To all HR Managers out there

If you interview someone and they made some mistakes over the past couple years because they were dealing w/ the loss of a loved one...but they went back to school and they have new motivation and they really want to work....
Please...give them a chance...please? This post probably won't help me, but it might help someone that's down in their luck?:frown:

I just had an interview with CH Robinson...a company I can only dream (I guess) of working for...and I'm pretty sure when I mentioned my breakdown...that was a deal breaker.:brokenheart:

It's not like I could have lied about it...I wouldn't anyway...I'm honest to a fault.

Replies

  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,115 Member
    Unfortunately though many are not forgiving and sometimes its best to leave things out. I work in HR and see the discrimination that goes on. As long as they aren't breaking any laws they can choose for any reason not to hire. Good job at least on getting the interview who knows it may not have been a deal breaker. I have been trying to get a job in my degree field and can't even get an interview. Who knows your luck may change.
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    I got my masters degree in June and I can't even get a different job with my own company. I feel I am discriminated because of age and weight.
  • angbieb
    angbieb Posts: 668 Member
    Unfortunately though many are not forgiving and sometimes its best to leave things out. I work in HR and see the discrimination that goes on. As long as they aren't breaking any laws they can choose for any reason not to hire. Good job at least on getting the interview who knows it may not have been a deal breaker. I have been trying to get a job in my degree field and can't even get an interview. Who knows your luck may change.

    Thanks B...I didn't lie, cheat, or steal, and I didn't kill anyone...I left a job without giving my two weeks notice because the mgmt was awful. You say that and you're done...like mgmt of a company...nooo they couldn't be...?
  • angbieb
    angbieb Posts: 668 Member
    I got my masters degree in June and I can't even get a different job with my own company. I feel I am discriminated because of age and weight.

    Isn't that sad! All that hard work...for nothing!:cry:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You need to find a careful way of walking around those questions. What might have been better would be:

    "I had to take some time off to deal with an urgent family situation."

    Honestly, they really can't pry into your business so only give them enough. Less is usually more when they ask you questions about periods of unemployment.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I got my masters degree in June and I can't even get a different job with my own company. I feel I am discriminated because of age and weight.

    You just finished. It's a little too soon to give up. I mean you spent more than 9 months earning it, didn't you? You were dedicated enough to getting the degree. Why not be as dedicated looking for another job?
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    I left a job without notice due to mental health issues. Now, I always refer to it as "personal health issues, which have since been resolved". I'm not lying and I'm not providing more information than necessary. No one has ever asked further questions.
  • dahkneeka
    dahkneeka Posts: 163 Member
    Coming from an HR Manager (ME!)-

    Interviews can be really scarry, nerve racking and feared. People get nervous when they have to talk about themselves. It is easier to tell a story about your personal life, then it is to touch on your career highlights.

    I interview an average of 4 people per week. Sometimes, it gets as high as 15-20 (during our busy season).

    The candidates that always come out on top are those who present themselves with confidences and can provide the support to their comments. For example;

    Interviewer : I have noticed you have been unemployed for x months/weeks/years ..

    Candidate (bad answer) : I had to take time off for personal reasons and now I cant find a job

    Candidate (better answer) : I took some time off to deal with some personal matters, however, during that time I was actively volunteering in the community / upgrading my academics etc. Now that my personal matters are dealt with, I am refreshed and ready to get back into blah blah blah.



    When a candidate offers a pity story about their health/luck/family/divorce etc, it can lead the interviewer to believe the person is in an unstable condition, which in turn, if accurate, could end up costing the company quite a bit.

    I am not saying you said the wrong thing, but you have to consider what the interviewer is paying attention to. They are looking for;

    -a good fit
    -a long term contract/agreement
    -a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL relationship
    -optimism
    -skills
    -potential

    I hope the above can help with your next interview. Go in there an show them whos boss!! Dont forget to dress approproately for the position!

    Good luck =)
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
    I work with a lot of recruiters in my job. I'm a career counselor. One of the major no-no's in a job interview is speaking badly about a past employer. Never, ever do that. Recruiters hate to hear someone bashing another company, manager, etc. It's just the rule of HR. Find a way to turn your experience into a positive. Share what you've learned about yourself from that experience. I think if you can frame the situation and your reason for leaving without notice differently, they might listen more. Don't say "I Had to leave because the management was awful". Talk about the personal life issues you were having at that time, and you realized that you had to make an emergency change to deal with them, so you were unable to give the 2 weeks notice. It was unfortunate and you would never recommend it to anyone else, but that at the time in your life it was the best thing for your family. (You get my point - Something a little softer than my managers were *kitten*! hahaha).

    Honesty is definitely good, don't hide things. But don't be too forthcoming either. Do you have any other jobs that you can give them as an example of your "typical" work ethic?

    Also, is there a career center where you went back to school? Utilize them - A LOT. See if they can connect you with other alumni of the program who can be leads for jobs. Recruiters see hundreds of candidates and they have to make a judgement based on what's in front of them. They have no scope of reference for who you are, outside of that resume and interview. So having a connection can help. Network like crazy. If you don't have a LinkedIn account yet - create one! And Google "LinkedIn for Job Search" to get some really great ideas on building your professional network. Most importantly, don't give up. Somewhere out there is a recruiter who can relate to your story and will give you a chance. Remain positive and hopeful.
  • Rob777com
    Rob777com Posts: 11 Member
    First, I am not an HR manager, but am an interview master, LOL!

    Not telling every little detail and lying are two different things. That is your deep, personal info. Although you should share at an interview to make the right impression, sometimes too much info is not good. Of course an employer wants to know why something is out of place, but most don't expect you to give an extreme example. They want an overall feel of where your current mindset and dependability are.

    IMO, some of the craziest people I have met are the ones that tell you too much when you first meet them. It just sets you back (seems to be commonplace with one of my friends girlfriends). I am not saying that is you, but hopefully you see that instead of feeling bad like you are lying.

    If you don't get this job, be prepared to go in with a different approach next time.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    You need to find a careful way of walking around those questions. What might have been better would be:

    "I had to take some time off to deal with an urgent family situation."

    Honestly, they really can't pry into your business so only give them enough. Less is usually more when they ask you questions about periods of unemployment.

    This exactly. Never mention anything personal. It's none of their business. If they ask why you left without notice, you say you had a family emergency and the job was not accomodating. Blame the job, not your personal life.

    Sorry for your loss, but unfortunately business is business. Sell yourself in interviews. Feelings don't belong at work.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Coming from an HR Manager (ME!)-

    Interviews can be really scarry, nerve racking and feared. People get nervous when they have to talk about themselves. It is easier to tell a story about your personal life, then it is to touch on your career highlights.

    I interview an average of 4 people per week. Sometimes, it gets as high as 15-20 (during our busy season).

    The candidates that always come out on top are those who present themselves with confidences and can provide the support to their comments. For example;

    Interviewer : I have noticed you have been unemployed for x months/weeks/years ..

    Candidate (bad answer) : I had to take time off for personal reasons and now I cant find a job

    Candidate (better answer) : I took some time off to deal with some personal matters, however, during that time I was actively volunteering in the community / upgrading my academics etc. Now that my personal matters are dealt with, I am refreshed and ready to get back into blah blah blah.



    When a candidate offers a pity story about their health/luck/family/divorce etc, it can lead the interviewer to believe the person is in an unstable condition, which in turn, if accurate, could end up costing the company quite a bit.

    I am not saying you said the wrong thing, but you have to consider what the interviewer is paying attention to. They are looking for;

    -a good fit
    -a long term contract/agreement
    -a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL relationship
    -optimism
    -skills
    -potential

    I hope the above can help with your next interview. Go in there an show them whos boss!! Dont forget to dress approproately for the position!

    Good luck =)

    Precisely this.


    Oversharing is not good in interviews. Keep any details to yourself and focus on what you have to offer the company you're interviewing for!
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    Hah...There is no loyalty from an employer or employees anymore. They can find another one of you the next day. Do what they want or else. They dont look for good people they look for people they can easily control. That's corporate america for you.
  • dawnhart77
    dawnhart77 Posts: 52 Member
    I am also an HR Manager and agree with numerous points that have already been made. Don't ever bash management at another company. "I left the company because I wanted to pursue other interests." And then be able to state what you were doing... "looking for a job that would better align with my skills, my passion, my (insert words here) and be confident when you say it. Your attitude makes a huge difference when dealing with situations like that.

    Don't give up! I left a job because I was working an insane amount of hours and had no time for my family. When I went in to see my boss and discuss what we could do to free my time, I just looked at him and said, "you know what, I'm done." No notice no nothing. But when I interviewed I stated that I needed to find a job that could help with work/life balance and would allow me to utilize my creative side. I had a job in a few weeks. And I'm doing what I really love. Oh, and I only work 38 to 40 hours.

    So, hang in there!!
  • bdburch
    bdburch Posts: 127
    Since some master interviewers are here, can I ask a different question?

    I currently have a job. It's a good job and the pay and people are nice. However, the job is boring and I really dislike the location (about a 9 hr drive away from my closest family). I am currently looking for a new job closer to my family.
    How would you phrase it if you were asked in an interview why you left your old job?
  • F1uffy123
    F1uffy123 Posts: 121 Member
    Companies are no longer allowed to ask questions around how much sickness (time off work/school) youve had in the last so many years so by offering this information, this would have unfortunately set alarm bells ringing around reliability, possible high levels of sickness, and mental stability.

    Its fantastic you have overcome this, and this is a great achievement, well done!!

    If you are not successful in this role, focus more on your strengths (although overcoming a breakdown is a massive strength) but remember employers also like to hear about things that did not go so well / areas of weakness too, but alongside this they like to know what you have learned from mistakes/plan to improve etc (I hope this made sense lol) - employers like to see how you learn and adapt to change etc.

    I wish you the best of luck!!

    :)
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
    Just like dawnhart said! You really enjoyed the job, and learned some great skills, but are seeking a better Work/Life Balance, to be closer to family, etc.
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
    Companies are no longer allowed to ask questions around how much sickness (time off work/school) youve had in the last so many years so by offering this information, this would have unfortunately set alarm bells ringing around reliability, possible high levels of sickness, and mental stability.

    Its fantastic you have overcome this, and this is a great achievement, well done!!

    If you are not successful in this role, focus more on your strengths (although overcoming a breakdown is a massive strength) but remember employers also like to hear about things that did not go so well / areas of weakness too, but alongside this they like to know what you have learned from mistakes/plan to improve etc (I hope this made sense lol) - employers like to see how you learn and adapt to change etc.

    I wish you the best of luck!!

    :)

    This too! Yes, I agree. Congratulations on overcoming, going back to school, making life changes. Keep on keeping on! You'll get there.
  • Nissi51
    Nissi51 Posts: 381 Member
    Coming from an HR Manager (ME!)-

    Interviews can be really scarry, nerve racking and feared. People get nervous when they have to talk about themselves. It is easier to tell a story about your personal life, then it is to touch on your career highlights.

    Interviewer : I have noticed you have been unemployed for x months/weeks/years ..

    Candidate (bad answer) : I had to take time off for personal reasons and now I cant find a job

    Candidate (better answer) : I took some time off to deal with some personal matters, however, during that time I was actively volunteering in the community / upgrading my academics etc. Now that my personal matters are dealt with, I am refreshed and ready to get back into blah blah blah.

    When a candidate offers a pity story about their health/luck/family/divorce etc, it can lead the interviewer to believe the person is in an unstable condition, which in turn, if accurate, could end up costing the company quite a bit.

    ^^^^^^^^THIS
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    Since some master interviewers are here, can I ask a different question?

    I currently have a job. It's a good job and the pay and people are nice. However, the job is boring and I really dislike the location (about a 9 hr drive away from my closest family). I am currently looking for a new job closer to my family.
    How would you phrase it if you were asked in an interview why you left your old job?

    I would say you left the job to be closer to your family. I move a lot, used to be for military and then I moved where I wanted. In my experience employers want someone stable. Knowing you are moving back home means you are probably there to stay. You can also say that you are looking for something you are more passionate about. Keep it simple. Don't overthink it.
  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
    Semi off topic and sad...I opened this post to see what heart rate manager was.

    Anyways, you have a ton of great advice already :)
  • angbieb
    angbieb Posts: 668 Member
    After reading all of this great advice I wish there was a "do over" button I could push! Thank you all so much...this is going to help me out A LOT in future interviews!!! :heart:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Coming from an HR Manager (ME!)-

    Interviews can be really scarry, nerve racking and feared. People get nervous when they have to talk about themselves. It is easier to tell a story about your personal life, then it is to touch on your career highlights.

    I interview an average of 4 people per week. Sometimes, it gets as high as 15-20 (during our busy season).

    The candidates that always come out on top are those who present themselves with confidences and can provide the support to their comments. For example;

    Interviewer : I have noticed you have been unemployed for x months/weeks/years ..

    Candidate (bad answer) : I had to take time off for personal reasons and now I cant find a job

    Candidate (better answer) : I took some time off to deal with some personal matters, however, during that time I was actively volunteering in the community / upgrading my academics etc. Now that my personal matters are dealt with, I am refreshed and ready to get back into blah blah blah.



    When a candidate offers a pity story about their health/luck/family/divorce etc, it can lead the interviewer to believe the person is in an unstable condition, which in turn, if accurate, could end up costing the company quite a bit.

    I am not saying you said the wrong thing, but you have to consider what the interviewer is paying attention to. They are looking for;

    -a good fit
    -a long term contract/agreement
    -a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL relationship
    -optimism
    -skills
    -potential

    I hope the above can help with your next interview. Go in there an show them whos boss!! Dont forget to dress approproately for the position!

    Good luck =)

    This...just this...

    short version...

    if you talk about what happened and offer too much insight into the negative they will think you aren't over it...or you may break down again, or you are still dealing...

    if you talk about it as if it's past and done and you are positive about it...that it happened and you grew from it and learned and are ready to take on the world...then they feel you are ready to positively contribute...

    it's all about spin.....

    you can't avoid it...you are right....but you can present it well....and that is key.
  • marciebrian
    marciebrian Posts: 853 Member
    You need to find a careful way of walking around those questions. What might have been better would be:

    "I had to take some time off to deal with an urgent family situation."

    Honestly, they really can't pry into your business so only give them enough. Less is usually more when they ask you questions about periods of unemployment.

    YUP, This! I'm a recruiter and have been in the staffing industry for 20 years. We hear someone left without notice (less than 2 weeks) because of bad management, we consider job abandonment. High risk perception whether it is true or not. Good luck
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    After reading all of this great advice I wish there was a "do over" button I could push! Thank you all so much...this is going to help me out A LOT in future interviews!!! :heart:

    Lesson learned :) See? These boards CAN be helpful and full of warm fuzzies!! LOL
  • veec0
    veec0 Posts: 33 Member
    Never interview for your dream job first. You need to do some practice interview. Go to the ones that you like the least first moving your way up to your dream job. This would give you the experience and some insight on how the interviewer reacts to your answer.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    Never interview for your dream job first. You need to do some practice interview. Go to the ones that you like the least first moving your way up to your dream job. This would give you the experience and some insight on how the interviewer reacts to your answer.

    This made me laugh. Next time don't go interview for your dream job, call some other places you don't want to work and interview there first. Sorry to be rude, but that's how this sounds.
  • MarisaLWood
    MarisaLWood Posts: 44 Member
    I left a job without notice due to mental health issues. Now, I always refer to it as "personal health issues, which have since been resolved". I'm not lying and I'm not providing more information than necessary. No one has ever asked further questions.

    ITA with this! I'm the HR Specialist for a nonprofit organization. If I saw "personal health issues which have since been resolved" on an application that came across my desk, I would be VERY understanding and wouldn't press for further information. In fact, that's essentially the response I would use myself if I were filling out an application.

    (Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, I couldn't legally ask further questions anyway. I would only be able to ask what kinds of accommodations someone with a disability might need IF they volunteered the information.)

    I was fired from a job in a different field in 2006 because--for reasons relating to a serious mental health condition--I was no longer able to do it without some pretty drastic accommodations my ex-employer was unwilling to provide. So I've been in a similar situation.

    Best of luck to all job-hunters out there!
  • veec0
    veec0 Posts: 33 Member
    Never interview for your dream job first. You need to do some practice interview. Go to the ones that you like the least first moving your way up to your dream job. This would give you the experience and some insight on how the interviewer reacts to your answer.

    This made me laugh. Next time don't go interview for your dream job, call some other places you don't want to work and interview there first. Sorry to be rude, but that's how this sounds.
    Not rude at all. Always good to make someone laugh. Laughing also burns about 1.3 calories per minute.
    In the OP's case that would have helped a lot. I interviewed a lot of computer programmer and system analyst last year and I can spot someone who has never been to an interview in a while. They tend to be nervous and the answers are too long or they omit something from their work history, this is exponentially bad when there are 20 other people interviewing for the same position.
  • Pam165
    Pam165 Posts: 11 Member
    I got my masters degree in June and I can't even get a different job with my own company. I feel I am discriminated because of age and weight.

    Never lose faith in yourself. You have what it takes to get a master's degree while working & as an adult. That's something. I had one for 5 years, couldn't get a promotion or lateral transfer in the same company. One day out of the blue, I got wind of a job opening, sent a resume, and got the job with zero experience or formal training the field, all because of my MBA. In less than a month I was on a new commute. The master's degree made the difference in the end. My new employer was looking to professionalize, and between 2 last candidates I was the one with the degree. I've been at the new job now for 12 years. Hang in there!