Scared to give notice...

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aleyjewell
aleyjewell Posts: 65 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have been at my office for almost 5 years. I have a boss that is nice to me but a spaz and stress and freaks out over little things. When I started we had a front desk person and I was back desk. Since she left 2 years ago we went through 3 people in a year. The doctor then decided that we would have her husband come out of ealry retirement and help and I would take over most resposibilities. I only recieved a $0.50 raise taken on twice the responsibility. PLus I have no one to vent to when my boss has her freak outs.

So I slowly started looking for a new postition. I wanted one with more pay and benefits(I have NO benefits). I was finally offered an in at the company I wanted to work for last Friday. The thing is I am terrifed to give notice. She will freak. She doesn't know how to do half of what I do and no one else here does either. I have to give notice by Friday because orientation is the 22nd.

How should I approach this? I don't know what to say to her. I know it is a better opportunity for me but I feel so guilty.
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Replies

  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,487 Member
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    Don't feel guilty, you have to do what is best for you and your family. Approach just like that. They will survive without you.
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
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    Tell her you need the benefits and it is a wonderful opportunity for you and your family. Let her know how much you have loved working there and will always enjoy the memories. (You will need her for years to come on reference letters...).....:bigsmile:
  • jamk1446
    jamk1446 Posts: 5,577 Member
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    Tell her you need the benefits and it is a wonderful opportunity for you and your family. Let her know how much you have loved working there and will always enjoy the memories. (You will need her for years to come on reference letters...).....:bigsmile:

    This is good. Focus on the positive when you turn in your notice.

    You can't stop her from freaking out if she's going to freak out. It may be awkward or unpleasant but she'll have to get over it sometime or she's just going to make things worse for herself. Be prepared to start showing her or someone what it is you do before you leave. Make them a cheat sheet of tasks and important contacts.
  • Jane_1705
    Jane_1705 Posts: 152 Member
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    Tell her you need the benefits and it is a wonderful opportunity for you and your family. Let her know how much you have loved working there and will always enjoy the memories. (You will need her for years to come on reference letters...).....:bigsmile:

    agree with this. Keep it positive about what you will gain in new role, keep it professional and non personal.
    Also don't burn bridges, the world is a small place.
    Hope it goes well and congrats on your new role.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    Not to be rude (really)..but you're an adult, just do what you have to do. No reason to be scared.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Just say that you are sorry but you need more money than this. We all have to make ends meet somehow!
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    If she freaks out too bad, simply explain to her that you were hoping it would not come to this and simply walk out the door. Consider it a two week vacation.
  • cazzer69
    cazzer69 Posts: 162 Member
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    Ask yerself this....
    If she needed to cut costs, do you think she would hesitate to make you redundant?

    If your answer was yes she would, you're wrong.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    Please do NOT feel guilty, your boss hasn't felt guilty for loading on you more work with very little return!!
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    you are going to a job with more pay and more benefits and hopefully a nicer boss.

    just put in your notice.

    companies expect that "at will" employees can leave at any time and "at will" employees know that a company can fire them at any time.

    it's an economic arrangement between you and the company you work for. nothing more.
  • neacail
    neacail Posts: 228 Member
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    What I've done in the past, is give my employer the opportunity to counter the offer from the new company.

    I ask my boss to schedule a meeting to discuss my employment. When the meeting time comes, I explain to my boss that I have received an offer letter from another company, and I then present the offer letter to him for him to review.

    One of two things then happens: a) My boss counters the offer, or b) My boss wishes me well in my new endeavour, and I hand him my official written notice.

    My reasons for leaving, in the event they are discussed, will be discussed in my exit interview: not at the time of my resignation.

    In your case, if the above scenario just isn't feasible, I would type up a clear and concise letter or resignation: one that explicitly states the reasons for leaving and provide her with that. I would not discuss the situation with her until she's cooled down.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    After 5 years, you must know the place inside and out. That's probably why you're feeling like you, as an employee, are irreplaceable. However, your tasks can be learned by another, and your place of employment will stay in business after you leave them. They will figure it out. I feel similar anxiety when I go on vacation. But the world will continue, for you and your old boss. I promise.
  • aleyjewell
    aleyjewell Posts: 65 Member
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    Thank everyone. I will type up a letter but I feel I owe her an in person explanation. Like I said, I understand her and she has been good to me. I have never been good at leaving a job. I get emotionally and personally connected to my employers.
  • determined136
    determined136 Posts: 332
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    No one but you is going to take care of you. If she is a decent person she will understand and be gracious but if not just rip it off like a bandaid and then you don't have to look back!

    Best of luck to you!!!:bigsmile:
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    If you have the new job in place, suck it up and give notice.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Tell her you need the benefits and it is a wonderful opportunity for you and your family. Let her know how much you have loved working there and will always enjoy the memories. (You will need her for years to come on reference letters...).....:bigsmile:

    agree with this. Keep it positive about what you will gain in new role, keep it professional and non personal.
    Also don't burn bridges, the world is a small place.
    Hope it goes well and congrats on your new role.

    As a boss, THIS^^
  • Lunarokra
    Lunarokra Posts: 855 Member
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    Definitely, that's sweet of you to be considerate of them but you have a good opportunity for you and your family and must be able to move on.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    What I've done in the past, is give my employer the opportunity to counter the offer from the new company.

    I ask my boss to schedule a meeting to discuss my employment. When the meeting time comes, I explain to my boss that I have received an offer letter from another company, and I then present the offer letter to him for him to review.

    One of two things then happens: a) My boss counters the offer, or b) My boss wishes me well in my new endeavour, and I hand him my official written notice.

    My reasons for leaving, in the event they are discussed, will be discussed in my exit interview: not at the time of my resignation.

    In your case, if the above scenario just isn't feasible, I would type up a clear and concise letter or resignation: one that explicitly states the reasons for leaving and provide her with that. I would not discuss the situation with her until she's cooled down.

    I'm glad this approach works for you, but for so many reasons, I disagree. Statistically, an employee who obtains something in their employment from a negotiation like this will not be at the company a year later...and not always by the employee's choice. And once an employee makes that emotional break and decides to look elsewhere, it's difficult to regain the commitment.

    OP, unless what you do is so unique and special that no one else can do it, then your boss will/should be fine. Oh, sure, it may be a difficult transition, but this is a necessary part of doing business. To minimize (but not eliminate) the possibility of this happening in the future, your boss should consider whether or not she is paying competitive market wages and should consider some kind of contingency transition plan.
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
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    You tell them how much you enjoyed working there, and then hand her a letter of resignation with all the details. If you really feel that bad, offer to help out a few Saturdays or a couple of evenings.

    Congratulations on your new job!

    **** Just read the above comments. DO NOT EXPLAIN YOURSELF. You never know when you'll need this reference, and making them feel bad about your rate or benefits will be their last memory. If you need to vent, go see a therapist. Having the last word, or trying to resolve irreconcilable differences is a bad way to end.

    Type a letter with the the details of your last work date. Thank them for allowing you to work there, and don't offer anything unless you want to stay on and get a salary increase. My take is they haven't given it to you, and they are probably not going to. So just go and be nice.

    I have worked at companies that walk you to the door when your give a notice.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    Don't feel bad. Just give her the notice. Put it in writing, but tell her in person; and move on. You've done your best.

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