myself it was normal to get heavier and heavier (with fat).

But having had some success with MFP -- I'm not to my goal weight of 180 yet -- now I just feel much more able to DO things. You know? I have experienced the fact that my choices have a real effect on my body and my health. Choosing to make 1/24th of each day active in the gym (or at home) and using MFP to count my calories has meant I now am trimmer and lighter than I've been in DECADES. I can buy pants off the rack at Target instead of having to order them or hunt for the XXL sizes. All my clothes fit better. Even my glasses look better on my newly-chisled face. And my blood pressure has improved a TON, so there are real health benefits. And my spouse says I'm sexy and means it, so it's changing our relationship for the better.

But I did start slow. The first day I exercised I said, "I am going to manage to stay on this elliptical machine without a heart attack for five minutes and then I'm done for the day." So. . . that's exactly what I did. . . BUT I logged that exercise on MFP, and got to eat a bit more . . . and the next day I exercised some more. Just a little more. And I logged that too.

So I guess . . . just know that you *can* make informed choices, about the food that you eat and about the amount of exercise you do. And when you keep on making those informed choices. . . it will change you for the better. I still look in the mirror and see places I'd like to trim down. Everyone has those, you know? But I *also* look in the mirror and think, "Yeah! It's happening! It works! I can DO this!"

You can, too. It's just math. . . calories used, calories eaten . . . and MFP does the math for you. How easy is that?

Finally -- find some buddies and friends who will interact with you on a daily basis here, and comment on what exercise you did and praise you for days when it says you are under your calorie goal. Having that daily boost seems like a small silly thing and it IS a small silly thing; it also really does help.

chinalavy

Newly-chisled face ; Love it good for you enjoy it

g0ldenb0y55

Push the "GO" button and don't look back!

Worry about all little things after you've reached your goal!

iceman7840

Try not to overthink things. One day at a time and take it as it comes. If you start thinking too far ahead, it tends to get depressing and it can mess with your head. Take it from someone who has been there and is there right now.

Think about today and think about tomorrow...that's it!

rebamay87

If it helps Sam, I'm the same as you

I've currently lost just over 30kgs.. which is what? almost 68lbs? And with the changes, I do notice people noticing me more - Like I'm married and my husband is very receptive to the changes but yeah you do notice other people noticing. Not so much women, but men when they're being extra helpful, or flirting, I wonder if its because how I looked has changed, or if its because they always would have done that.

It can be frustrating not to mention undermining! I often have to shake the feeling and ignore it.

That would be my advice, just push it to the side. The advice given to me was just focus on whats happening now and take it at face value. Nothing good came from over thinking a situation and pulling it into pieces as big as rice. If they're being friendly.. just take it at face value and let it pep you up a bit. Obviously someone who is going to get into a relationship with you will be doing so more than based on your looks, so cross that bridge when you get to it. But until that happens - just enjoy the attention. What harm can come of that?

squall88c

I agree that you are over thinking this.
100lbs is a long journey.
Many things will happen in between.
Once you lose 100lbs of fat, you'll never go back.